A Toast

I'd like to raise a toast to Mike and Reyna on their anniversary. Of course, I already consumed my glass of wine, and it's after midnight anyway. Happy belated anniversary, I guess!

The wine, by the way, was the end of a bottle I've had in the fridge for a while. I drank that last glass while soaking in a hot tub of bubbles... trying to ease my back pain and scrub any remaining baby vomit off my leg that may have soaked through my jeans!

Tonight I learned an important lesson: four kids is too many for me to handle by myself. The kids were good - even charming in brief shining moments - but at 8:30 when I talked to Scott on the phone it was all I could do to choke back tears!

Kids are hard work!

Here's what else I learned tonight:

* According to Conner, the dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets taste the best. They are also nice and juicy.

* Babies move fast when you're not watching.

* Babies move in perceived slow motion when you are 10 feet away and there's no way you're going to clear that distance before they tumble head-first off the sofa.

* Babies scream loudly when they are hurt... and also when they are freaked the hell out by falling off the couch.

* If she cries and rubs her eyes, a bottle and a crib is the easiest solution.

* Poopy diapers are exponentially harder to clean once the kid is mobile. I remembered this belatedly from my days sitting for the older ones. There came a time when I would literally sit at Conner's feet and straddle him, my feet up over his shoulders pinning him down. I should have tried that tonight... though it is amusing wiping a butt that's scooting away from you.

* The older kids have learned the virtues of "Mommy does [insert random crap here] before bed." I did not supply chocolate milk or brownies. They got water in sippy cups. All three wanted to sleep in the same room, which I allowed. I also let them fall asleep watching a movie. I have no clue whether Mommy really does any of those things, but it got me peace a mere 45 minutes after their normal bedtime. Victory is mine!

I still totally love those little monsters, but I feel like I'm taking the mature, responsible path here when I say I can't watch all four of them by myself... not unless I bring along blow-darts loaded with Benadryl!