Shining HAPPY People?

My chosen career path (no, I'm not really calling my job a career) has lead me to form a theory:

Happy, well-adjusted families do not spend their holidays at theme parks.

In my own experience, my family spent two separate spring breaks at Disney. Both were in my parents' last few years of marriage, and one of those was actually because we came down to visit my great-grandmother.

Parents drag their families to Florida hoping that the "magic" in the air will fix their problems, or at least while they are here they expect to forget about their problems. But they get to the Orlando airport and look around and realize:
a) it's hot down here!
b) wow - there's a lot of people!
c) my luggage is missing
d) my teenager still has his iPod super glued to himself

And then they get to their hotel and realize why they paid peak rates for their room:
a) wow - there's a lot of people!
b) the hotel is booked and all they have left is smoking-optional accomodations
c) the restaurant is booked and they aren't taking walk-ins.
d) my teenager still has his iPod super glued to himself

And then they set foot in their theme park of choice. As the parents pause to feel their stress wisked away by magical fairies, they:
a) have strollers slam into the backs of their legs
b) watch their kids run off to the thrill rides, but not before they realize...
c) the only thing that has been wisked away is the money from their pockets, as the teenagers become specks in the distance, and
d) wow - there's a lot of people!

At the end of the day, these people don't get what they were expecting at all. They get their families back exactly the way they were. Only now, the kids have been cut off from their friends and their video games, the parents don't get to escape to work for a third of the day, and they are all crammed into one tiny room. "Quality time" is what the family needs, but not what they get in this week of lines, fast food, and short tempers.

... and then they call and tell me that I have ruined their vacation. And I apologize and let them believe that. Because they aren't ready to admit that their family is fragmented beyond repair.