Without a Box

My parents once owned a large box that was probably 30" in every direction. It was blue and white cardboard, and had 6 cardboard drawers that pulled out. The drawers were each storage for a different year's worth of school memorabilia - poems, art projects, reports, etc.

Yesterday, I got (I'll assume) the first of six large envelopes with the contents of one of those drawers. I got the fourth grade. I got a poem about leaves, a map of New Jersey, a program from the Ringling Brothers et. al. Circus, and a few two-page stories. I did not, however, get their drawer or any other way to logically store these items.

I feel a snarky letter coming on. I mean honestly. As I've said before, I left contemporary clothes behind and haven't seen those yet. I have received some slides, but not nearly all of them. It's one thing to go though my father's 9,000 boxes of crap and pull out every piece of me. It's another thing completely to pick and choose which pieces of me can be sanitized and re-used for future generations.

It's Like Poetry

...ok, it is poetry. Scalzi's weekend assignment this week is simply to share a favorite poem. I'm sorry John, but I couldn't pick just one. I have three, although the first one below was the first one to pop into my head as soon as I read the assignment. So I guess it's really my favorite, but I couldn't leave the other two out!

We Are Seven, by William Wordsworth, is the story of the narrator speaking to a little girl. She is one of seven children, but two are dead. The narrator insists then that she is one of five, but she still holds tight to the idea that her siblings are all with her.

"How many are you, then," said I,
"If they two are in heaven?"
Quick was the little maid's reply,
"O master! we are seven."

"But they are dead; those two are dead!
Their spirits are in heaven!"
'Twas throwing words away; for still
The little maid would have her will,
And said, "Nay, we are seven!"

I know it sounds dark (dead children? come on!), but reading it always warms my heart. And I like to believe that no matter where you go or what happens to you, you are always part of a family. And they will always love you and keep you close.

Annabel Lee, by Edgar Allan Poe, is another poem about the dearly departed. Annabel Lee is the star-crossed love of the narrator, torn from him because they were happier together than even the angels in Heaven.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me--
Yes!--that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

Sure, the poem relates a truly broken heart, but I can't get over the amount of love expressed.

I was introduced to my final favorite, The Daffodils, also by Wordsworth, in choir my freshman year of high school. We sang this poem in a sprightly tune that I still remember to this day. This poem doesn't speak of love or death, but of a dream (or memory?) to which the author returns often and with pleasure.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

All three of these are poems that we studied during my American Lit class sophomore year with Mr. Benedetto. He must have passed a true love of poetry on to us if I remember all of these (and a few others) enough to quote them more than 10 years later. Thanks for that, Mr. Benedetto.

ps - I only plagiarized excerpts from these poems. I highly recommend the full versions, to which I have linked.

Extra Credit: Ever write poetry yourself? Funny you should ask! I only just today stumbled across a poem I wrote in the fourth grade. Keep that in mind as you read -- fourth grade!

Leaves
by Jamie H.

Lovely Colors
Excellent Reds
After red comes brown
Very beautiful colors
Empty trees
Scrunch!

Disappointed by Wal Mart

Last night, Scott and I went to buy the TV. He has been looking forward to this moment for... umm... 10 years or so. We had scouted out a model on a previous trip and knew which one we wanted. When we got to the electronics department, we found the tv, but couldn't find any blue-vested wonders to find us one in the box. When we finally got someone (which would be after the lady who sells cell phones said to me, "you need someone in electronics." sorry - didn't realize cell phone technology wasn't electronic!), he looked around in the front, then went to the back and came back out empty-handed. Our TV was out of stock.

Scott asked if he knew when some might be back in. "Maybe a couple of weeks" was the answer he got. So we left without a TV or a TV stand. And we won't be purchasing either from this store.

I realize it's Wal Mart, where customer service roams free like a ferile cat. I realize that Wal Mart is a zillion-dollar corporation, and that $500 probably isn't important to them one way or the other. But if I ran a store, you can bet I'd have a waiting list or a layaway plan or maybe even offer to call around to other stores in the area. I wouldn't let that money get away.

But that's just me.

Ancient History

I've been "making lemonade," as the saying goes, out of these boxes of stuff flooding our mailbox. Being the proud owner of tons of old family pictures is rather fun... especially when I get to share pictures that people have forgotten all about. I sent out 3 pictures to a handful of family members and got such a good response that I've made a web page with 8 "ancient" family photos.

This one is my mom's prom photo. This picture wasn't new to me - I think Mom may actually have a larger version of it framed or in an album somewhere. But I still love it enough to share with the world. The dress still hasn't come back into style, but I think I've actually owned the same shoes. That's got to count for something!

Awkward Cake & Punch

Our work division (which includes our office and the Guest Communications office) had one of those awkward cake & punch type receptions yesterday for those of us nominated for PIE. Hosted by management, and attended by the rest of us, it was one of those "sit at a table with people you know and no one gets hurt" situations. Of the 18 nominees, I know exactly 9. The rest were from the other office. We had 4 separate speeches from our upper echelon management on how proud we should be to have been nominated, we got certificates (more on that to come), we shook hands with our big-big boss, we posed for pictures, and we had cake & punch.

This, I would imagine, is the closest I'm ever going to get to being nominated for an Oscar or an Emmy. And I get what they always say now, because I'm so proud of me for just being nominated. I mean, someone has to think of 11 nice things to say about you and write them out. I can barely think of 11 nice things to say about myself... and I'm around me all the time!!

I guess none of this really sunk in until I got my certificate. It's so pretty I may have to rearrange the stuff on the fridge to make a place for it! I told Scott we need a den... because dens are good places to hang diplomas and cheesey awards and stuff like this.

There are six of us from the Help Desk who were nominated, and I'd be pleasantly surprised if any of us actually got the award. If anyone does, I'll be sure to make a note. But like I said before, I'm pretty sure this is the end of the road for me. And I'm thrilled I got to go to the awkward cake & punch reception!!

... and another box

I told Scott I'm just about at the end of my mental rope as far as these boxes go. Today's box actually included some of those items I said were missing -- my Playbills, the autographed picture of Ty (which I can't WAIT to show all the girls at work on Thursday!!), and some slides of my childhood (there's lots more).

I am finding some chunks of fun and humor in the boxes. The box full of naked Cabbage Patch Dolls and a saddle (for a Cabbage Patch Show Pony) made me belly laugh. It was like bad dolly s & m porn. A picture of my Aunt Rose and cousin Laura taken 30+ years ago when Laura was only 6 months old was instantly labeled "blackmail material" by Scott. Today I was reading notes between me and Bill, who was my boyfriend for a month or two during my freshman year of high school (today he's a waiter at a 5-star restaurant, and he lives with his boyfriend). How could I not know he was gay? It was painfully obvious reading the notes!

And of course, there's a certain amount of irony. Two weeks ago, I made a comment about not owning any pictures of myself in my orange sequin color guard uniform. Today, I have almost a dozen pictures of just that. I also have prom pictures, beach pictures (Aunt Mary in a bikini? lol), first birthday pictures, chicken pox pictures, an 8x10 of me Laura and Alicia wearing matching dresses, slides of my mother at age 5ish, slides of me dressed as Cleopatra for Halloween, and slides of me and Mom at the Magic Kingdom when I was really little (stroller age).

I keep telling myself to be glad that I have these tangible pieces of the past and that they weren't just thrown in the garbage. I keep finding the positive pieces in every box. But I'm ready for the boxes to stop coming so that I can sort through them all at once and decide what goes where. I want this chapter to be over.

Four More Boxes

I didn't mention the two boxes I got from my wicked step-mother the other day. At the time, there were too many raw emotions to be mature and logical, so instead I threw a sarcastic paragraph onto my BYE blog. Four more boxes arrived on Saturday, but went to the rental office where they were locked up until today. Today's boxes included some fabulous stuff:

The Jamie file from my dad's filing cabinet -- report cards, school reports, and other assorted papers I haven't gone through

A large envelope of pictures, many of those were small school pics of my cousins and pictures taken before I was born

An entire box of Cabbage Patch Kids - most without their clothes

An ecclectic box of clothes - my prom dress (the shoes were in another box), a CHS color guard uniform, my girl scout uniform (Juniors), my high school jacket, and a bag of baby dresses

The Vermont teddy bear I got for high school graduation (which was in its own box)

A personalized Lenox Christmas ornament for me and Scott from my grandfather that was mailed to us c/o my father. Now I have to send a 2 years belated thank you note explaining that I'm not an ungrateful bitch! The ornament is beautiful.

And the contents of one of the drawers from my bedroom: newspapers from the bus accident and letters from my Gulf War (Desert Storm) pen pal. Strangely enough, the same drawer also included Playbills from all of the Broadway shows I've ever seen. They weren't included.

I'm pretty sure there's still more to come. After all, I haven't yet gotten the slides from my childhood or my autographed picture of Ty Pennington. More details as this story unpacks!

No Good Deed

...goes unpunished!

Memo to Me:
The next time I think about organizing something fun and special for the people I work with, I need to remember these comments I heard tonight:
* why aren't there nuts?
* why didn't you cut the strawberries?
* I don't like bananas.
* the ice cream is too hard.
* I don't like ice cream.

Overall, most of the people said thank you to at least one of the Help Desk folk, and I did have a delicious banana-split-type sundae. I guess it wasn't a total wash.

Fabulous!

I started a new blog tonight. This is actually a co-blog from me and my "fabulous" manager John. It's still in its infancy (as in he knows I'm doing it, but hasn't even seen it yet), and is really just something that he and I are playing around with. Who knows what's going to happen when I get to work tomorrow!

Anyway, it is called John X: Adventures in Fabulousness, and I invite you to check it out. But please don't leave any comments... since he hasn't even seen it yet and it's "his" project!

In other news, we at the help desk are throwing an ice cream social tomorrow night for the rest of the call center. The new bid starts on Sunday, so it's a "thanks for a great past six months" kind of thing. Mostly though, I want ice cream and thought I'd share with the world.

Charcoal Pantiliners

I bet that headline caught your attention! So I was watching American Inventor tonight while talking to Scott on the phone when all of a sudden he got a big earful of "you HAVE TO turn on ABC RIGHT NOW!" There was a man on who invented charcoal pantiliners. You know, to ease the embarrassment of the stinky fart.

Ask Scott -- I have said multiple times that I was going to find underwear made of charcoal for... umm... our friends with stinky farts. Yeah... that's it! Sadly, the judges didn't think it was such a great idea and didn't advance him. What a bunch of morons!

...but if they are ever mass-produced and I find them in the store I will buy them in a New York minute... for our friends with the stinky butts. ;o)

Cat & Mouse

I think we're making progress on the barren cat tree. I had a brainstorm tonight and decided to tie the furry mouse-on-a-string to the top of the tree, and within 5 minutes Milo was up on the middle shelf batting it around.

...of course, Milo being Milo, he would pose for the camera every time I turned it on. This is his "don't hate me because I'm beautiful" pose.

In other pet news, today was cleaning day for Zoe Pig. I rearranged the stuff in her cage. I do this every week in some kind of lame attempt to make her believe her life is more interesting than just living in a box. "Ooh...I must be in a new and exotic land. The chube is diagonal here!" Or maybe the frequent vista changes will make her paranoid and neurotic. But she's like that anyway. We'll never know the difference!

As for Mr. Roach, he is still missing. Scott is trying to convince me that I hit him and he went under something to die. I don't buy it. I have the heebee jeebees like you wouldn't believe.

Roach!

It's been a long time since I've seen a roach in our apartment. The last time, it was on the wall in my bedroom. It was 2 am, and Scott was asleep. I considered waking him, but thought that would be mean. Even after I went into the living room for a shoe, I thought maybe he'd be glad that I was thoughtful enough to get him a shoe before waking him up. Ultimately, I sucked it up and didn't wake him up... until the SLAM of his big heavy shoe on the wall. I was lucky - the thing fell off the wall straight into his garbage can.

When Scott and I talked about that roach the next morning, he revealed to me that he had actually maimed it the night before I killed it - when he woke up and it was crawling on him in my bed. We went and bought a bunch of roach baits, and I haven't seen one since.

...until this morning.

I was grabbing darks off the top of Mt. Laundry Basket and saw a dark shape move. Yep - there was the back end of a roach hiding under Scott's favorite jeans. I thought about getting the can of Raid, but with Zoe Pig just a few feet away I didn't want to risk it. That left the shoe... on a pile of soft clothes. But I did it anyway. I got one of my old security shoes, got up on the bed (to prepare for the counter-attack), and slammed the shoe down. I think I killed the darn thing, since it was right between the shoe and the top edge of the basket. But it was under the jeans and I'm too chicken shit to pick them up and look. Even dead roaches creep me out to no end.

Besides, what if it's not dead?

Unsolicited Advice

The Naked Ovary refers to unsolicited advice as "assvice," which I think is rather clever and fitting. However, I'm about to dole it out to Matthew and Kristen, who are going on a seven-night Disney Cruise next week. (by the way, happy early birthday Kristen... watch out for the "special birthday dessert!") And when I speak, how could it possibly be "assvice?"

Below is a letter that Scott and I wrote on the last night of our cruise. It is on the last page of the March section of our cruise scrapbook. A letter to whom? Check it out:

4 March, 2006

Dear Future Scott and Jamie,

Here are some lessons we learned on this trip that you should keep in mind for future cruises:

* Book a handicapped-accessible stateroom -- ROOMY!
* Pack the following: random medicines, shaving cream, extra comfy shoes, body wash, extra pillow, water-proof camera, bottled water, watch
* Skip the following: Nassau, aerosol sunscreen (which had pro's and con's), excursion packages at Castaway Cay (weather is too much of a variable), rigatoni at Triton's (which has blue cheese...yecht!), duck & goat cheese flatbread at Animator's Palatte.
* Take a million pictures, and ask people to take pictures of you together
* See a sunset... and a sunrise
* Catch the fireworks
* Tap water is decent - don't waste bottled water inside the stateroom
* Don't over-schedule! relax relax relax

Love, Past Scott and Jamie

See, it's not really advice to you guys... it's advice to us, presented to you guys just in case you're interested. Oh - and one plea: PLEASE see the Cinderella show. It's the only one they don't do on the Wonder and I want to hear all about it.

The Lion King

I just e-mailed Scott, but I know he's not going to get the e-mail until he's home from his class, and I just had to share.

The Lion King is coming to Orlando this December/January. And tickets are surprisingly affordable: $21 - $76. This is totally what I want for either our anniversary or Christmas. But I want to know in advance so that I can be all excited about it. Of course, I would rather see Aida, but it was so wildly unpopular it's not even touring in the US anymore.

I need to check with Scott, but I also think this might be a fun thing to get a group together for. Who knows? All I know is that I'll be at that show come hell or high water.

A Whole New Adventure

Did you see the big news today? The Disney Magic is taking off across the Atlantic and spending next summer in Europe!

Disney Cruise Line announced this morning that its Disney Magic ship will sail the Mediterranean in summer 2007.

The ship, which spent last summer on the West Coast, will make stops in European locales including Barcelona, the French Riviera and Naples, Italy.

Actually, more than the 10- and 11-night European cruises, the 14 night repositioning cruises caught my eye. The eastbound leaves from home, hits Castaway Cay and the Canary Islands before hitting Spain, Gibraltar, and finishes at Barcelona. Of course, the return trip (over Scott's birthday, I might add) is exactly the opposite. And the fare is, in my opinion, pretty reasonable - starting at $1999/person for the cheapest stateroom.

Sadly for us, $4000, plus taxes and fees, plus one-way airfare is way out of our price range. We could do it if we really wanted, but that's almost a whole down payment on a house. Who in our position could justify that?? Still, it's nice to dream.

The FSA Saga Continues

If you missed Part One of our FSA saga, or can't remember the details, you should probably go back and study that before moving on. I present Part Two this morning, once again from Guest Blogger Mr. ParkHopper:

It was returned yet AGAIN!!! muahh hahahahahahah! I told her, "just copy down whatever my wife's had on it, she got hers!" She said that the address they used had to come through the employer, so I checked. they are almost identical. So, she put me on hold for a while, and checked with "someone" about what to do. She came back and said the ONLY difference between our two addresses is.....are you ready for this?...... There is a comma in mine between the street and the apartment, and not hers. She said she really doesn't think that is the issue. I, somehow, agree. So I gave her my phone numbers so they could have the "lady in charge of the returned cards" call me...... Oh the drama continues.....

And I thought I had trouble with Remanufactured Transmission. Compared to the FSA people, these guys look like Good Samaritans!

Spring

They say today is the first day of Spring. It's strange to live in Florida this time of year, since we've had our spring flowers for at least a month. We've got some beautiful azaleas (I think that's what they are) outside our office door, and every now and then I catch a whiff of orange blossom on the breeze.

Pretty flowers have inspired me to participate in Scalzi's Monday Photo Shoot for the first time in quite a while. He asked for signs of Spring, and boy am I delivering! Below I present Springtime in the Bahamas, as captured during our cruise two weeks ago...
photos taken on Disney's private Bahamian island, Castaway Cay, where it's always lush and beautiful.

Cherry Bombs

The muffins weren't bad. However, the little cherry surprise in the middle didn't add much flavor. In the future, I might have to add a little off that pie filling goo to the batter to make them super-tasty.

Of course, when is it likely that I'll have a box of muffin mix that's not pre-flavored again? The only reason I had it this time is because I used a can of blueberries to make (sour) pancakes!

Smoked Breakfast Breads

I'm about to wrap our oven with yellow caution tape, since it has become chokingly painful that neither Scott nor I should operate the dang thing.

**cough**

It all started a couple of days ago when Scott had a little breakfast incident involving an angel food cake pan and some sticky bun sauce that went amok. He smoked up the joint. In his defense, he was in the bathroom for most of the damage. I heard the drips sizzling in the bottom of the oven and never thought to grab a baking sheet to control the damage. We opened up all the windows, turned on the ceiling fan, and waited it out. It was really bad for the rest of the morning, but basically not noticeable when we got home from work.

Then tonight I felt compelled to make mmmmmuffins. Before I even started cooking, I called Scott to ask if the oven was safe. In a word, he said no. But he assured me I could either scrape out the gunk or spray oven cleaner and let it sit for 20 minutes. Who has 20 minutes when they're craving muffins? Not me! So I set out scraping the bottom of the oven. I used dry paper towels and my finger nails to get out the big chunks, and wet paper towels to wipe out the sticky mess that remained.

And then I turned the oven on. All the way up to 400. And I started mixing my muffins... and smelling smoke. But it wasn't too bad. I figured it would just need a minute or two to cook off whatever I missed. I apparently missed a lot, including the sticky mess on the actual oven racks. While I didn't have the big plumes of smoke Scott had, I once again found myself opening all the windows, turning on the ceiling fan, and joining the cats out on the balcony for some fresh air. What a mess!

Actually, I think that despite my misadventures in cooking, they may end up tasting ok: regular muffin mix with a spoonful of cherry pie filling in the middle. I'm calling them "cherry bombs" but if they suck, I'll just call them "smoke bombs" in honor of our apartment!

Pleasant Surprise

I thought that Blogger had eaten the entry below, since when I published it yesterday afternoon, there was some kind of "error" and all of my typing had disappeared. I was psyching myself up to rewrite the darn thing tonight, but it has appeared. Thank goodness, because I really didn't want to write a half-a$$ version of what I had written the first time.

It's an Irish miracle!