Unsolicited Advice

The Naked Ovary refers to unsolicited advice as "assvice," which I think is rather clever and fitting. However, I'm about to dole it out to Matthew and Kristen, who are going on a seven-night Disney Cruise next week. (by the way, happy early birthday Kristen... watch out for the "special birthday dessert!") And when I speak, how could it possibly be "assvice?"

Below is a letter that Scott and I wrote on the last night of our cruise. It is on the last page of the March section of our cruise scrapbook. A letter to whom? Check it out:

4 March, 2006

Dear Future Scott and Jamie,

Here are some lessons we learned on this trip that you should keep in mind for future cruises:

* Book a handicapped-accessible stateroom -- ROOMY!
* Pack the following: random medicines, shaving cream, extra comfy shoes, body wash, extra pillow, water-proof camera, bottled water, watch
* Skip the following: Nassau, aerosol sunscreen (which had pro's and con's), excursion packages at Castaway Cay (weather is too much of a variable), rigatoni at Triton's (which has blue cheese...yecht!), duck & goat cheese flatbread at Animator's Palatte.
* Take a million pictures, and ask people to take pictures of you together
* See a sunset... and a sunrise
* Catch the fireworks
* Tap water is decent - don't waste bottled water inside the stateroom
* Don't over-schedule! relax relax relax

Love, Past Scott and Jamie

See, it's not really advice to you guys... it's advice to us, presented to you guys just in case you're interested. Oh - and one plea: PLEASE see the Cinderella show. It's the only one they don't do on the Wonder and I want to hear all about it.

The Lion King

I just e-mailed Scott, but I know he's not going to get the e-mail until he's home from his class, and I just had to share.

The Lion King is coming to Orlando this December/January. And tickets are surprisingly affordable: $21 - $76. This is totally what I want for either our anniversary or Christmas. But I want to know in advance so that I can be all excited about it. Of course, I would rather see Aida, but it was so wildly unpopular it's not even touring in the US anymore.

I need to check with Scott, but I also think this might be a fun thing to get a group together for. Who knows? All I know is that I'll be at that show come hell or high water.

A Whole New Adventure

Did you see the big news today? The Disney Magic is taking off across the Atlantic and spending next summer in Europe!

Disney Cruise Line announced this morning that its Disney Magic ship will sail the Mediterranean in summer 2007.

The ship, which spent last summer on the West Coast, will make stops in European locales including Barcelona, the French Riviera and Naples, Italy.

Actually, more than the 10- and 11-night European cruises, the 14 night repositioning cruises caught my eye. The eastbound leaves from home, hits Castaway Cay and the Canary Islands before hitting Spain, Gibraltar, and finishes at Barcelona. Of course, the return trip (over Scott's birthday, I might add) is exactly the opposite. And the fare is, in my opinion, pretty reasonable - starting at $1999/person for the cheapest stateroom.

Sadly for us, $4000, plus taxes and fees, plus one-way airfare is way out of our price range. We could do it if we really wanted, but that's almost a whole down payment on a house. Who in our position could justify that?? Still, it's nice to dream.

The FSA Saga Continues

If you missed Part One of our FSA saga, or can't remember the details, you should probably go back and study that before moving on. I present Part Two this morning, once again from Guest Blogger Mr. ParkHopper:

It was returned yet AGAIN!!! muahh hahahahahahah! I told her, "just copy down whatever my wife's had on it, she got hers!" She said that the address they used had to come through the employer, so I checked. they are almost identical. So, she put me on hold for a while, and checked with "someone" about what to do. She came back and said the ONLY difference between our two addresses is.....are you ready for this?...... There is a comma in mine between the street and the apartment, and not hers. She said she really doesn't think that is the issue. I, somehow, agree. So I gave her my phone numbers so they could have the "lady in charge of the returned cards" call me...... Oh the drama continues.....

And I thought I had trouble with Remanufactured Transmission. Compared to the FSA people, these guys look like Good Samaritans!

Spring

They say today is the first day of Spring. It's strange to live in Florida this time of year, since we've had our spring flowers for at least a month. We've got some beautiful azaleas (I think that's what they are) outside our office door, and every now and then I catch a whiff of orange blossom on the breeze.

Pretty flowers have inspired me to participate in Scalzi's Monday Photo Shoot for the first time in quite a while. He asked for signs of Spring, and boy am I delivering! Below I present Springtime in the Bahamas, as captured during our cruise two weeks ago...
photos taken on Disney's private Bahamian island, Castaway Cay, where it's always lush and beautiful.

Cherry Bombs

The muffins weren't bad. However, the little cherry surprise in the middle didn't add much flavor. In the future, I might have to add a little off that pie filling goo to the batter to make them super-tasty.

Of course, when is it likely that I'll have a box of muffin mix that's not pre-flavored again? The only reason I had it this time is because I used a can of blueberries to make (sour) pancakes!

Smoked Breakfast Breads

I'm about to wrap our oven with yellow caution tape, since it has become chokingly painful that neither Scott nor I should operate the dang thing.

**cough**

It all started a couple of days ago when Scott had a little breakfast incident involving an angel food cake pan and some sticky bun sauce that went amok. He smoked up the joint. In his defense, he was in the bathroom for most of the damage. I heard the drips sizzling in the bottom of the oven and never thought to grab a baking sheet to control the damage. We opened up all the windows, turned on the ceiling fan, and waited it out. It was really bad for the rest of the morning, but basically not noticeable when we got home from work.

Then tonight I felt compelled to make mmmmmuffins. Before I even started cooking, I called Scott to ask if the oven was safe. In a word, he said no. But he assured me I could either scrape out the gunk or spray oven cleaner and let it sit for 20 minutes. Who has 20 minutes when they're craving muffins? Not me! So I set out scraping the bottom of the oven. I used dry paper towels and my finger nails to get out the big chunks, and wet paper towels to wipe out the sticky mess that remained.

And then I turned the oven on. All the way up to 400. And I started mixing my muffins... and smelling smoke. But it wasn't too bad. I figured it would just need a minute or two to cook off whatever I missed. I apparently missed a lot, including the sticky mess on the actual oven racks. While I didn't have the big plumes of smoke Scott had, I once again found myself opening all the windows, turning on the ceiling fan, and joining the cats out on the balcony for some fresh air. What a mess!

Actually, I think that despite my misadventures in cooking, they may end up tasting ok: regular muffin mix with a spoonful of cherry pie filling in the middle. I'm calling them "cherry bombs" but if they suck, I'll just call them "smoke bombs" in honor of our apartment!

Pleasant Surprise

I thought that Blogger had eaten the entry below, since when I published it yesterday afternoon, there was some kind of "error" and all of my typing had disappeared. I was psyching myself up to rewrite the darn thing tonight, but it has appeared. Thank goodness, because I really didn't want to write a half-a$$ version of what I had written the first time.

It's an Irish miracle!

Warm Fuzzy

As most of you know, I got nominated for PIE at work. That's a pretty big deal. And while I'm thrilled to be nominated, I don't feel like this has been my most excellent year of work and I feel rather undeserving. Of course, I did see a list of others in my workplace who were nominated, and I didn't really think most of them did anything stellar either. But I digress.

Nominees are rated in the second step by their direct manager and by two others, one chosen by the manager and one chosen by the nominee. But since the manager and the nominee are expected to come up with a mutually acceptable list, I have had to come up with 4 names (2 plus 2 alternates) to list as my raters. And it's a lot of pressure. Like I said, I don't feel like I've done so excellently, so I feel it's a little like saying, "would you mind wasting your time thinking of nice things to say about me?"

Anyway, I approached one of the newer people (secretary/treasurer of the Jamie fan club haha) and asked if she'd mind if I used her. Before I even finished talking, she said of course she would. And then another lady at the table volunteered to rate me. And another! One of the ladies who has been there almost as long as I have said that I could probably ask half the people in the building and they'd be happy to help me out. Strangely enough, the first one who volunteered isn't necessarily someone I have a strong relationship with. But she said that I'm one of the only people at the help desk who doesn't talk down to her, and that she knows that when she gets me on the phone she'll get the answer to her question with minimal attitude. That's nice.

Maybe I'm a little bit excellent after all.

Z. Pig and the Weekend

Last night, Scott and I cleaned Zoe's cage and I put her back in before actually putting the cage part back on top or putting her chube and hat back in. You know... so I could get a picture and not give her anywhere to hide.

I'm such a rotten piggy mommy!

Anyway, I feel bad for not posting at all over my weekend, but there really wasn't anything worth devoting an entire entry to.

- grocery shopping at Wal Mart almost led to Scott going postal because the a-holes were out in force... with their children.
- had Chinese buffet for lunch with Chris & Cathi on Tuesday
- had mac n cheese for dinner on Tuesday, possibly the best I've ever made (added a sprinkle of parmesan to the top before baking)
- have finished 13 sheets (26 pages) of the cruise scrapbook. the book has a total of 40 sheets, and I'm hoping to use 20 on this vacation and 20 on our December vacation.
- got Harry Potter 1-4 on DVD from Columbia House, but haven't gotten to watch any yet. All of a sudden, we're over-run with DVDs... and have about 15 more than we have shelf space for. Time to rearrange!
- last night, Scott and I made lemon chicken, brown rice, and steamed asparagus for dinner with creme brulee for dessert. I was a little disappointed with the chicken, but it was an excellent meal overall.

and today, I return to work.

I'm Sorry

Scott has a sore throat.

He's pretty miserable.

Strange, though -- we both thought that I caught what I had from him. After all, he's been having sinus issues for... well... about 15 years ;-). Anyway, it looks like I gave him the worst illness ever.

But then where did I get it?

At least it's almost the weekend. 8 more hours, and then he can camp out on 1/3 of the couch for two days.

Ouch!

One of the ladies I work with got a call tonight that needed to be transferred to 911. It was for a cheerleader who broke her foot. I looked at her and asked, "you didn't laugh on the phone, did you?" which actually made her laugh. She never laughs.

It's official: Cheerleaders are almost universally loathed. (no offense, Janette! lol)

And so, we got to wondering how this young lady happened to break her foot at 1:30 in the morning at her hotel. Possibly by cheering? Funny... I thought that the finals of the competition ended tonight around 11 pm. Maybe she should've been in bed. Or participating in a nice quiet activity instead of doing back handsprings on the cement.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not glad that she got hurt. I don't wish pain and suffering on anyone. I'm not even saying that she got what she deserved. Maybe she fell out of bed and that's how she broke her foot.

I am, however, going to say flat-out that cheer chaperones are lacking in common sense. The chaperone in the room had one of the other children to call 911 rather than calling herself. Because a child is definitely the one most likely to be able to give the dispatcher the information needed during the call. Right?

gah!

I'm Not Lyin' - It's a Lion! (almost)

So umm... there really was a Florida panther out in that parking lot last night. The guy that got dispatched because of my phone call actually saw the thing. Honestly, this never happens. We always call with random, stupid things like "there's a lizard in my room" and by the time pest control gets out there, the monstrous creature has disappeared. So imagine my shock when I found out that it wasn't a bogus call after all. The guys and dolls at work were all pretty excited, too.

Disclaimer: We're not usually that easily excited. But the cheerleaders are in town... at this point, we'll cling to any interesting thought that doesn't involve a noise complaint or a prank phone call (I need my mom's room. last name O'Plasty, first name Angie)!

Craziness

Tonight around 10:30, I looked at my manager and declared that we needed a little excitement. She was most definitely not pleased with me... especially after I suggested we open a bottle of cleaning fluid (you know - so that we'd have to evacuate the building). She said I should sit quietly and NOT wish for excitement.

Fast-forward an hour...

One of our two automated wake-up systems crashed. This means that instead of people setting wake-ups themselves, they were transferred to our operators, who then had to set them in the computer. It's not really a difficult or time consuming process, but in one half hour we were forecast to have 350 calls and ended up with over 650. I had to page our on-call IT person, who was remarkably pleasant for someone who had obviously just been woken up. And 15 minutes after I realized there was a problem, it was fixed. Yay!

We got a call from a man who was angry that pizza delivery at his hotel wouldn't bring him alcohol. He was demanding to speak to the manager. It turns out he wanted the drinks delivered because the bar at the food court cut him off after only 8 drinks! We sent the manager and security.

Overflowing toilet in high-strung woman's room. Need I say more? OK... phone calls every 5 minutes until we sent the manager out to her. That's all I'll say.

And my final call of the night was to our pest control department: "please don't laugh at me - I'm only the messenger. a man says there's a mountain lion out near building 4 that reared up on its hind legs when he got off his motorcycle." To which the nice man replied, "let me guess - he was at Bike Week up in Daytona all day and he's been in the wild horse saloon all day?" In all honesty, it could've been a Florida panther. They have been known to pop up around here from time to time. But a mountain lion? C'mon people -- we're below sea level here!

The moral of the story, as my manager was so kind as to point out: be careful what you wish for!

Feeling Burdened?

Feeling burdened by all of your excess income?

OK... probably not...

Got $10 or maybe more to spare for a worthy cause?

Laura over at Adventures in Juggling is raising money for the March of Dimes Walk America in honor of her very own "1lb wonder," Daniel. I've been reading her blog for quite a while, and she is an amazing woman with five amazing kids. So I thought I'd pimp her blog and her cause in just this one little entry here.

So why not? Go ahead over and support Team Daniel.

Is It Possible?

I have found a medicine (courtesy of Matthew & Kristen's birthday gift to me) that tastes even worse than Robitussin:

green Nyquil.

It tastes like black licorice. And really, who wants that to be the taste that lingers in their mouth all night long?

ick! For all the effort it took not to gag while swallowing the 2 gallons (was it only two tablespoons? you could've fooled me!) I consumed, this stuff better work really well!

good night!(?)

American Idol Top 12

Well, I promised that there wouldn't be another AI post until today, when the Top 12 were announced. And I'm proud to say that I correctly predicted 5 of the 6 females and 4 of the 6 males that made it to the finals!

In the girls' category, I predicted that Ayla would make it to the top 6. Well, she made it to the top 7, and then was eliminated tonight. Taking her place in the finals is Melissa McGhee, a Tampa girl who is more talented than I first thought.

On the other side, I didn't do nearly as well with the male contestants (which I predicted). Jose was voted off last week, taking my perfect record with him. I was unsure whether Will or Gedeon deserved the last spot in the top 6. Oops - both of them were ousted tonight! In their places are Bucky Covington, the goofy looking country rocker with a twin brother named Rocky, and Kevin Covais, who looks a little like Chicken Little's dorky brother and sings like a kid in a school play. Kevin really doesn't belong in the top 12, and should be voted off next week, unless the people at votefortheworst.com have their say.

As for the ultimate winner, at this point I think that the competition is Chris's to lose. The guy is amazingly talented, has an awesome stage presence, and he's kinda cute. Although I'm not sure how a married man with 2 kids is going to win the hearts of the teeny boppers with speed dial over pretty-boy Ace or one of the young girls like Paris or Katharine. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Back to Normal

I'm returning to the real world today. Scott checked his schedule online last night and found out that he started today at 10. Good thing he looked - his normal schedule is 2pm! So he's already gone. I woke up early and paid some bills (I'm such a big fan of online bill payments!), and now I've got nothing to do for the next 4 hours except make something for lunch and dinner and take a shower.

Maybe I'll take a nap... after all, 1am is a long time away!

Hoop Dee Doo

Monday night, despite still being full from all the Cruise Food, Scott and I headed out to Ft. Wilderness to see Hoop Dee Doo with friends. What friends? Well, Dave, Chuck, Matthew and Kristen, and Beth and Brian all came out. What could be better than sitting down at a table of big eaters (understatement? perhaps) for all-you-can-eat fried chicken and ribs with all the fixin's and strawberry shortcake for dessert? A good time was had by all.

Today is my last day of vacation, and this cold still has me knocked on my @$$. My voice is coming back, although if I'm on the phone all day tomorrow I'm pretty sure it will be gone completely. I'm going to try to make it through today without a nap (hoping that the 10 hours of sleep I got last night will be enough!). Honestly, there was so much I wanted to accomplish before going back to work (web site maintenance, start the cruise scrapbook), and all I was able to do was watch TV and read.

I shall be grateful that I had this time off to recuperate and that I didn't have to miss work the past few days. I guess.

It's a Start

It took me all day yesterday and part of this morning to finish editing and labeling all of the cruise pictures. Between the computer having issues and my need to take a break every hour, it became a much longer process than I expected.

Janette, you were partly right. I did take a nap, and I did watch the Oscars, but I spent about 3 hours working on pictures before I did either of those.

Days One and Two of the cruise are now below. And it's time to stop. I need some tea and possibly a nap. I'm not promising to finish Day Three today, but I think it's probable.

...after the break.

...and I'm spent!

We're home. The cruise was great. And I think I have the flu. At the very least I have a very productive cough, no voice, and an inner ear issue. Last night I really wasn't sure if it was an inner ear thing or just the ship rocking. When I got home and stood in the living room and found the room moving around me, I kinda figured out that it was just me.

Anyway, I'm going to post some day-by-day entries in a little while once I've taken a look at the 100+ pictures I took (they'll show up below this entry).

Adventures in Cruising - Day Three

Castaway Cay

There are few places that I have visited that compare to Castaway Cay, Disney's private Bahamian island. From the white sand beaches to the beautiful clear water, family beach to adults-only area, snorkeling to barbecue for lunch, it's just unmatched.

I snorkeled for the first time this day. OMG - this was by far the highlight of the trip for me! At first, I thought I was going to hate it. As soon as I got my flippers on, I got tangled up in my own feet and fell flat on my butt. The first time I put the snorkel and mask on and stuck my face in the water, I immediately hyperventilated. I'm pretty claustrophobic, and I'm not the greatest swimmer, and I just thought, "this is not for me... I'm not swimming out away from the shore and drowning out there." But I finally got into water deep enough to swim, and was able to breathe in and out a few times in a row, and Scott and I set out on our own little adventure.

The snorkel lagoon was absolutely amazing. And I imagine that every year will make it even better as the coral takes over. There are tons of domes designed to grow coral and house fish, plus big stone vases, a giant stone Mickey statue, a small boat, and even one of the submarines from the old 20,000 Leagues ride at Disney World. I'm proud to say I swam all the way out the the sub. I'm still not sure how I made it out there, but it happened! We saw over 20 different types of fish, including a giant barracuda that threatened to eat me if I didn't swim away (ok, Scott says it was a grouper that happened to have its mouth open and that it wasn't a threatening posture at all). When we were out at the sub, the wind picked up and the waves kept smacking into my forehead, which freaked me out. It was time to swim back to shore.

After snorkeling, we went back to the adults-only area. The water was pretty cool, and the wind made getting in and out of the water unpleasant, so we sat on beach chairs and drank frozen things and basked in the absolute serenity.

Lunch on the island was delicious as always. Of course, snorkeling works up quite an appetite. Burgers, ribs, chicken, and all the fixin's were gobbled up by everyone.

Back on the ship, we enjoyed the final show, Disney Dreams. I really hope that the girl in the lead part was either sick with what I have or was an understudy, because she just wasn't that good. I still love the show, and was thrilled to see it again.

After the show, we were buying souvenirs and I struck up a conversation with the cashier. He asked where I worked, and I explained that I answer stupid questions for a living. He had some of his own to add to my collection: "which staircase goes up?" (answer: all of them) "what nationality wears a patch behind their ear?" (answer: that's a sea-sickness remedy, not a cultural thing!) "what time is the midnight buffet?" (no answer required).

It was during that conversation that I realized I didn't have much of a voice to speak of (or with). I was surprised, because my throat hadn't really hurt too badly since the first day and mostly I was having sinus trouble. By the time dinner rolled around, I had to have Scott order for me because I couldn't speak loudly enough to be heard over the dining room noise. Hot tea helped a bit, and I was able to squeak out "cheesecake" for myself for dessert!

This time around, I had the best dining experience the last night of the cruise at Animator's palette. I had great canneloni and butternut squash soup, and we had the best time playing around with our server JoJo and our assistant server Sean (seen here giving Scott "Mickey Ears" for the picture).

After dinner, Scott and I had to run back to our stateroom and get our bags packed. Then walked up on deck and contemplated how we could stay onboard for the next cruise (which is in Nassau today... without us). Of course, we didn't stow away. We got off the ship the next morning and came home as scheduled. As you can tell from the picture, I didn't get horribly sunburned this time. Yay! I got a little pink in patches on my face, and a few streaks on my shoulders and the back of one arm, which has to be some kind of record for me!

Adventures in Cruising - Day Two

Happy birthday to me... in Nassau!

We woke up as the ship was docking in Nassau. It was hard to sleep with the captain doing donuts in the water! After breakfast back up at the buffet, Scott and I headed to the pool. We were in the hot tub until I started to feel hard-boiled, and then got in the pool. Considering it was about 75 outside, the 80 degree pool water felt almost like bath water.

After showers and getting ready, we headed out to explore Nassau... for all of an hour. After all, how much "braid your hair, lady?" "need a taxi?" "want a carriage ride?" can two people handle? We returned to the ship to dump our cheap booze purchases back in the room, and then had lunch at Triton's (mmm... pumpkin soup...) before heading off to our glass bottom boat excursion.

The boat ride was fun, but I doubt I'd book it again. The first 25 minutes was a tour of Nassau Harbor, pointing out a lot of celebrity houses. We saw Oprah's, Michael Jordan's, Barry Bonds', a Saudi Prince's, etc. And after every lame joke in the script, the lady on the microphone would say "yeah mon," which I said for the rest of the cruise.

Out at the fish-viewing site, we were herded down to the bottom deck of the boat. They made a point of saying that this was a protected area and snorkeling, fishing, and littering were punishable by fines and jail time. I took about 30 pictures, and they all turned out like this. I've found that most fish look exactly the same from above.

We noticed that the fish were swimming back and forth from one side of the boat to another, and assumed that there were feeders underneath. It wasn't until we went back to the top deck that we noticed one of the boat staff throwing handfuls of Cheetos into the water. So let me get this straight: I'll get thrown in jail for swimming with these fish, but it's ok to feed them deep-fried cheese puffs? Riiight...

Back onboard the ship, I was looking forward to that night's stage show: The Golden Mickeys. This is the only show onboard that I haven't seen on previous cruises. Actually, it was pretty much just a Disney cartoon love-fest. The Golden Mickey is an award handed out in categories like "best female warrior in 13th century China." Lots of favorite Disney tunes made it really fun to watch. Oh yeah - and Tarzan. Tarzan made the show really fun to watch!

Dinner Friday night was in my favorite restaurant from previous cruises, Triton's. I had escargot, deep fried camembert, and four-cheese rigatoni, with creme brulee for dessert. And I was rather disappointed. The pasta had blue cheese in it. Who puts blue cheese in pasta?? And my creme brulee tasted great, but must've been sitting too long because the top wasn't crunchy any longer.

I did, however, get a special birthday dessert: I didn't eat it because the red stuff on top creeped me out a little bit. The best we can figure, it's a giant petit for. I know the picture is dark and blurry, but trust me - it was beautiful. The white on the top is a white chocolate scroll with the ship silk-screened on in dark chocolate. Oh yeah - and I now have a new "today is my birthday" button to add to my collection.

Despite the disappointments of the day, and the fact that my cold really sucked a lot of energy out of me, I proclaim 27th the Best Birthday Ever.

Adventures in Cruising - Day One

I barely slept at all the night before the cruise. Yes, I was excited, but I didn't sleep because I woke up every 20ish minutes to swallow. This sore throat came out of nowhere and totally caught me off guard. So when I got up, I took some tylenol, some cold medicine, a shot of Airborne, and we finished packing. After a quick stop at Wal Mart to buy some more cold medicine, we picked up Mike and Reyna and headed toward Port Canaveral.

We dropped off our luggage, checked in, and boarded without incident and headed up to the Beach Blanket Buffet on Deck 9 to start our 3-night food orgy. Just ask Scott how many shrimp he ate! After lunch, we went down and checked out our stateroom (which was even bigger than I thought it was going to be) and Mike & Reyna's stateroom (normal size, but with a lovely verandah). Reyna had sent a bottle of champagne and tray of sweets to our room, and that was waiting for us when we arrived. We got our luggage, unpacked our clothes that needed to be hung up, and went back up to Deck 9 for the farewell party.

Actually, we walked through the deck party to go up to the bow of the ship to watch the horizon. We only stopped to pick up the colada/daquari swirl drink in souvenir cups. As you can tell from the picture, it was incredibly windy! I definitely prefer wind to hot and humid.

After the deck party, it was time for the first stage show of the cruise - Hercules: the Muse-ical. The reason I love this show so much is because it doesn't take itself seriously. There's also a lot of pop culture humor injected. This time, Pain and Panic broke out singing "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me" at one point, and Hades made a crack about them being talentless like Jessica Simpson.

I was pretty thrilled with our dining rotation this cruise because my least favorite restaurant was the first night. Parrot Cay ended up being a lot better than I remembered it. I got a grilled sirloin, Scott got the rib eye, and they had creme brulee cheesecake for dessert. Guess what I had. ;-) We actually had 9 people at our table - aside from our foursome, there was a family of 9 blonde people from Iowa. They were nice, but we mostly spent time in our respective groups.

We closed the night exploring the ship and walking out on the deck. We got back to our stateroom to find a towel bunny left by Rudy our housekeeper at turndown. Ultimately, I was super tired and ended up going to sleep around midnight. As you'll see, exhaustion was pretty much my theme for the vacation!

Obnoxious

Would it be completely obnoxious to throw in a "this time tomorrow..." post? Actually, truth be told, this time tomorrow won't be all that dramatic. I'll be squished in the back seat of Scott's car driving down 528 towards the Atlantic... looking forward to the immediate future.

We are just about totally packed now. All that's left (I believe) are toiletries and a pair of my khaki pants that lost a button in the washer and need to be repaired. Scott's suitcase is actually fuller than mine. I'm not really sure how that happened, though I suspect the very large pair of dressy shoes may have something to do with it. And the undershirts. And his undies are bigger than mine.

I'm babysitting this afternoon for the munchkin trio. And Scott is going down to spend quality time with his mom. I'm rather glad we're getting to spend some time apart before we get on the ship. It definitely lessens the chance that I'll kill him and throw him overboard. ;-)


disclaimer: I am not going to kill my husband and throw him overboard. Just like he's not going to kill me when I'm pregnant.

The Cage: A Haiku

Tuesday, cleaning day
Zoe Pig gets a clean cage
and then dirties it.
I guess that's the circle of life in captivity, huh? I feed the pig, the pig poops in the cage, I clean the cage, and then it starts all over again.

'City Slickers' Moment

I may have to watch City Slickers some time in the next two days. Why the sudden yearning for cowboy comedy? Well, you see, there's this great part of the movie where Mitch gets smart with Curly and gets off his horse to rope a cow. Curly whistles and the cow takes off, dragging Mitch behind her. And Mitch, flopping like a sport fish on a line, gets dragged away yelling,

"I'm on vacation!"

Luckily for me, my vacation doesn't involve cows. Just sun. Lots and lots of sun. Maybe I'd be better off at a dude ranch...

In non-vacation news, we had our new schedule bid today. Despite being one from the bottom of the seniority totem pole, I got the days off that I wanted and actually ended up with a slightly earlier line.

And did I mention that I won't have to set foot into that building until March 8? Life is sweet.

Never Nuke a Donut

Today I realized once again where I get my blonde-ness from -- my mom.

Scott bought a box of chocolate iced, cream filled Krispy Kreme donuts from Publix. Of course, we all know that you shouldn't buy Krispy Kremes unless you are at the Krispy Kreme location. Once they have been delivered to another store, they lose half of their taste. But I digress...

After lunch today, my mom grabbed one of these donuts out of the box, took a bite, decided it was a little stale and all it needed was a few micro-waves. So she put in the microwave (without so much as a paper towel underneath) and set the timer for 9 seconds.

Apparently 9 seconds was about 6 seconds too long.

The cream had melted and oozed out of the donut. Seeing that there was a puddle of cream under the donut, she decided that she needed to act fast - grab the donut and turn around to lean over the sink to eat it - and leave blobs of cream filling on the stove, the oven handle, and the floor before losing the rest of the filling into the sink and all over her hands. It took her longer to wash the ooey gooey mess off of herself than it took me to wipe down the microwave and stove.

Oh how I laughed!

And I shall never let her live this down.

Sassy Feet

My mommy came up today and took me out for a pedicure for my birthday...

... and now my feet are officially sassy!

The color, though it looks like ordinary fire engine red in the picture, is actually a dark pink with glitter. I should've gotten the original color I picked out, a hot pink, which would've looked super sassy with my flip flops, but I always second guess myself.

Anyway, now my feet feel all refreshed and energized. Sadly, I had to put hosiery over them and will be shortly slipping them into a pair of ordinary black flats to go to work. I just couldn't justify calling in, although the message would've been great...

"This is Jamie. I'm calling in sassy... I mean sick... for the next two days. My feet are just too fabulous for work shoes!"

Does This Mean I Have Bad Taste?

Columbia House sent me an offer I couldn't pass up: buy the two remaining selections I need to satisfy my commitment and get two free, plus free shipping. The movies that satisfy your commitment have to be $19.95 or above. That sounds like a lot, but if you play Columbia House right, it ends up being a great deal. You just need to buy when they do buy one get one free sales, or buy one get the rest of the order at half price sales. These add up.

but I digress

I went on the site and couldn't think of any modern movies I wanted, other than Rent. And since I recently discovered Scott's love for classic musicals (Guys & Dolls has been on AMC a lot recently. Scott likes the music, I like the younger hotter Marlon Brando!) I figured I would look through the musicals and see if there were any I wanted to own. And I found three, right off the bat -- Guys & Dolls, Singin' in the Rain, and Little Shop of Horrors. Unfortunately, all three were only $14.95. This didn't really help me with my commitment. So I searched through romance... suspense... family... and none of the movies I really wanted were $19.95. Some were only $9.95! Really - do I just have bad taste in movies or what!?!?

I ended up buying Rent and Goonies (which I had just gotten from NetFlix - it has a ton of special features), and got Singin' in the Rain and Little Shop of Horrors for free. And I am no longer beholden to Columbia House. Time to cancel my membership and then sign back up!

Sugar-Induced Musings

Toothpaste Taffy: all the flavor of Colgate without the annoying health benefits!

Is there anyone out there who likes the mint flavored saltwater taffy? They're totally marketing it as toothpaste flavor. Why else would it be white with blue stripes? It also tastes more like toothpaste than chewing gum.

On the bright side, the licorice taffy in the same box was green licorice. Which I love. Why would anyone eat black licorice when green is so much tastier?

I'm delirious... should really go to sleep. But first I leave you with this happy thought.

Zoe At Peace

The one treat that can lure Zoe Pig out of her chube long enough to take a picture is timothy hay. She loves it. My next trick will be taking a picture that's in focus!

Guest Blogger: Mr. ParkHopper

It is now almost March. Scott and I both signed up for an Flexible Spending Account (FSA) during health insurance sign-ups last fall. Basically here's the way an FSA is supposed to work: they take a fixed amount out of your pay every week pre-tax (in our case $10 each) and send you a pre-paid credit card (with $520 on it) to use on medical expenses including doctor visits, eyeglasses, dental things, bottles of tylenol, etc. When we hadn't gotten our cards by the beginning of February, Scott called and talked to a really nice lady who found out that our apartment # had been cut off and the cards were returned to the company. They got our address straightened out on both accounts, and about a week later, I got my card in the mail. Scott still has not gotten his. Below is his account of his phone call today, after being on hold for about 5 minutes:

They are telling me our address is too long, and that's why it didn't come. I told her, "well my wife's came without any problem." Oh, that was her card, and not yours... "Yes, I understand that, but what I am trying to tell you is that I did this the last time I called, and was told everything was taken care of. She got her card, I never got mine." Well, your address is too long, so I am putting your apartment number on a second line. "Oh, so that will take care of it, and I will get the card in 15 business days??" Yes sir. "okay, if this happens again, how do I get my money back from the program and cancel it?" Oh, you can't cancel sir. "SO! If I never receive the card, I am out 520 dollars?!" Oh no sir, you can submit claims! THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP, GOODBYE

So I just put a countdown on my office calendar for 15 days starting Monday. On March 20th, 00 day, I have a note that says "bet you still don't have an FSA card!"

Scott's advice: NEVER USE AN FSA!!!!

Longest Week Ever?

My mantra tonight was "think about next Thursday..." That's how I made it through. Thursdays are generally tough at work because not only is it my Monday, but we're also short-handed at the Help Desk.

Of course, things are pretty tight up at the desk right now. I feel rather bad for our management. There's A, who quit; B, on vacation through this Satuday; C, on bereavement leave until next Thursday; D, whose husband is in the hospital, ME, whose vacation starts Tuesday, and E, F, and G who are contemplating moving out of the Help Desk if they don't get a bid they like next week. *gulp* Keep in mind, we're a team of 15. That's a lot of drama for such a small group!

Anyway, by this time next week I'll probably be asleep (a sweet daquari-induced sleep), more than halfway to Nassau, and I'll be 27!

Of course, in order to get to this time next week, I'm going to have to work four more days (although calling in does sound more pleasant!), babysit on Saturday plus Tuesday and Wednesday, finish packing, and find a kitty/piggy sitter (hoping Beth will return the favor since I've been watching her place while she's been off gallivanting across the country getting married and stuff).

Time to turn those daydreams into real dreams.
Good night!

American Idol - Week One - Guys

It's much harder for me to predict which guys will do well. After all, I've grown up as a female vocalist, and my ear is much more trained to pick up on what's good vs. what's bad. That being said, I think that only two of the guys have any chance at all of making it to the final show. The other four? Just fillers.

* Elliott Yamin - Simon proclaimed his voice the best of any male ever on American Idol. He was good... but 'best ever?' I think Simon has forgotten my boy Anwar from AI4!
* Taylor Hicks is Scott's favorite. I think he's interesting, but I'm seriously convinced he has musical turret's. He'll make the top 12, but I doubt he'll make it much farther than that. C'mon - the guy has gray hair. It's American Idol, not Father Figure Idol!
* Jose "Sway" Penala picked an awkward song to start off with, but he's got confidence and a ghetto superstar vybe that carries him through to the next round.
* I had a hard time deciding between Will Makar and Gedeon McKinney for this spot, but I'm going with Will. Paula compared him to Bobby Brady, and I think she nailed him on the head. Ultimately, I think Will will be carried by the powerful voices of millions of teenage girls with cell phones and speed dial.

and the two I think have a real chance:

* Ace Young has an amazing voice. He picked a great song... and he's just gorgeous. He's part rugged-handsome, part pretty boy, and part natural superstar.
* Chris Daughtry did an amazing rendition of a Bon Jovi song tonight. It's not an easy feat, but the guy has a natural stage presence and a definite rocker vybe. I think Bo Bice's fan base will push Chris far into the competition.

Anyway, I'm not going to revise my predictions in any way, and probably won't devote another entire entry to Idol until the Top 12 start their performances. You're welcome. :o)

Ooh...Shiny!

I have long had a love affair with sparkly shoes. In high school, I made myself a pair of "magic acting shoes" for every play I was in. They were regular canvas sneakers, painted with silver glitter fabric paint, and accented with a different color for every play. I wore them to rehearsals, and always said that they helped me remember my lines.

Also in high school, Mom bought be a pair of kick-@$$ high heels that were sparkly black. I wore them for homecoming junior year, my senior solo, and to two formals in college.

Back in 2001, my roommate Cat and I bought coordinating sparkly flip flops at Wal Mart. Hers were purple and mine were blue, and they had glitter on the straps and straw bottoms. We both got out $3 worth out of the purchases because we wore them all the time.

Today, in continuing with that long and storied tradition, I bought myself a pair of sparkly flip flops for the cruise. I wanted them in blue, but they didn't come in my size (although judging by this picture, I probably could've fit into a 7-8). The sparkles on the straps are actually tiny "crystal" flowers. And they make my feet feel sassy! Of course, my feet will feel even sassier when I find some great bright pink nail polish and paint my toenails.

8 days to go!

Good for You - You Deserve It!

Scott and I love to watch Dirty Jobs on the Discovery Channel. The basic premise of the show is this: the host with rugged good looks goes around the country and finds out first-hand what it's like to do some of the nastiest jobs in the country. He's worked gutting fish, cleaning septic tanks, inseminating horses and pigs, and all sorts of other fun jobs. I love the show because it really makes me appreciate the fact that I don't have to do these jobs.

I thought about Dirty Jobs this morning when I found out that the 8 co-workers who split the $365 million Powerball jackpot worked in a meat processing plant. I say worked because only three of them showed up for work yesterday. These people are taking home about $22 million each. I guess that's enough to live on, especially if they invest wisely. At any rate, I'm not jealous. I'm happy for these people that they no longer have to handle dead pig.

And I'm glad I never had to handle dead pig!

Road Trip!

Somehow Scott and I slept until after noon today. This never happens. Maybe me or him, but not both of us! Anyway, we had a late start, but managed to squeeze in quite a full day in a few short hours.

Following lunch at Cracker Barrel, we drove down 192 all the way into ghetto Kissimmee. We were looking for a pet store. Why? My guinea pig bedding of choice isn't available at Wal Mart. This stuff doesn't have a smell, is super absorbent, and is softer than wood shavings or corn cob. Plus, it's what came in the starter kit, and I used that stock up today (weekly cage-cleaning day). I knew of a Pet Supermarket allll the way down in the shopping center across the street from my old shrink's office, but figured there MUST be one between here and there. There wasn't. And then Pet Supermarket didn't even carry what I wanted (but I did get a little bag of cotton fluff - her poo stuck to the fluff that came inside the Chube, so I threw it out)! We stopped at Target on the way home, and wouldn't you know, they had exactly what I was looking for - at only $4.99/bag. So I bought two bags. This ought to get me through at least a month!

After Target, Scott dropped me off at Fantastic Sam's and he went down the strip mall to the library. I got 1/2 to 1" of dead ends cut off -- Scott can't tell the difference, but it looks so much shorter to me! Plus I got shampooed - one of my greatest joys. When I win obscene money in the lottery, I'm going to get a full-time shampooist. Ahh... scalp massage...

Looking back, maybe it wasn't such a full day after all. But there was a two-hour American Idol to watch, cheese steaks for dinner (thanks, Scott!), and the trauma of cage cleaning (I cleaned the cage while Scott sweet talked Zoe... thanks again, Scott!). Plus we got some laundry done.

It looks like my babysitting services are going to be needed next Tuesday and possibly Wednesday, so Scott and I are going to do a little pre-vacation shopping tomorrow -- chapstick for me, ear plugs for Scott, sunscreen for both of us, and who knows what else?

Vacation: so close I can almost taste it!

American Idol - Week One - Girls

Well, we are at that time of year when Scott has all the computer time he wants on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, because my eyes are glued to the TV. It's American Idol's Season 5. It's too early to pick my winner, but I do want to go out on a limb to name my 6 picks for female finalists:

* Paris Bennett - the 17-year-old with the tiny sweet speaking voice, and HUGE singing genes. I worry that song selection may ultimately do her in (like Anwar from AI4), but her Midnight Train to Georgia tonight was spectacular.
* Kellie Pickler - she has humble roots (daddy in prison, raised by her grandfather) and southern charm, and she's got the Miss Congeniality award in the bag. Plus, she's the only one tonight who admitted being nervous. Likeability carries her into the top 6 girls.
* Lisa Tucker - the other 17-year-old the judges go ga ga for. She's like Whitney, before the drugs and wife-beating.
* Mandisa - she's got a big butt and an even bigger voice. And she's got enough pre-vote buzz to carry her into the finals.
* Who needs Idol? Not Ayla Brown! Besides having the coolest name in the competition, she's already got a scholarship to play basketball at Boston College.
* Katharine McPhee (no relation to Nanny) had a built-in voice coach growing up: her mother. Simon proclaimed hers the best performance of the night, and I'm sure she'll still be around for the finals.

I know that most of my readers don't care about Idol, and I thank you in advance for sticking with me through the deluge of posts to come over the next few months. Watch the show... then at least you'll know who I'm talking about!

ParkHopper OUT!

Wash Your Door, Lady?

Yesterday I was unloading the dishwasher (no, that's not the interesting part of the story!!) and heard a strange scratching at my door. So I went over and looked out the peephole and there was a little Puerto Rican man with a squirt bottle washing my door. Two thoughts immediately went through my mind:

1. Is the door locked? No. OK, lock it very quietly so he doesn't think I'm paranoid.
2. Is he employed by the apartment complex to be washing doors? Maybe I should call and find out...

All I could think of was those homeless people in cities who wash windshields at red lights. I thought this guy was going to wash my door and then knock and ask for a tip! I didn't bother calling the office, and he ultimately left without knocking. I was glad I locked the door when I did though, because he washed the doorknob a minute later and it jiggled a little bit and I totally would've freaked out if the door wasn't locked.

Bumper Sticker

...courtesy of my mom

I'd Rather Hunt With Dick Cheney
THAN
Ride With Ted Kennedy
This message has been brought to you by the three Republicans in the country with a sense of humor. We now return you to the Religious Right.

Leaving With a Bang

One of the other Help Desk girls walked into work today, stayed about 15 minutes, took a Release of Shift (left without permission), handed in her ID and quit. Apparently she and her husband have been planning to move back up north for a while. They sold their house and had a big check and they were in a big hurry to get it into a bank in Ohio. So they left. Anyway, only a few people knew that they were even selling the house, and no one expected her to just quit with no notice -- no card, no going away party, not even a goodbye e-mail. A very strange way to go!

Speaking of very strange, I had a guy call today saying that he booked with Car Rental Company A, even though Company B would've been cheaper, because they were "our" official rental car company. He reserved a 7-passenger minivan (by the way, he's driving this rental car from his home down here one-way... don't ask me why), but the company only had a station wagon. Because all of his luggage and their stroller wouldn't fit, he suggested that I comp. him a stroller for the 8 days he's here. I suggested he go to Wal Mart and buy a $10 umbrella stroller instead. He didn't really like that response too much, so I connected him to the front desk of the hotel he'll be staying at because he thought the $80 for stroller rental should be taken off of his room rate. I only hope the person at the front desk managed to hold in their laughter until the end of the phone call!

The only reason I was answering calls tonight at all is because one of our less competent managers switched my scheduled duties around. When I walked in today, she told me she moved me. Rather than ask why (I knew why... but the other managers at least ask for input before they screw with us), I rolled my eyes, said "ok," and went to get my headset. And then I called Scott and told him how pissed off I was. Had this manager been one of our night managers tonight, I would've taken an ROS after everyone else's lunches. But since she left at 5, I decided to stay. Really, it's not that I have a problem with authority. I have a problem with managers who need me to do all of my job and part of theirs because they just don't understand what's going on in the big bad world around them. She really doesn't have a feel for the operation, which shocks me because she's been there forever. Or maybe she just plays dumb to get others to bear the brunt of the work load.

Anyway, I should probably learn to hide my lack of respect a little better. But for now, I'm off to take some anti-cranky remedy (Tums and a glass of water) and go to bed.

A Package!

Last night, we came home to a UPS package slip on the door. Neither of us had bought anything online, and were really curious about what it could be. So Scott went down to the rental office this morning and picked it up -- it was our Cruise documents!

Why is this exciting? Because usually when you book the super-cheap rates, they don't tell you your stateroom in advance, and they make you print off your documents online (which I had already done... guess I can shred them!). So imagine my surprise when, for the first time, I got the actual cruise booklet, complete with luggage tags that show our room assignment!

The good news: we're on the 6th deck. This means we're above and below staterooms. Last time I went on a cruise with my mom, we were below the nightclub and stayed up at night playing Name That Tune through the ceiling.

The bad news: we're in a wheelchair accessible stateroom. This generally means there's a shower, but no bathtub. The only other real difference is that things are a little lower - towel bars, peep hole, etc - to accommodate someone in a wheelchair.

The good news about the wheelchair accessible stateroom: it's bigger! I can't tell from the little floorplan of the ship whether it's just the bathroom that's bigger, or whether it's the rest of the room as well. But it's definitely larger than the standard stateroom.

I'm so excited... I just can't wait to get onboard!

Best Year Ever?

I'm thinking about starting a new blog. Yeah - just what I needed, right? But this one might just be great for me. I think I need to create a new blog called Best Year Ever, and post something positive every day.

*gag* right?

My theory is that when I post negative things, I look back on them and remember negative things. What I write here is pretty much all I'm going to remember in a year or five or ten about my day to day life, so why not record only positive things? Plus, it would be quite a powerful exercise in positive thinking.

For example, if I were writing about the 17th of February, instead of starting out with "Mr. Undependable called in again today. We were short-handed and, as always, the overtime hog who doesn't actually like to *work* for her time-and-a-half stayed to 'help out,'" I would write, "We had a call-in tonight. Luckily, we had plenty of overtime help. Plus, I prefer staying busy... it makes the night go by so much faster!"

The truth, as always, lies somewhere in the middle.

Anyway, I'm mulling this one over. Any thoughts? I figured I would start it after my birthday... with back-dated posts that start on my birthday. (why? the cruise will be a completely internet-free vacation. we are cutting ourselves off from the world. unless there's an emergency, in which case you should feel free to call and pay the $15/minute phone bill!)

Oh yes, and on a completely unrelated note, we have named the little furball. Her name is Zoe Pig. Scott and I came up with Zoe separately within 12 hours of eachother, and it's really the first name we've agreed upon. I, however, keep calling her Piggy, so I decided to keep Pig as her middle name. I showed some of my co-workers her picture and told them, "she's a hamster now, but she'll grow up into a guinea pig." Of course, another girl I work with just had a baby and named her Zoey... so we're not going to tell her my rodent and her firstborn share the same name.

Laundry

With my husband working 7 days this week, I've had to pick up some of my own slack. Yesterday I cooked lunch (ok, I nuked noodles & sauce). Today I'm doing laundry and cooking lunch. It's just one load of lights, but it's nice to know that every now and then I can remember how to do something productive! The jury is still out on lunch - it may be another pack of noodles & sauce.

Scotty come home!

Piggy Madness

I had a formal request from Matthew for more pictures on the blog. Here ya go Matt -- a little baby love just for you!

She looks absolutely terrified in the picture, and she probably was. I had just finished changing her food dish and water bottle and she's not used to me swooping in and stealing her stuff.

In case you're wondering, she's sitting on top of the yellow fleece hat I put in her cage so she'd have something warm to snuggle with. She generally sleeps inside or under it, and it's so cute to see her little face poking out the side. And if I put fresh hay in the cage while she's in her hat, she moves the hat over and then you just see pieces of hay disappear underneath it.

Good news on the Chube front: she seems to like it. She's rearranging the fluff on the inside, and has found it a convenient hiding place when Scott or I invade her personal space. And if I can get a picture of her inside it, it will make a great addition to the (now re-titled) Pets in Boxes calendar I keep threatening people with.

Honesty Really IS the Best Policy!

Scott needs a suit -- or at the very least, a sportcoat -- for work this week. Don't ask me why - I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you. Of course, if you e-mail him, I'm sure he'll tell you. He found this out yesterday. I refused to spend Valentine's day at the mall, stressing with Scott over fashion. So we set out today when he got off from work to find a jacket.

"Everyone at work" recommended the Burlington Coat Factory, and told him that there was one at the Prime (formerly Bells) Outlets on I-Drive. So we went there. There was no BCF. So we called Reyna and asked her to look it up online, since she has a job with free time and internet access. The closest one was over by the Florida Mall. We went, and struck out. So we hit the mall. We started at Penney's (didn't I say I wasn't going back there again?) and struck out there. Then we went to Sears expecting to strike out again... you know... because it's Sears.

Imagine my shock when Scott found exactly what he was looking for! There, with angels singing and spotlight shining down, was the almost-perfect black jacket. "The" jacket didn't have a tag on it, and there were two types of jackets on the rack - one with tacky gold buttons priced at $99, and one like Scott's with black buttons for $145. We were really tempted to bring up "the" jacket and a $99 jacket to ring up, figuring they wouldn't notice the minor difference, but decided to play it honest. Imagine our shock when the cashier rang up the jacket with the tag that said $145 and the price was only $79! We laughed about our good fortune all the way out to the car. The sleeves on "the" jacket are about an inch too long, but it's good enough for right now. We may take it to the local dry cleaner and have the sleeves taken up later on... but it's us we're talking about... we'll probably forget!

We celebrated our good fortune with $11 worth of all-you-can-eat pizza and Sprites from CiCis, and then went home at watched Idol (my early picks - Paris and Kelly. Scott's pick - Tyler) and played with the nameless pig. She sat with Scott for about 20 minutes, but he was nervous that she was nervous, so I took her. She ate a piece of hay from me, and then pooped not 30 seconds later.

Speaking of the baby, I'm really not feeling like she's a Milli. I say the name, and it just doesn't fit. You just shouldn't name a baby you haven't met yet! I like Uma Sophie cuz then her initials are US - great for Olympic Spirit and for "us." Or maybe Valentine, but that's *so* cliche!

I bought her a Chube today. What's that? It's a glorified giant toilet paper roll with fluffy bedding inside. She can run through it, sleep in it, climb it, chew on it... it's an all purpose accessory! Or she can just stare suspiciously at it from underneath the fleece ski cap that I gave her before.

Kids!

Crisis Averted

I found my birth certificate folded inside a copy of our marriage license in a "hurricane proof" rubbermaid box in the bottom of our bedroom closet. I couldn't look there last night because Scott was already asleep. It was actually a pretty logical place to look - much more logical than the glove compartment of my car (which is where my baptism certificate is!).

On the bright side, while tearing apart the living room last night, I found a book I think I got for my birthday last year from Shirley or Janette. It looks amusing... can't figure out why I never read it... probably because it was still in the gift bag it came in. I also came across two expired Disney tickets, the memory card for my camera, and a handful of wedding cards.

Our storage bins really need to be cleaned out!

On the bright side, I think I can start packing now... or at least start planning.

Buyer's Remorse

OK, so I did some things without really thinking them through all the way.

It turns out that guinea pigs are social, and are happiest in pairs. I think (Milli/Uma/Sophie) is going to just have to be content as an only child for the moment though. She seems to be adjusting ok to her new home. She hasn't met the cats... and I think that can wait until she's more settled in.

Also, the "everything included" starter kit that I bought was missing the WATER BOTTLE of all things, and I had to make an emergency run to Wal Mart to buy one.

She and I are bonding. Or she's really cold in our apartment and sitting with me is the lesser of two evils. Or she's too afraid to try to get away from me. At any rate, she sat in my lap for over an hour while I watched TV. I'd pet her, she'd coo, and my heart would just melt! And when it was time for dinner, she climbed up my shirt trying to stay with me. She also pooped on me. She pooped a lot today!

And as for the cruise, I can't seem to find my birth certificate. And I'm not 100% sure I can get a copy within 15 days. I think the birth certificate is with the marriage certificates. If only I could remember where they were... Let's guess what Jamie will be rummaging for after she gets some sleep.

...if she gets some sleep.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have some baby-at-home pictures to show off. :o)

JoWHOie?

I admit, I should really be in bed. But Scott brought me a Coke with dinner tonight, and I didn't finish drinking it until almost 10pm. Yikes!

Anyway, I just found the coolest thing over on Scalzi's blog: the Johari Window! Here's the short version: I picked 6 adjectives that I think describe me. Then you go and select your own 6 adjectives to describe me (leave your real name or a made-up one -- I don't care). The result is a neat little chart broken up into what's known by me vs what's known by others.

Please go visit my Johari Window and tell me how wonderful I am!

List of Stuff

Happy Valentine's Day!
I came home from work tonight, and there were roses on our counter. Red ones. I didn't think you could actually get those in the month of February. Guess I was wrong! I went in the bedroom to kiss Scott hello, poked him, flopped on the bed, and kissed him on the cheek, but he never even twitched. That must mean these early shifts are finally starting to get to him. I guess I'll have to wait til he gets off work today to thank him.

It's a Girl!
I believe I have thus far failed to mention the new addition to our family. Since she's arriving tomorrow, and since I have pictures (already? sheesh...I must be good!), I thought now would be a good time to announce that we're getting a guinea pig.

She doesn't really have a name yet. Originally, I wanted it to be Milli because Millimeter went along so well with Miles and Kilometer, but I work with a Millie. She doesn't like me very much. So then I thought about other measurements of distance -- inch, foot, fathom, league, yard -- but none of those really match such a cute little thing. So what about a play on Milo and Kilo? There's Lilo...that's not such a bad name. Or maybe I should let Scott name her (I, of course, would still get veto power) since I named both the cats. If anyone has a suggestion, throw it out there. Like I said, she's coming home tomorrow and can't be the Nameless Wonder forever!

We're Going on a Cruise!
Wait...isn't this old news? No!!!! I got a super cut-rate discount cruise today that happens to be over my birthday - departing on the 2nd, returning early enough on the 5th to catch a nap before the Oscars. We already had the vacation time reserved, so we went for it. Of course, this means Scott's new TV is going to have to wait a few more months, but I'm so excited!!! Only 17 days!!! As of now, we still plan on taking the longer one (4 night -- the one next month is a 3 night) in December for our anniversary. My goal for the year was to get the heck out of Central Florida and by golly, we're doing it! If only I could remember where my birth certificate is...

And Finally...
Being here in Florida, not buried by 2 feet of snow, I try to not really say that it's cold. But when I left work tonight, there was a solid coating of permafrost (this was some thick frost!) over my entire car. I had to let it run with the vent on high heat, full-blast for five minutes before there was a big enough hole in the ice to see through to drive. No matter where you are, 30 degrees is cold. And when Florida gets that cold and the oranges freeze, who is going to supply the rest of the country with flu-easing orange juice? brrr

It Is Done

I have my car back. I paid them $535 (ouch), asked about the warranty (starts fresh as of today), asked about the radiator (doesn't need to be replaced, but I decide I want to do it, I should give them a call and they'll price it and do the work for me. lol), took the key, and drove away.

Eric says I should be good to 200,000 miles. I told him I'd be grateful to get to 70,000. Then of course, I'm back under warranty to 75... so I really shouldn't sell the car short!

Of course, I drove Scott's car over there, so it is now in their parking lot. Not to worry - he'll be able to pick it up on his way home this afternoon. Notice I didn't say 'tonight?' Must be nice to get off of work at 4pm. I'm sure he'd say "must be nice to not have to work until 4:30pm." Perception is everything!

Well, at least now I have my car and I'll be able to drive out to get ingredients to cook dinner tomorrow... and buy a card. It is, after all, a Hallmark holiday. What's on the menu? Wouldn't you like to know!

Wrong Filter

So I called the transmission guys back at 11:00. (you know, since the car was supposed to be ready "in an hour" from 8:00) Imagine my surprise when Mike said that they had the wrong filters, and they have to wait for the supplier to open on Monday to get the part. He actually said the car takes a "screwball" filter that even the auto parts store at the other end of the strip mall doesn't carry. This, of course, means that the car will not be ready until Monday. And since Scott is working at 7am on Monday, I don't even know when I'll be able to get it back.

I also asked Mike the all-important money question. He didn't know, but promised to have Eric call me back. Imagine my surprise when I came back from the store and actually had a message from Eric on my phone. The total for parts came to "$530, but I'll round it down to $500." Well thanks for your freakin' generosity!

I don't know if they did anything with the radiator or not. If they didn't (which I assume), then I still need to find a reputable mechanic to take a look at it. Apparently it's cracked somewhere. So in case anyone is keeping track, the total I've paid to these bozos in the past few months is currently $1902. After this $500, it'll be up to at least $2402, (more if the $500 doesn't include tax). I'm starting to wonder what a new transmission from the dealership would've cost in the first place. Keep in mind that I still need to get my brakes taken care of. I should probably take care of that this week on one of my days off.

Well...?

I called in sick from work yesterday. There's some wicked germs flying around (you know - like stomach flu), and since I had a host of other maladies, I figured I'd choke down lots of Airborne and spend the day relaxing. It worked. My stuffy nose and sore throat are much better. I'm ready to go back and conquer the world.

...right after I finish babysitting!

Scott called the transmission guys this morning around 8 and was told the car would be ready in an hour and that they'd call. I figure I'll give them until 10 before I call back myself.

In other news, Scott came home last night with a present for me that I've been looking for for months -- "Johnny in my Pocket" -- a 7" Captain Jack Sparrow action figure with removable hat, pistol, and rum bottle. hahaha! It's not sold on any Disney website, but I found it on ebay. He's sitting on top of the entertainment center where I can see him while watching TV. It totally made yesterday worthwhile.

That's all for now. Time for breakfast, shower, and harassing phone call. :o)

Weekend Assignment: Web Surfing!

Weekend Assignment #98: List the most useless website you have ever visited.
Honestly, if a website were completely useless, I doubt I'd go back. The site that I chose is the most useless one in my "Favorites" list:

kittenwar.com

The entire site is full of cute kittens. They show you two at a time, and you vote for which is the cutest. I actually have a picture on there, with a 59% win record.

That's it -- cute kittens. That's the entire site.

Extra Credit: Tell us all about why you can't stop going there.
I don't go there often, but when I do, it's usually for an hour or more. I just can't stop myself! It's also amazing to see what some pet owners classify as "cute."

The First of How Many Long Days?

Scott and I are looking at a 12-hour day today. He starts work 3 1/2 hours before I do, and that means I'm there 3 1/2 hours later than he is. Luckily for me, I may be able to start early... and if I can't I'll just go see a movie.

I think I'm over the whole "make the best of it" thing. All I really want is to get my car back. Oh yeah - and to have it work properly. Really, I don't mean to whine. I'm just really consumed by the whole predicament.

In other news, Scott and I went out and had dinner with Matthew and Kristen last night. It was so nice to see them. Well, nice to see him... and meet her. We were going to go mini golfing after we ate, but the golf people closed early. Probably because it was about 40 degrees outside! And I know it won't be another year before I see Matthew again - they are already confirmed to come out for my birthday. yay!

Head in the Clouds

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Show off a picture of some really interesting clouds. The only caveat: don't use pictures you've previously posted -- make them new, or at least new to the rest of us.

I wish this Photo Shoot had come up in the summer. Florida has the best clouds in the summer. However, it's been cool here the past few days and the clouds have been less than stellar. Yesterday, though, was cloudy and I got this shot waiting for the ferry boat to the Magic Kingdom.

Looks pretty ominous, doesn't it? It barely sprinkled, but it sure was cold and windy. And silly me - I wore a t-shirt and didn't carry a jacket!

Actually, we had a pretty great day of Park Hopping, despite all of the nonsense going on with my car and its "voided warranty." We started at MGM, with lunch at Prime Time (by the way mom, Mary and Lorraine say hi. you wouldn't even recognize Lorraine - she's lost half a person!), and then wandered around looking for places to take silly pictures.

"Chilled monkey brains" prop from Temple of Doom... and Scott "singin' in the rain"

We didn't ride any rides at MGM, but we did have fun. Maybe that's why we went over to MK. We actually did lots of rides at the Kingdom - it's that time of year when there's not really much of a wait for anything. We even rode Peter Pan's Flight. Oh yeah - and we had the fastest spinning teacup ever. Even Scott was dizzy.

It just goes to show - you can have fun even when the sky (and your mood) is gray... if you put your mind to it.

"The Warranty is Voided"

Excuse me? Did you say "voided?"

"Because the damage to the transmission was water damage, the warranty is voided. But I'm not going to charge you for the labor. And the parts shouldn't be too much. I'm hoping it's just the clutches that have gotten flaked away."

So I asked the burning question. What are the chances that you guys cracked the radiator when you put in my transmission? After all, there was no water in the transmission the first time I brought it in. And you guys messed up the interior of my car and weren't able to fix it.

And he said something that shocked me - not because I didn't believe it, but because I didn't think they would ever admit it: "We didn't do anything to the inside of your car. That must've been done by the kids who got into your car when it was out in the lot."

So he said when they pull the transmission out (today), they'll look at the radiator and see if it's cracked on the outside. If it is, "of course" the repairs will be on them. How freakin' noble!

Let's just hope this nightmare is almost over. He said he should have my baby back to me by Friday, which would be great since Scott is working days next week and that would've been a real mess.

So...straw poll... anyone out there think I should:
a) attempt to file a police report regarding the theft from and vandalism of my car sometime between October and December?
b) contact the BBB no matter what they make me pay this time around?

When WAS This Great Flood?

Well, when I WENT TO SEE ERIC because he didn't call me back this afternoon, he said he thinks that the water that had gotten in the transmission from this supposed cracked radiator must've done quite a bit of damage.

Based on what I told him, he says the clutch is probably shot and lord knows what else is corroded or otherwise damaged. He seemed awfully put out that he'd actually have to take the transmission out and check it all.

I guess this explains how they got the car back to me so quickly the last time. They found one problem and fixed it. They didn't really look very hard.

I wonder what they think I'm going to pay. In the original diagnostic of all of the transmission repairs that needed to be made. Water was never mentioned. If the radiator is cracked, I'm quite certain that they cracked it... possibly around the same time that they removed the center console of my car for no apparent reason.

So here's the game plan: I'm not thinking about the car at all until Wednesday. In fact, I'm going to turn my phone off and leave it at home. On Wednesday when I haven't heard anything, I'll call. I may rant. Sadly, as furious as I am, my job really has me conditioned to not raise my voice and to be polite no matter what. I have a feeling that Eric thinks I'm docile. He needs to stop pushing me around. And I may need to raise my voice.

But I'm not thinking about it for the next 36 hours. So don't ask.

Cat-in-the-Box, Irony Edition

Ever since Milo was a tiny kitten who liked to climb legs, I've wanted to get him one of those groovy cat trees. So when we were at Wal Mart tonight after work and I was depressed about my car, I decided that I needed some retail therapy.

Of course, it took about a minute after we got home to realize that retail therapy was not the way to go tonight.

Right off the bat, the cats were loving the individual pieces (treated with catnip). Milo was scratching at them, and Kilo went really batty. So Scott and I hurried to set it up and get them climbing.

The Cat Tree is missing at least one screw, but we set it up anyway.

lol

We succeeded in leaving a large, empty, catnip-scented box on the floor unattended.


And what about the cat tree?

The tree stands alone.

Did you really need to ask?




hahaha -- I made a haiku!

You CAN'T Be Serious

"We're a single car family."

This is quickly becoming The ParkHopper Family Motto. And it sucks.

On the way to babysit yesterday, I stopped at a 4-way stop. When it was my turn to go, I hit the gas (because, you know, that's supposed to make the car go) and the engine revved a lot, then went ka-chunk ka-chunk ka-chunk while hopping and giving me whiplash, and then finally caught and started going again.

The car got me to babysit, and then got me to work (although I rolled through every stop sign inbetween). And then Scott drove me home.

Because of my lack of car and the fact that Scott had to drive me home, I missed out on 4 hours of OT last night, and both of us have had to change schedules tonight so that we can carpool.

Angry is an understatement. Furious and scared to drive my own car? Yes. So upset that I was sobbing in front of two of my managers and another co-worker? That's right!

So I called the transmission guys just now (I've been up for about an hour, but decided to do some relaxing deep breathing before calling). I talked to Mike, who put me on hold, and then I talked to Eric, who couldn't have sounded less happy to hear from me. He said there were three other people in his face and that he'd call me back within a half hour. He's got until noon, and then I'm going to put my hair in a ponytail, steal Scott's car, and go yell in person. So here's what I'm thinking:

• I didn't call the BBB when I got my car back and the center console was all messed up and they were unable to fix the damage that they had done.
• I didn't make a police report about the stolen CDs and the vandalism to the inside of my car.
• I have paid a total of $1902 for repairs that have kept me on the road for about 60 days. That's $31/day. I think I could've gotten a long-term rental for less.
• I will give them one more chance to fix whatever it is that's wrong with my transmission. If the car gives me any more trouble, they need to give me that money back so that I can put it towards a new transmission from the dealership or towards a new car. That $1902 was paid to fix a problem that obviously hasn't been fixed, I consider that breach of contract and I want my money back.

I'm fairly confident that right now Eric is having some kind of "what do we do now?" conference with the bosses. Hopefully we'll all come to the same conclusion so that we can get on with our lives quickly and never have to see eachother again.

Annoying On Line

As I type this, there is a little box in the lower right corner of my AOL window. The box informs me that my virus protection software has been updated. OK... I get it! I've clicked the red X, I've clicked the "thank you now please leave me alone" button. And yet still the box remains.

I guess AOL really wants me to know that I'm protected.

Actually, I'm starting to get worried now. The box has disappeared and then reappeared twice now. Is this supposed to instill confidence?

The Quest for Pumpernickel

this is a copy of a post that Blogger ate. Let's try it again, shall we?


I signed up to bring spinach dip in a bread bowl to our Super Bowl party at work tomorrow. And today I actually remembered that fact so that I could make it today and let it mellow overnight. The dip is complete...and when I licked the fork, it tasted quite nice. I still need to find one crucial ingredient -- the bread bowl. I prefer pumpernickel, but if I go to Publix and they don't have any loaves that aren't pre-sliced, then I'll go with a sourdough-type.

....or I'll crack into the back-up box of Triscuits that I bought when I bought the other dip ingredients.

Stormy Weather

I woke up to a tremendous crash of thunder this morning - the kind that sets off car alarms. And then I went back to sleep. The pattern continued until noon when I finally got up, took some Tylenol for my monster headache, and got a bowl of granola to stop the Tylenol from eating my stomach lining.

Good morning!

It would be a great day to stay and home under a big comforter and watch movies. It's still all gray and rainy, chilly, and there's still the occasional thunder. Of course, I will have to get out and drive in this nastiness in a couple of hours. Have I mentioned that getting my brakes replaced is on the agenda for the weekend? It is time.

As you may have guessed, I have my car back. And it's driving ok. Yeah, just ok. It occasionally revs a little more than I'd like between gears, and I still plan to take it to AAMCO to have them tell me what's wrong with it that the other guys can't seem to figure out. But the brakes have to come first.

And the only other thing of note I'd like to mention is that we almost had to evacuate our office building last night. We had some third-rate carpet cleaners come in to deep clean, and they were using super-concentrated chemicals. And I work with a bunch of cry-babies. One girl puked. The rest had watery eyes, sore throats, and so on. So they had the fire department come with the air quality meter and tell us we were perfectly safe. Before they got there, I actually pulled the emergency preparedness tote box out of storage and started going over the checklist. The two managers on duty were the ones who generally expect the help desk to do their jobs on a *good* day, and I was determined to be prepared.

I think it's time to go enjoy the rainy day.

Really? So Soon?

Eric says my car is ready to be picked up.



I'll give you a moment to let the shock wear off.



He says that they flushed the transmission to get rid of all that water, and they installed a separate cooler for the transmission lines to run through so that they run independent of the radiator. The cooler costs $85, and I'm not sure whether he said they were charging me for that or not, but they're not charging me for the labor.

Frankly, it sounds like a whole lot of C.Y.A. to me. "Oops, we messed up something... let's make up a problem and then fix it for free." We're going to take the car to AAMCO or someplace similar and have them do the $20 diagnostic on the transmission, just to see if there's any other problems I should be aware of. But at least it sounds like I'll be able to drive the car there under its own power.

**fingers crossed** I'm going to pick up my baby!

Incredible Collection

Your Monday Photo Shoot: Take a snap of something in the house you're pretty sure other people aren't likely to have in their house. Pets and people are not included (we're pretty sure your pets and kids aren't in most other people's houses). For this photo shoot we're looking at things -- stange objects, curios, odd keepsakes and just generally weird stuff.

By far, the strangest thing I own is the Jefferson Davis decanter that I've used for countless other memes. But I haven't taken any new pictures in a while, so I decided to spotlight something different -- our assortment of Incredibles stuff:

There's a t-shirt, two happy meal toys, a backrest pillow, the DVD, the Playstation game, and a tin of school supplies (plus Milo...our incredible cat) pictured. What can I say? My incredible husband has really become attached to this stuff!

And on a completely unrelated note, I wanted to show off the new jacket I got today. The color didn't photograph well, but it's a spring green color washable suede jacket that I picked up at Target today on the clearance rack for $12.49. It's missing the bottom button, but came with a spare. I can't wait until our next casual day at work so that I can wear it with a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. It's so cute!

Auto Update

When I hadn't heard from the transmission guys by yesterday afternoon, I decided to go ahead and call them. I spoke with Eric.

Eric: Has your car been in a flood?
Me: umm...no.
Eric: OK - there was water in your transmission lines and we were wondering if that's where it came from.

Riiiight...a flood...that's it. He then went on to say that if I hadn't been flooded, it's likely a cracked radiator, because the water "couldn't be coming from anywhere else" and that they had the car up on the lift then, and he'd call me in the morning to let me know what was going on.

So I waited until 4:45 this afternoon before calling back. When I called at 4:45, I was told that I had to talk to Eric, who was on a road test. Tim said he'd have Eric call me back within 5 minutes. I called back at 5:15, only to have Eric tell me exactly what he told me yesterday. He said with some amount of certainty that the transmission wore out because of the water, which meant the radiator was broken. I get the impression that no one has even bothered to look at the radiator. He promised he'd call tomorrow morning around 9 once he's checked on the price of a radiator and called his bosses to make sure that he was correctly diagnosing the problem. He also gave me a ballpark figure of around $200.

Honestly, I just don't think that 62,000 miles is enough to warrant two crapped out transmissions and a broken radiator. And if I wake up tomorrow and haven't heard from them by noon, I may need to borrow Scott's car and drive over there for a little face time. Perhaps Eric has a bunch of cars of his own and doesn't understand the concept that I need my car, I need him to stop dicking around, and I need them to be accountable for whatever they screwed up the first time around that has caused me to come back so soon.

That being said, I'll gladly pay the $200 if it means I can have my car back by the end of the week. Scott and I aren't working the same shift, and not being able to stay past 1 am on overtime is ultimately going to lower my paycheck.