Caption This!

I took this picture with my camera phone at work a few days ago. I couldn't tell you what these two particular items were doing in my office, but they were just screaming for funny captions.

(sorry for the blur)
My caption is actually a book title: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fugly

I'm sure you can do better though... right?

Cross My Heart...

I promise this will be my last gas price rant for at least a week... probably 2 weeks. But really, it simply MUST be said:

I paid $39.04 to fill my tank today.

I drive a compact car that holds a maximum of 11 gallons of gas in the tank. And I didn't buy 11 gallons of gas today.

$39.04.

It took me by surprise. I may have blacked out behind the wheel as a result.

All day today I was wondering how long ago it was that I was paying less than $30. I remember that it was recent, and I remember being glad I'd put it off as long as I had, because Scott (with the bigger tank) had been paying $30+ for a while. So I just took a look through my bank statement and found out that on March 28 I paid $29.78 to fill my tank, and then on April 14 I paid $31.89.

April 14 was 33 days ago. And that's like a 20% increase! (it's late, so please forgive me if my math is way off there) What the heck is going on out there?!?

And now, as is my custom when I am angry about gas prices, I shall offer this charming tidbit from our Commander in Chief (courtesy of CNN.com):

"We've got to do more at home," the president said on the lush lawn of a resort overlooking the Red Sea in Sharm El-Sheik, Egypt.

Speaking after a private meeting with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai, he mentioned moves that have long been part of his agenda but stymied in Congress, such as developing alternate fuels, improving conservation and expanding domestic exploration.

So let me get this straight: our own "oil man" President is blaming CONGRESS for not pushing alternate fuels? Yes, I admit to hearing something along the lines of, "no...you may not drill for oil in a wildlife refuge." But other than that, I call bullshit. grrrr

Yes

Yes, I am embarrassed that a few moments of this video made my inner 10-year-old squeal in delight.

You don't have to watch it... but I bet you will!

What a Choice!

I don't know anyone who got to choose their own name. Indeed, at birth, I imagine most of us would have named ourselves some variation of "WAAAAH" or "Eh Eh Eh." I know that Cadence would have named herself "Ack Ack Ack" - which is my best approximation of the noise a dolphin makes - because that's what her cries sounded like fresh out of the womb.

We do get to choose other ways of verbally representing ourselves, and sometimes those choices really give me pause. I mean, when I worked at the RCC, my stage name was "Jamie." It was easy enough to remember, and that was my primary concern. My e-mail addresses have all been either some variation of Jamie or my old stand-by "Sliced Bread." Here, I go by ParkHopper because it's a little more fun than a plain-old name, and because a good portion of my entries are about… you guessed it… park hopping!

Why do you suppose someone would give themselves an e-mail address that started with "bighead?" Charlie Brown fan? Person with a large cranium? Screen name from an illicit website?

On my way to work this morning, I passed a car whose license plate read "NUTLVR." I personally translated that as "nut lover." Was "MRPNUT" already taken? Is this someone who runs a boiled p-nut (because they never write out the whole word) stand? Someone passionate about almonds? Gay man? Straight woman? Maybe the person was born with a tiny liver (one the size of a nut?). I wanted to ask:

Really, why did you choose THAT to represent yourself to thousands of others?

Growing up, the woman who lived at the corner of Carlton & Greenbrook had a tag proclaiming herself "SIZE 3." Well that's just fan-freaking-tastic. Thank you for sharing. Now we know if a fatty is driving your car we should call the cops!

I love that we get to pick our names in so many different ways. I just wish I could get inside the heads of the NUTLVRs and the BigHeads of the world and find out their motivation.

$OMG!

I forgot to update on this post. Believe it or not, the next tank of gas I bought was on Tuesday the 6th, and the price had only gone up to $3.55!

Since I guessed $3.60 and Janette guessed $3.61, that means I won back my own $5. I will buy myself a large un-sweet tea and some chicken nuggets with my winnings.

Sadly, I'm going to have to fill up tonight or tomorrow, and it's not looking pretty. Gas across the street was $3.65 when I got home last night, and the gas station close to work was $3.71! (note that I put those prices in the past tense... I'm rather afraid to find out what happened over night)

Enough of gas prices. Here's a video of the man I'm blaming for the gas prices (the part I like starts around 1:40):

What Do YOU Think?

Do you think the TSA is going to have something to say about my new luggage? I can't wait to find out!

I found us a flight to Atlanta that is just a hair more expensive than driving would have been, and then discovered that a) they charge for checked luggage, and b) all of my suitcases that used to be carry-on size are now larger than they allow. Shopping trip!!

I don't understand. Did the airplanes get smaller in the past 5 years?

Also, I'm torn - do I wear my sneakers so that there's more room in the bags, or wear my flip flops so I don't have to take my shoes off? Actually, I already know I'm wearing sneakers. Oh yeah - and that sunscreen that I just bought? More than 3 ounces. Crap!

But back to the suitcase: what seemed like a fun, whimsical idea in the aisle at Wal Mart now worries me. What if I get subjected to a BCS because some government lackey on a power trip decides I'm making some sort of veiled threat? What if the people at the hotel laugh at me? This bag might be better suited for a trip to Disney than a trip out of Orlando.

Oh well... at least if I do end up having the check the bag (ever) it'll be easy to spot on the baggage carousel!

In Bed

...it's not just for fortune cookies anymore!

Where was I until noon? In bed, asleep.

Where was I from 3 to 6:45? In bed, asleep.

Where would I like to be right now? you get the picture.

In my defense, I am coming down with something. I had a sore throat and a cough most of the day yesterday, so I took Nyquil last night when Scott came home (which was actually around 2 this morning). It feels like I got the sleep effects from the entire bottle of Nyquil from one little shot!

Going to try to stay awake for all my favorite Monday night TV... I guess we'll see about that!

Where Mah Monay?

According to the IRS, I was scheduled to get my "Bump GWB's Approval Rating" check direct deposited yesterday.

I didn't.

According to the Orlando Sentinel, "Some electronic filers will have to wait until the paper checks hit the mail." The article goes on to say,

The IRS will not direct-deposit a rebate check for people who filed an electronic return through a private tax preparer such as H&R Block or Jackson Hewitt and got a loan in anticipation of a refund. Or for people who used a program such as TurboTax and agreed to have their online-filing fee deducted from their refund.

Well, I did use TurboTax, but I free-filed, and there was no fee deducted. I had to put in our account number once to have our tax payment deducted, and then had to enter it again for the direct deposit!

Perhaps the answer to this question lies on the IRS FAQ Page:

In general, the payment schedule only applies if your return was received and the IRS finished processing it before April 15. If you filed your return on time, but close to the April 15 deadline, the IRS may not have finished processing it before April 15.Processing times for tax returns and stimulus payments vary. If you are getting a regular income-tax refund, the IRS will send you that refund first. Normally, your stimulus payment will follow one to two weeks later.

If you are not expecting a regular tax refund, your stimulus payment
generally should arrive a minimum of six weeks after you file.

So because I filed on April 14 and the IRS processed my return on the 16th (well, that's the day they took the money out of my checking account), I have to wait a minimum of 6 weeks for my check?

I hate the government!

(and also, I hope no one was expecting souvenirs from vacation... looks like the budget is going to be pretty tight)

My Favorite Astronaut: Garrett Reisman

This was quite possibly the best Colbert interview I've ever seen. Even Scott enjoyed it!

Hillary in the Movies

FYI, I am knocking some serious wood as I type this.

On Tuesday night, I watched Obama's victory speech in North Carolina. At one point, wiping away my tears of joy, I looked over to Scott and noted that he had only mentioned Hillary's name in the very beginning of the speech. After that, the speech was pretty much about why he was a better man for the job than John McCain. "Huh... he's acting like he's moving on. That's excellent!"

And the next day, the news media all pretty much agreed. That warmed my heart too. But then the rest of the political news was devoted to Hillary and when they thought she might bow out. After winning the next two, so that she can go out on top? Before the convention? At the convention? After the inauguration?

Ever since I started hearing these stories, I just keep having random movie lines pop into my head. And now I will share them with you:

Goonies never say die!

I'm not dead yet. (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

Another from MPatHG:
King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: *Look*!
Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

And then there's this one from The Princess Bride that keeps popping into my head. I don't know why: I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.

WhosAGoodGirl???

Pardon me for a moment while I pat myself on the back for making the following good decisions in the past few days:

* On Tuesday, ordering Chicken Tuscan Style (grilled, with artichokes, tomatoes, squash and mushrooms) instead of the pot pie at Mimi's Cafe. Also, substituting steamed broccoli for the mashed potatoes.

* Yesterday, taking a brisk 40-minute walk with Scott from the TTC, meandering around the Poly, and up to the Grand and back. Bonus: fireworks mid-walk.

* Buying yellow squash at the store, perfect for steaming and having with dinner.

* Stocking up on 100-calorie packs to add to our "snack drawer." This time, Goldfish and Pretzel Goldfish.

* At the dentist this week, having my teeth cleaned without the woman using the water-pik of death. That means I've been good for the past 6 months!

Thank you for humoring me. Time to pack a healthy-ish lunch/dinner for work.

Bad Scott!

You don't have to buy 6 cans of green beans just because they are BOGO!

Eek!

(the sound made on a high G - which is ordinarily well within my range - after waiting 2 hours for my audition and maybe coming down with a cold)

The audition: it didn't go so well. At this point, I'm hoping that my participation last year and the part of the song I didn't screw up is enough to carry me through. I won't be surprised if I make it, but I wouldn't blame them if they didn't invite me back.

Nope...not modesty...honestly.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. I should hear in a week or two.

That Time of Year

Encore auditions start TODAY! I'll be going over on Monday evening for my 16-24 bars of torture. Anyway, just saw this video from the Orlando PBS station and thought I'd share. I seriously hope I'm not in the top corner again this year (if I make it, of course) - my right shoulder made it into the tape, but that's it!

Celebrity...ish

Earlier tonight, I was standing in the waiting area shared by The Restaurant and another restaurant chatting with Number Two (actually, dishing about how The Restaurant is like the "grown-up" table at Thanksgiving and the other restaurant is like the kids' table). As we were wrapping up our conversation, my focus was shifted to a family of four - two grown ups and two little girls - waiting for their table at the other restaurant. A man in a bright blue Mickey t-shirt (which is probably why my attention went there) walked past where the family was sitting, stopped dead in his tracks, and took two steps backward (no - didn't turn around - actually back-stepped).

blue shirt guy: You look just like Moderately Famous Writer
family guy: Nah...he's much better looking than I am.

At which point family man stood up and shook blue shirt guy's hand and said it was a pleasure to meet him. Blue shirt guy said something friendly back, walked away, and family guy went back to being the family guy. So yeah - I was 5 feet away from someone I aspire to be when I grow up: someone who writes funny stories about their life, has a mass audience, and makes money doing it!

It was pretty cool.

I was also pretty impressed about how that situation went down. Both men were, I think, the perfect amount of friendly. There was no pestering for autograph and also no aloof-celebrity-ness. It's how I'd like to imagine the day I meet any of my boyfriends... although I would be happy to sign an autograph for any of them!

Sadly, none of the managers of either restaurant knew who he was. It sucks being star-struck when no one around you is as impressed by the situation as you are. Oh well... it still tickled me to death!

3-0 Update

My 30th Birthday is 10 months from today.

In honor of the occasion, I wore some white cotton granny panties and plucked my chin hairs.

Par-tay!

Photo Safari

After almost 18 months, I finally managed to be in Animal Kingdom on a sunny day with my "new" camera. The result? LOTS of animal pictures. Here's some of my favorites:

Pop Quiz

One point to the first person who guesses what's in this take-out box.

Two points to the first person who guesses what restaurant provided said take-out. (of course, the art work was all mine)

All of My Political Eggs in One Post

...so you can skip right over it if you want!

On the way home from IKEA yesterday, we heard Jim Philips and all of his callers (it's so rare that they are all united on a single idea) ranting about this column from the Sentinel. In short, the members of the Florida Legislature don't pay anything towards their health insurance for themselves or their families.

After listening for the whole drive home, I too was incensed. And for once, I was so upset I actually said something! Here's most of the letter that I sent to my State Senator and my State Rep:

Every day recently, the local news has featured stories on multiple state and local public works that are going to be under-funded or shut down due to the lack of money in the state budget this year. And yet somehow you can justify not paying into your health insurance plan?

As a full-time employee of Company X, I have some of the most reasonable insurance going. Yet even I pay about $30 per week out of my paycheck, which covers insurance for only myself. [insert personal accounts of people I know of who don't have insurance here] Each of these people are Florida residents. Don't you care about them?

I find it morally reprehensible that you and your fellow State Senators do not have to pay for health insurance for yourselves and your families. Please consider changing that policy. A mere $100 per month per Senator and Representative could certainly fund necessary programs within the state, and can hardly be considered a hardship.

Today, I heard that $1 million was cut out of the state foster care budget, which has lead to an agency in Seminole County not having enough money left for one single adoption. I started thinking maybe I should e-mail my two new "friends" (who, by the way, are both republican... go figure!) every time I see one of these stories on the news. You know - "Hey Paula/Hugh - Just thought I'd let you know about yet another group of Florida Residents who have had to suffer while you continue to enjoy your free health care. Kisses, J-Mo"

As for the national political theater, here's a commercial for my candidate of choice. I wonder what it's like to live in a country where your President gives you hope for the future, and whose speeches give you goose bumps.

IKEA Ideas

Yesterday Scott and I ventured out to IKEA in search of two things that we saw last time we were there. (and of course, so that I could sit in all of the orange furniture. how much is too much orange? maybe this much!)

We ended up not getting either of the items we set out for (still haven't decided on "art" for our bathroom - we're torn between the frog in the flower and the big orange flower), but we did revolutionize our kitchen pantry.

OK, we didn't quite revolutionize it... but we took a step. Our pantry has been over-crowded and pretty much disastrous for years now, and I was pretty inspired by the kitchen set-ups with cabinet shelves that slide out for easy access.

And then we found Antonius. It's an extremely cheap version of what I was hoping to accomplish in the open section of the pantry. We spent a mere $50 for this frame and all of the sliding baskets, and this unit fit about 90% of what was in the pantry and on the kitchen floor. We then moved the stuff we use often (Gladware containers, garbage bags, cat food) into the pantry so that we wouldn't have to move the trash can or the new shelves (which are on wheels).

The ultimate goal is to clean out the pantry on the left so that we can move the junk in the closet on the right into there. Then Antonius can fit into the closet and won't be there in plain sight. Of course, Milo has taken to laying under the bottom shelf. We all know he loves to be places he thinks he shouldn't be, and this certainly fits that criteria!

Cleaning out the pantry did bring one strange situation to light: the 5 cans of green beans Scott is hoarding. Apparently with the price of rice and grains going up, he figures it'll only be a matter of time until green beans are also out of reach. And when that happens, we'll be prepared!