Bad Scott!

You don't have to buy 6 cans of green beans just because they are BOGO!

Eek!

(the sound made on a high G - which is ordinarily well within my range - after waiting 2 hours for my audition and maybe coming down with a cold)

The audition: it didn't go so well. At this point, I'm hoping that my participation last year and the part of the song I didn't screw up is enough to carry me through. I won't be surprised if I make it, but I wouldn't blame them if they didn't invite me back.

Nope...not modesty...honestly.

Keep your fingers crossed for me. I should hear in a week or two.

That Time of Year

Encore auditions start TODAY! I'll be going over on Monday evening for my 16-24 bars of torture. Anyway, just saw this video from the Orlando PBS station and thought I'd share. I seriously hope I'm not in the top corner again this year (if I make it, of course) - my right shoulder made it into the tape, but that's it!

Celebrity...ish

Earlier tonight, I was standing in the waiting area shared by The Restaurant and another restaurant chatting with Number Two (actually, dishing about how The Restaurant is like the "grown-up" table at Thanksgiving and the other restaurant is like the kids' table). As we were wrapping up our conversation, my focus was shifted to a family of four - two grown ups and two little girls - waiting for their table at the other restaurant. A man in a bright blue Mickey t-shirt (which is probably why my attention went there) walked past where the family was sitting, stopped dead in his tracks, and took two steps backward (no - didn't turn around - actually back-stepped).

blue shirt guy: You look just like Moderately Famous Writer
family guy: Nah...he's much better looking than I am.

At which point family man stood up and shook blue shirt guy's hand and said it was a pleasure to meet him. Blue shirt guy said something friendly back, walked away, and family guy went back to being the family guy. So yeah - I was 5 feet away from someone I aspire to be when I grow up: someone who writes funny stories about their life, has a mass audience, and makes money doing it!

It was pretty cool.

I was also pretty impressed about how that situation went down. Both men were, I think, the perfect amount of friendly. There was no pestering for autograph and also no aloof-celebrity-ness. It's how I'd like to imagine the day I meet any of my boyfriends... although I would be happy to sign an autograph for any of them!

Sadly, none of the managers of either restaurant knew who he was. It sucks being star-struck when no one around you is as impressed by the situation as you are. Oh well... it still tickled me to death!

3-0 Update

My 30th Birthday is 10 months from today.

In honor of the occasion, I wore some white cotton granny panties and plucked my chin hairs.

Par-tay!

Photo Safari

After almost 18 months, I finally managed to be in Animal Kingdom on a sunny day with my "new" camera. The result? LOTS of animal pictures. Here's some of my favorites:

Pop Quiz

One point to the first person who guesses what's in this take-out box.

Two points to the first person who guesses what restaurant provided said take-out. (of course, the art work was all mine)

All of My Political Eggs in One Post

...so you can skip right over it if you want!

On the way home from IKEA yesterday, we heard Jim Philips and all of his callers (it's so rare that they are all united on a single idea) ranting about this column from the Sentinel. In short, the members of the Florida Legislature don't pay anything towards their health insurance for themselves or their families.

After listening for the whole drive home, I too was incensed. And for once, I was so upset I actually said something! Here's most of the letter that I sent to my State Senator and my State Rep:

Every day recently, the local news has featured stories on multiple state and local public works that are going to be under-funded or shut down due to the lack of money in the state budget this year. And yet somehow you can justify not paying into your health insurance plan?

As a full-time employee of Company X, I have some of the most reasonable insurance going. Yet even I pay about $30 per week out of my paycheck, which covers insurance for only myself. [insert personal accounts of people I know of who don't have insurance here] Each of these people are Florida residents. Don't you care about them?

I find it morally reprehensible that you and your fellow State Senators do not have to pay for health insurance for yourselves and your families. Please consider changing that policy. A mere $100 per month per Senator and Representative could certainly fund necessary programs within the state, and can hardly be considered a hardship.

Today, I heard that $1 million was cut out of the state foster care budget, which has lead to an agency in Seminole County not having enough money left for one single adoption. I started thinking maybe I should e-mail my two new "friends" (who, by the way, are both republican... go figure!) every time I see one of these stories on the news. You know - "Hey Paula/Hugh - Just thought I'd let you know about yet another group of Florida Residents who have had to suffer while you continue to enjoy your free health care. Kisses, J-Mo"

As for the national political theater, here's a commercial for my candidate of choice. I wonder what it's like to live in a country where your President gives you hope for the future, and whose speeches give you goose bumps.

IKEA Ideas

Yesterday Scott and I ventured out to IKEA in search of two things that we saw last time we were there. (and of course, so that I could sit in all of the orange furniture. how much is too much orange? maybe this much!)

We ended up not getting either of the items we set out for (still haven't decided on "art" for our bathroom - we're torn between the frog in the flower and the big orange flower), but we did revolutionize our kitchen pantry.

OK, we didn't quite revolutionize it... but we took a step. Our pantry has been over-crowded and pretty much disastrous for years now, and I was pretty inspired by the kitchen set-ups with cabinet shelves that slide out for easy access.

And then we found Antonius. It's an extremely cheap version of what I was hoping to accomplish in the open section of the pantry. We spent a mere $50 for this frame and all of the sliding baskets, and this unit fit about 90% of what was in the pantry and on the kitchen floor. We then moved the stuff we use often (Gladware containers, garbage bags, cat food) into the pantry so that we wouldn't have to move the trash can or the new shelves (which are on wheels).

The ultimate goal is to clean out the pantry on the left so that we can move the junk in the closet on the right into there. Then Antonius can fit into the closet and won't be there in plain sight. Of course, Milo has taken to laying under the bottom shelf. We all know he loves to be places he thinks he shouldn't be, and this certainly fits that criteria!

Cleaning out the pantry did bring one strange situation to light: the 5 cans of green beans Scott is hoarding. Apparently with the price of rice and grains going up, he figures it'll only be a matter of time until green beans are also out of reach. And when that happens, we'll be prepared!

Janette Help!!

Please talk numbers to me and tell me that H.R.C. still can't win the nomination...

I'm having trouble finding anything Obama-related that isn't about Reverend NutJob and I'm thinking if they don't muzzle this man he's not only going to scare away the undecided democrats, he's also going to give the republicans and independents a reason to not vote for Obama.

Thankfully, I still have Jon Stewart to get me through these tough times! (the link goes to the video in case it doesn't embed properly)

Reality Sure Is Tough To Look At!

I have crow's feet. Is that what you call the zillion wrinkles accentuating the bags under my eyes? Well whatever they are, I have them. I also have a crooked smile, but I'd like to chalk that up to it being my fake smile-for-the-camera smile.

I took this picture because this is how my hair looks every day when I blow-dry it. I do the bottom layers first to curl them under, and then do the top. As you can tell, the layers really prefer to turn out anyway. But every day I think this messy twisted-up half ponytail is a fun look, and maybe I should just leave it that way.

I think this picture has cured me of that little delusion!

Note From the Editor:

I would like to thank "all" of my commenters for coming out today and catching up on the past few entries.

And yes Janette, it is developing into a nice purple. Here's an updated view:

Sadly, bathroom mirror self portraits aren't my strong suit. If I remember tomorrow, I'll go out in the sunlight and have Scott take some that won't need the flash.

Vacation, Here I Come!

I officially got my shifts covered. Scott's vacation time was approved. That means we're going on vacation!

Sadly, NYC was scrapped for something a little closer to home. I'm proud of us for not just catching a short Caribbean cruise just for the sake of cruising. Nope... not us... the intrepid travelers. We're going to explore the far-off, exotic city of Atlanta!

(Hey man - they have whale sharks, Anderson Cooper, and Coke! That's plenty to keep us occupied during our three days!)

I've been window shopping for hotels for the last week or so, and found something intriguing on Hotwire.com (did anyone else just sing their little jingle: "h-o-t-w-i-r-e hotwire dot com?" I do every time I type the address!): a 4-star hotel in downtown Atlanta for $95/night. Really? Four stars? Hotwire doesn't tell you what hotel you are booking until you pay them their money. But they guarantee the amenities and some other hotel basics. It seemed like a good idea to me.

By the time I got around to booking, the price had gone up a bit, but still cheaper than anything 3 or 4 star on any other travel site. So we booked, keeping fingers crossed that we didn't end up getting something totally lame.

Oh. WOW.

This is where we're staying. The more I read on their site, the more I fell in love. First: orange accents in the rooms. Orange! My signature color! A rain flow shower head! A "peek-a-boo" window in the shower so you can see the plasma TV from there! (I don't understand it either, but it's cool!) Amenities from H20+ (the same company who now supplies Disney Cruise Line with their soaps and stuff... I covet their body butter!)! A rooftop lounge! 400 TC sheets!

Of course, now I just wonder if we're going to get there and the concierge is going to tell us we're not cool enough to stay there. But we're not worried. It's going to be great.

Woo hoo! Vacation!

Gas

I originally took this picture on Sunday the 20th. I was on my way home from work and had to stop for gas and couldn't believe what I was paying. The silver linings?

a) My little car gets kick-@$$ gas mileage and this tank will take me about 300 miles.

b) My daily round trip is only around 30 miles

c) Since Scott hates my car, we primarily use his on the weekends

That means this tank of gas will last me about 2 weeks.

Unfortunately, gas at the very same station is now $3.53 - up two cents from the day before. By my next fill-up, I'm guessing I'll be paying $3.60. Anyone else want to take a guess? $5 for the winner...which will probably still be enough for a gallon of gas by the time you get your prize!

If You Squint and Turn Your Head Just So...

Interesting picture, no?

Who wouldn't love a picture of my camera, the back side of one arm, and my forehead with my beautiful orange shower curtain in the background?

So can you see what the focus of the picture was supposed to be?

About an inch above and to the right of the flash on the camera, there's a colorful red and purple line on my arm. That line represents possibly the strangest workplace injury I've ever gotten.

It's not a scratch, by the way, it's a very long bruise. It's also deep - I can feel it when I type letters far away from the jkl; - seriously.

So back to the wound. I got it from just being stupid. I was talking to Number Two and sat (ok, it was really more of a flop) down in my chair. But the chair was pushed back further than I was expecting it to be and my arm rammed down onto the manual feed tray of the printer that's right behind my desk. (you can see the printer - with the tray smartly kept in the upright position - in this file photo from the day the new office furniture came in) I hit the tray with so much force that I was pretty shocked it didn't just break off. Unfortunately, the back of my arm absorbed all of that energy instead.

About an hour before I left work, I saw the full extent in the bathroom mirror. Up until that point, I thought it was a little scrape and a goose egg. Somehow seeing the "giant gash that's got to be 6 or 8 inches long" (which is what I told Scott) made it hurt even worse. It was also a weird combination of pure white surrounded by angry pink that freaked me out. Now that it's pink and purple, I'm more sure that the arm won't need to be amputated!

Over the next few days, I'll keep an eye on it. I reserve the right to take more weird photos if the bruise turns any interesting colors, or spreads across more surface area. Also, I plan to be pretty diligent about keeping that tray in its upright and locked position when not in use.

Pictures

There's an incredibly violent war being waged between my stomach and its contents. I think it's food poisoning, but Scott disagrees. At any rate, I'm not really much for words right now, so here's some random assorted photos...

1 2 and 3 are (obviously) a pair of sand hill cranes in the 7-11 parking lot. It made me sad because you could tell from their behavior that they are used to being fed by people. And I don't think they sell bird food in the 7-11.

4 is Mom and Joanne at the sponge docks. OK, at the shoppes (if you saw them, you'd spell it that way too) at the sponge docks.

5 is Milo's monkey, which mysteriously appeared nestled in one of Scott's shoes last week. You never see Milo with the monkey, but it's never in the same place twice!

Untitled because all I want to say is a string of profanity

I am incredibly disappointed - maybe angry - maybe even furious right now. I'm mad at my state government. I'm mad at the US government. I'm mad at foreign governments. I'm mad at the politicians, the media, the gas companies, and even some people I know personally (but this isn't the proper forum for the latter).

Why am I mad? Let's take a little journey through various current events. That should shed some light.

Let's start with John McCain. I figure since I'm an Obama supporter, no one will really take my opinions on his likely November opponent very seriously and it's best to just get it over with. This is why I'm mad at John McCain:

“Barack Obama's foreign policy plans have even won him praise from Hamas leaders,” writes McCain deputy campaign manager Christian Ferry. “Ahmed Yousef, chief political adviser to the Hamas Prime Minister said, ‘We like Mr. Obama and we hope he will win the election. He has a vision to change America.’”

Apparently McCain's campaign is already in crisis mode, and needed to start slinging the mud early. So much for a clean campaign!

Since we're talking about our enemies, let's jump over to Iran, where President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad says oil priced at $115 a barrel is too low. Wow. So yeah, I'm mad at him, but it's really amazing how short-sighted the leaders of this country have been for the past 30 or so years. One would think that after the gas crisis in the 1970's, we would have made finding an alternative energy source (or an alternative engine) a major priority. Here we are again 30 years later, consuming more gas than ever, dependent on our sworn enemies for our livelihood.

Who let that happen?

So in addition to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, I'm also angry at every president from Carter to Bush II. I'm also angry at every Senator (except John Glenn - because he was an astronaut and that buys him immunity) who has served in the past 30 years. Why not the House of Representatives? Well I'm mad at them for something else entirely:

NOTE: The next section comes from an Orlando Sentinel Editorial (which I disagree with). I couldn't find an actual news article to go along with it. Even entering the phrase "Haiti debt relief" into the cnn.com search bar does not bring up the story. And for that reason, I'm angry at the media.

The U.S. House made a compassionate and smart move last week in voting to speed up desperately needed debt relief to Haiti.

A sharp rise in food prices worldwide has deepened hunger, provoked riots and shaken the government in Haiti, the hemisphere's poorest country.

The relief for Haiti, added to a broader measure by South Florida Democrat Alcee Hastings, would let the country divert more of its meager revenues from loan repayments to feeding its people.Without help, Haiti could fall back into chaos and create a humanitarian and security burden on the U.S. doorstep.

The entire relief measure, aiding two dozen countries, would cost each American about $2. Now the Senate and the president need to follow the House's lead.

I'd rather have the $2. Quite frankly, if Haiti isn't willing to take care of itself, and is going to continue to need us to bail it out again and again, then maybe they should find another country to mooch off of. Give them the fish and they'll eat for a day. Teach them to fish, and maybe some day we'll get our money back!

As if I needed another reason to be counting the days until GWB gets booted back to Crawford, he's just decided to give $200 million to hungry people in other countries. You know what? We're not the biggest, richest country on the block any more. Why are we still bailing out everyone else while our economy implodes? The dollar is so weak against foreign currencies that our $200 million really doesn't mean that much in the grand scheme of things. The UN says they need about $500 million. So why not get $50 million from 10 countries? C'mon... that's how much Barack Obama has in his war chest right now. SURELY there's someone else out there who can shoulder the bulk of this burden. I'm pretty sure I could find plenty of hungry people right here in this country who could use that $200 million as well.

Here in Florida, it seems all of the state-run and state-funded agencies are going to have less money in their budgets next year. Why? Because the selfish A-hole home owners in the state all followed Charlie Crist's example and voted "yes on one" in January. (yep...I voted no... and I said at the time that this was going to happen...and Janette even agreed with me - in retrospect, a sure sign of the apocalypse!) So I'm angry at the majority of Floridian voters.

I'm also angry at our state legislature, who has recently decided that rather that attempt to come up with a state budget that makes sense, they are going to debate whether it's obscene to hang metal bull's balls on the back of your pick-up truck. Take heart, children of Florida. Perhaps the $60 fine for dangling fake testes will cover your education expenses, or the repairs of the roads you use to get to school, or the police, fire, and other emergency services that keep you safe. It's certainly not going to be property tax paying for those things. Home owners just don't care about you.

I am bitterly disappointed in everyone I have ever voted for who has a part in this ridiculous charade of government "for the people." I wish I didn't have to search for un-linked-to stories about where our tax money is going. Those things should be up front on every newspaper and news web site. Hold our law makers accountable for how they spend our tax money. Scott and I paid $6,444 in taxes for 2007. We live responsibly, within our means, and we expect our government to do the same. I want to know how MY tax money is being spent. I want someone to look me in the eye and tell me that $2 went to Haiti, and $x went to support our troops who are in the middle of a civil war caused by our invasion of a sovereign nation, and $y went to subsidies for farmers growing corn for ethanol instead of food. And damnit, I want someone to apologize for being so damned irresponsible. And then I want someone to step up and fix it.

I'm not smart enough, educated enough, or informed enough to do it myself. But I care, which I think is probably more than we can say for most of the people running our country.

Delta Force

On Thursday, Number Two was unpacking some new and exciting additions to our Cordial List - mostly ports way older than I am. He pulled out a bottle and showed it to me. He was marveling that it was tiny - 3/4 the size of a regular wine bottle - and trying to do the mental math on what we would be charging for a glass ($110 for 3 oz.). I saw the label and had to ask, "We're selling a port called Delta Force?" That didn't seem too classy to me!

So Number Two laughed and started humming the theme to Delta Force (which sounded an awful lot like the A-Team theme...). I made the joke that Scott would probably buy it based on the name alone.

When I repeated the story to Scott, he agreed until he heard the price, and then asked if the label had a picture of Chuck Norris with a knife in his teeth. I told him the bottle was from 1944, so no picture.

Over Thursday and Friday, I had conversations with multiple people about the Delta Force port. Mostly, the conversations were just passing musings with the servers - things like, "let me know if you sell any Delta Force!" And Number Two and I continued the Chuck Norris jokes.

This afternoon, The Boss asked me to print up the new cordial lists. Imagine my dismay when I saw DeLa Force on there!

Sorry, couldn't find a 1944 label image... but the logo looks just the same!

I'm not sure how many people there think I'm "extra special" now. I certainly feel like I've made a great case for the late-twenties onset of any number of learning disabilities!

Baby Eel

Where do you go to have one-on-one time with a live baby eel?

Well, tonight, the answer was simply, "Jamie's desk."

The Boss brought this little dude (you do see it, right? it's wrapped around my finger. the head is close to my nail - you can see the big ol' eye) into the office, and once he convinced me that it wasn't some sort of vermin pulled from a freshly washed bunch of greens, I was sort of taken with the little guy.

I'm not sure whether these Spanish eels are about to become a menu item or whether the Chef is just experimenting, but he served them to a VIP tonight - a glass bowl with water and some live eels used as a pedestal for a small plate of fried "Madusa" clumps of eels. I'm sure it made for a fascinating presentation, but after bonding with this little guy tonight, I think I would probably pass. This takes eating fish next to the window at Coral Reef to a whole 'nother level that I'm not 100% comfortable with.

Just after I took this picture, my little friend died. He was already pretty dried out when The Boss brought him in to me. While on my finger, he opened his mouth up, closed it, and then didn't move again. And I put him on a piece of scrap paper and threw him away... and then went and scrubbed my hands with soap and water.

Personally, I think I would prefer a death of asphyxiation to being dropped in a pot of boiling oil. Sure, it might take a little longer, but maybe it hurts a little less.

I didn't mean for this to be so morbid and sad. I just wanted to share my really cool picture. Oh well... I guess that's just the mood I'm in tonight. Sorry.

Visited

The Restaurant was visited last night. By whom? By the mysterious raters who control our fate in certain travel company guide books and websites.

Oh, what I wouldn't have given for a Valium or an elephant tranquilizer to take the edge off The Boss. He was a mess!

We're pretty sure it was them, but won't know officially for another week or so. Please please please let it have been them...

Happy Money Dance*

Well, my 4.5% raise kicks in on this week's pay check.

Even better than that is the fact that it seems attempt #4 to get the garnishment removed from my check was successful. That's an extra 10% as well.

How to spend the money? I'm thinking 401K, stock, and savings... though I did dream last night that we booked a 7-day cruise.

* The Happy Money Dance lasts only until Scott leaves for work and I have to finish filing our taxes. I hope there's enough in savings to cover it!

For the Love of Milo

A quick check of the archives shows that it has been 10 days since my last gratuitous Milo post. I hope this post makes up for it!

It all started with a sunbeam...

Milo was stretched out across the living room floor this morning just enough so that his front and back feet were at the edges of the sunbeam. By the time Scott and I realized it, the beam had shifted down a little bit. I imagine when he fell asleep, even his tail was in the warm spot!

(photo credit: Scott)

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I dig this black &

white picture because it looks like Milo is doing the sensible thing and keeping his face in the shade while he sunbathes. No way he's going to look like a saddle bag with eyes when he's 14!

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Coming in 2009: The Cats on Boxes calendar!

No... not really. I really am just fascinated by Milo's love of boxes. His face and posture here really seem to say, "I'm in the box. Don't question me!"

Most boxes he has been exposed to would collapse if he climbed on top, but since this box is still full (obviously we are failing in our attempts to "organize-it"), it simply acted as a pedestal.

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And finally, we have Milo's complete breakfast: apple-cinnamon oatmeal and a shot of Airborne! I got up to put the camera back, and Milo immediately jumped into my spot on the couch.

"But Mom... you know I like peaches and cream. I don't like this kind!"

Not only does he have my place on the couch AND my breakfast held hostage, he also has the remote control, the throw, and the pillow. He's pretty much set for the day!

Car Bling

I have often fantasized about getting one of those scrolling LED message boards for my dashboard. I wanted to make it say "55 MPH" and have it in mirror writing so that the idiot tourists (darn Canadians) will know that the speed limit on Avalon is not, in fact, 35-45 MPH.

We recently saw such a product in Target, actually designed for cars, but it didn't seem to have a backwards text option. And in that case, what's really the point? I could put it on the back window, but I don't really care how slowly the people behind me are driving!

Last night on my way home from work, I was driving behind a car with one of these (in red... but the car was blue, so this one would have looked much better!). The message he chose to display? "I HATE HUMAN POPULATION." I called Scott to tell him about my find and we had a good laugh over the message.

Really? You're going to pay $30 to put that message on the back of your car? I can see the traditional "mean people suck" or a nice personal "I hate ," but to just write off the entire human race in one poorly phrased message to the world? Seems a little harsh to me!

If I had one of these, and that's not a hint - apparently they have to be wired into the car and I don't have that kind of know-how, I think I would make it say something friendly like, "hello car behind me," or "thanks for reading my message." I'm sure my mother would go with "Jesus loves you," but that's only going to make people say mean things about Jesus when she's driving slowly in front of them!

What would you choose to display to the world?

72!

72 WPM!

I'm a typing rock star!

…and I also got a 23 out of 25 on the grammar test.

Hurdle #1 cleared. Up next: updating the resume, finding a job, applying for the job, and interviewing. I wish I could just do this step over and over again!

Test Me, Baby!

My typing/grammar tests are this morning. I'm not really worried about passing, but I am worried about making it down 192 in a timely manner. I've budgeted 1 hour for a trip that should only take 25 minutes... hoping that's enough time.

Wish me luck!

TomTom

Nope... I haven't gotten a super-cool navigation system. I did, however, get to spend part of today with "Professor Tom," one of the few CHS '96 people I'm still in touch with. We started with brunch at Garden Grill. OK, catfish and flank steak isn't really brunch. But when it's the first meal you've eaten, and it's only 11 am, you still call it that!

Above is our traditional Jamie-Tom-Photo-of-the-Year (last year's photo can be seen here). After lunch, we walked the World Showcase. And believe it or not, I was actually able to get multiple photos this year.

At the very bottom are green-screen photos that Scott and I took at Innoventions and Spaceship Earth. They are comically bad, thus their inclusion here!

Enjoy!

Flower & Garden

It's that time of year, when I take off to Epcot armed with my camera and take a ton of pictures during the Flower & Garden Festival. I'm quite excited about some of the pictures I took - mostly of the new topiaries this year, but of course with some butterflies and orange flowers thrown in!

Chop!

Guess who got a hair cut today!

Please note: I didn't even attempt to do my hair for this picture. That's why there's a big bump on the top of my head. So far I'm loving it. I forgot how much fun having short hair can be!

...though I should stop doing that side-to-side head shake. I think I'm getting whiplash!

Just So You Know I Don't Hate Her...

Perhaps you've heard that Senator Clinton has once again been caught with her pants on fire. This time, repeating a story she heard from a deputy sheriff sitting on the couch in a mobile home in Ohio (not exactly a vetted source).

Yes, I think she's imploding, and it's sad to watch. Doesn't she realize that Americans respect the Mitt Romney "it's time for me to go" approach more than the Mike Huckabee "I'm going to stay in and pray for a miracle" approach?

Well, I did appreciate this speech that she gave last week. So here it is. I hope you watch it.

Typical!

Just a list of ironic or otherwise strange things in my world:

* I logged onto Sprint.com to pay my bill tonight and got the "free ring tone" password. And I found the perfect FREE ring tone - something silly and maybe even embarrassing that I couldn't resist, especially for the price - Barbie Girl! And so I clicked the Buy Now button. Right as I was releasing the mouse button, I saw the tiny alternate link below the Buy Now button that said "buy with promo code." Oops! Too late! So I paid $2.50 for Barbie Girl. I now have it set as my message alert.

* I've tried twice since to log back in to get a real free ring tone and I keep getting logged out! I smell a conspiracy...

* Wait, that's not conspiracy. It's the result of brussels sprouts and pork chop for dinner.

* I waited up for Scott tonight. He gets off work at 1:30. He's still in the parking lot at work trying to help a co-worker with a flat tire. And of course, I will inevitably drift off to sleep 5 minutes before he walks in the door!

And some other odds & ends:

* I have an appointment next Friday to go in and take my typing/grammar test again. I did this before and pretty much aced both, but the results are only valid for 6 months. Why? Because the company likes to make us jump through hoops! The tests are prerequisites for applying for any sort of secretarial role.

* Why the sudden decision to move forward? Two different hotels are hiring the position I'm most interested in: assistant to the Food & Beverage Operations Manager. Unfortunately, those postings close at midnight tonight and I obviously won't have my testing done by then. But the next time the position opens up I'll be ready for it.

* I also told The Boss about my plans, and he's a little panicked. He's talking about filling my job as if I'm already gone or something. More on this when it's not 2 am.

* The Boss told Number Two and the Chef. I managed to tell Girl Chef before the "breaking news" got to her desk.

* Truth be told, it's unlikely that another position will post within the next month. I doubt I'll be out of there before the summer. My goal is to be out by October. If that doesn't happen, I'll probably stick around there through the holidays... that would be cruel and unusual punishment to my replacement and my bosses.

It feels good to actually have a little forward momentum. Right now, there are a lot of outside factors influencing my future plans as well as my day-to-day existence. Maybe that's why I'm taking this particular bull by the horns: I just want to feel like I can control something.

Shh...don't tell me control is an illusion... not just yet...

It's Milo

Here's a picture of Milo on my lap:

Strangely enough, when I asked Scott for the camera, Milo was sleeping peacefully on my lap looking cuter than normal. And of course, he woke up in the handing over of the camera. To my advantage, he closed his eyes whenever the green focus light came on, so I did get a few decent pictures of him.

And then his tail woke up. And then he saw his tail and decided that it needed to die. So even though this looks like a picture of Milo sleeping peacefully, he's actually in the process of killing his tail...pausing just long enough to close his eyes for the picture.

This picture was taken last night after Scott and I got home from babysitting all four of Mike & Reyna's kids. It was easier than we expected it to be. Hunter played on the computer the whole time we were there, except when I called them to dinner. Conner alternated between watching Hunter and watching TV. Autumn entertained us with some song & dance routines. And Cadence has finally stopped crying. She's in a walker now, and zooms around the whole house over the hardwood floors, laughing the whole time.

Cute baby quality time is exactly what Scott and I needed yesterday afternoon. And then quiet Milo time last night was perfect to recover from that!

Foot Fetish?

This picture of my fat white foot should cure anyone with any special love for feet! And if that doesn't, then maybe the picture of my lopsided big toe with its perfectly painted blue nail will do it.
Yes, I chose blue. In the bottle, the color definitely looked more of a cobalt - darker and a little purplish. Upon the end of my pedicure (which was the best $25 pedicure EVER... you should see the under side of my lopsided big toe where there was once a callous and is now silky smooth), I decided that I should go car shopping just to have the joy of walking up to a salesperson and saying, "I'd like something this color."

...but then I realized that this color is more of a Puerto Rican street racer color than a normal color. Of course, Frances is closer to one than the other too... but at least that was a factory-direct color!

Honestly though, I highly recommend this place. It's on 27 in Clermont in the shopping center in front of Kohl's. They have normal colors, too. But what fun is that?

Re-Fueling

Just when I'm ready to throw in the towel and run out, I have a day at work that doesn't suck. How? Well, sometimes I get to talk to random interesting people on the phone. Sometimes I have fun conversations with my bosses. And sometimes they feed me.

Sometimes they feed me Ballotine of Poulet Rouge with Chicken Consommé, Hedgehogs and Black Truffles.

Sometimes they feed me Maine Scallop with Petite French Lentils, Florida Corn and Saffron Foam.

Sometimes they feed me both, and it makes me happy.

(Sous Chef is running the show today, and I somehow have him convinced that he needs to keep me fed in order to get me to do my job. OK not really… but wouldn't you like to have an arrangement like that at work?)

Just Another Day at the Office

Work has been rough the past few days. Number Two went on a little beach vacation and hasn't been there for the past two days, leaving me alone in the office with The Boss.

...with two food writers last night
...who got special menus
...and special wine pairing

What's all that mean? It means The Boss is stressed, The Chef is stressed, and I'm stressed because I need extra information from them and they don't have time to give it to me.

Last night was so bad that the only reason I didn't call in today is that neither of them will be there. I'm counting on a quiet day, being left alone, and getting work done on some projects.

Also, I found out this week that the answer to this question is 4.5%, and for some reason I am taking that completely expected news really hard. I guess I feel like I deserve more. We raised our menu prices 25% in two years, which means the servers have gotten a MUCH bigger pay raise than I did (a $25 bump translates to an extra $5/guest, which adds up over the course of the year). The Boss did tell me that I'm the highest paid person in the location, which comes as no surprise. The servers make $3/hour or something ridiculous like that, and the seaters are pretty much on the bottom of the pay scale. As for the other people on my team, a) I'm the only full time person and b) I've got more years seniority than the rest of them. I won't even mention the other reasons I deserve more money than they get!

It's not personal, and not negotiable. Apparently that's the average for people in comparable jobs who were rated the way I was. But it definitely clarifies that I should be looking for another job, maybe one that doesn't require me to jump through hoops at 10 pm.

Chocolate Cake

In a severe fit of PMS, I made chocolate cupcakes this weekend. I found out that the average box of cake mix makes 24 cupcakes, and I had only one muffin tin. So I made 12 cupcakes and 1 9" round cake. But since it was only 1 layer high, it was a short cake.

I also made some slight modifications: after I poured the cupcakes and got them baking, I added a big heaping spoonful of peanut butter to the cake mix for the round cake. The batter was overwhelmingly peanut buttery, but it was too late to turn back! It turns out that peanut butter bakes off (?) during the cooking process, and you could barely taste it in the finished product.

I also took a can of chocolate frosting and added (slightly less) peanut butter to it for the cupcakes. The result: a mild peanut butter flavor, and a significantly less sweet frosting. They are delicious.

That might explain why I had one for breakfast this morning!

An Even Smaller World

By now you may have heard that Disneyland is closing their version of It's a Small World this year to dig the canal deeper so that the fat riders don't make the boats get stuck in mid-ride. During the ride rehab, they are also making some other changes:

An “Alice in Wonderland” doll wearing a blue dress and a white rabbit in a playing card tunic... will be added near a chessboard and red rose tree already existing in the Small World attraction.

Officials confirmed that Alice is one of several Disney characters that will be added to
Disneyland’s Small World in a controversial plan that has infuriated some purists. Officials have insisted that Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse will not appear in the Anaheim attraction.

I couldn't possibly verbalize how much this bugs me any better than the folks over at Re-Imagineering have done here, "Cute as they may be, Belle, Mickey, Stitch or Nemo have nothing to do with selling the core values of UNICEF, the show’s original partner. Their appearance not only trivializes the central theme but more disturbingly seems to emphasize global brand marketing and franchising above all else."

More posts about this can also be found here and here, with a little snark here.

Let's All Embellish, Shall We?

This morning, I encountered sniper fire when I got out of bed. I had to cancel my morning pee and run with my head down straight to the living room.

Yeah that's right. I'm pissed at Hillary Clinton. What the hell is she doing out there?

Speech last Monday:

"I remember landing under sniper fire. There was supposed to be some kind of a greeting ceremony at the airport, but instead we just ran with our heads down to get into the vehicles to get to our base."

The account in her book:

"Due to reports of snipers in the hills around the airstrip, we were forced to cut short an event on the tarmac with local children, though we did have time to meet them and their teachers and to learn how hard they had worked during the war to continue classes in any safe spot they could find,"

The CBS News video (ok, I admit, it was released by the Obama campaign):

shows Clinton and her daughter, Chelsea, walking across the tarmac from a large cargo plane, smiling and waving, and stopping to shake hands with Bosnia's acting president and greet an 8-year-old girl.

So yes, she got caught with her pants on fire. And I read that article twice and didn't see anything along the lines of, "yeah, sorry about that. I guess I just got carried away." But here's my favorite quote from the article:

Former Army Secretary Togo West, who accompanied Clinton to Bosnia, said he was
not surprised "that there could be confusion" when someone who has taken a number of trips tries to recall details of a particular trip 12 years earlier.

Does that mean there was another trip where there was sniper fire? I'll be frank: of all of the trips I've ever taken, I'm quite certain that there was never any risk of sniper fire. So unless she can produce video of them ducking and covering at another airport, I'm not interested in anything else she has to say.

...oh yeah, I just remembered: my morning pee happened as scheduled. There was no sniper after all.

Smelling of Wine and Laundry Detergent

Yeah, that's a knife sticking out of a wine bottle. If you are observant, you may have also noticed the bits of cork scattered across the kitchen counter or the purple splatter on that canister of bread crumbs on top of my lunch box. Out of the frame are the purple spots on the floor, my face, the wall behind me, and the upper counter by the tea kettle.

"But Jamie, why didn't you use that corkscrew right next to the wine bottle?"

I tried. That's where the bits of cork came from.

So after I failed spectacularly with the corkscrew (and yes, I realize the wine opening technology has improved vastly since the 1970's), I tried the vegetable peeler. And then I tried the paring knife.

I'm not sure what I expected to happen, but I definitely hadn't anticipated the Molotov Rioja! I'm also rather impressed that my eyes sealed themselves shut just before the shower. Sadly, I needed to open my eyes to find the paper towel, and I can report that red wine burns just as much as shampoo or face wash.

I left the knife in the bottle while I went to change, and leave my (thankfully) red sweater and brown t-shirt in the washer soaking. I took evidence photos. And I wiped up the counter before the wine had a chance to stain... well, almost. I'm sure Scott will be able to get the last of it out with something stronger than a Clorox wipe!

And then I tried to pull out the knife and cork. It didn't work, and I had to push the knife back down to get it un-stuck. And you know what happened? I bet you do! But somehow I didn't expect the same damn thing to happen again! Of course, this time the wine got all over my white t-shirt, which I'm still wearing because - meh - it's an old shirt that I only wear to bed anyway.

I still wanted to at least try the wine, despite the bad cork omen. So I poured it through a metal strainer to catch the tiny bits of cork. I actually don't think the wine is bad, especially considering the cork and the metal trauma it had been through. Sadly, I can't possibly save it. My only other vacuum topper is on a bottle of white that I enjoyed much more, and the cork is still floating in the bottle.

So cheers to you! Anyone have a story that will make me feel better about this?

Not Your Typical Easter Post

I forgot my camera today, so I have no pictures of the eggs. Hopefully they'll still be there on Thursday. I do, however, have some interesting Easter videos for you. The first was courtesy of my mom (though I found it on YouTube for ease of posting), and the other courtesy of Scalzi's blog.





If that wasn't enough for you, there's a rather amusing one from the fine folks at Cadbury. Who doesn't love the British sense of humor?

Happy Easter!

Amazingly enough, we're really slow at The Restaurant tonight, with about 20 people fewer than we had last night. I'm bringing my camera today to take pictures of the two chocolate eggs gracing our location this year, and maybe I'll actually get them posted before it's no longer Easter!

If not, they'll appear some day.

Spring Training Recap

I am so incredibly tired. Fourteen hour days are just tough on the body and the mind - there's no way around that. Of course, I did the math and realized just how much extra money I grossed this week, and it did ease the pain a little. So here's some random things about Spring Training:

* Of the 9 stations the employees rotated through, only one was the actual hotel side of The Hotel. Front Desk/housekeeping/bell services all shared one space. And their only hand-outs were the chocolates you get on your pillow at turn-down! The other stations were run by the restaurants, the bakery, recreation/spa, conventions and merchandise.

* The Restaurant this year was serving poulet rouge (red feather chicken, originally from France, but now raised in North Carolina) with lentils and a chicken cream sauce. Sadly, The Chef never did figure out a way to keep the little chicken roulades from drying out in the chafing dish. The result: more sauce later in the day! The other restaurants were handing out chocolate gelato, seafood bisque, and one-bite prime rib sandwiches.

* I think I convinced The Chef to go back to short ribs & potato puree next year. Let that other restaurant serving the prime rib go back to serving strawberry soup!

* They fed us pretty well between sessions. Cuban sandwiches for lunch yesterday, steak sandwiches the day before, plus chips, salad, and fresh fruit.

* Over the course of the two days, I had 4 cans of coke and probably 10 cups of fruit punch/lemonade. Yes, I'm weak. And I have no doubt that if I worked a day job and always had to work at 6 am, I would be a coffee drinker. Mornings are tough!

* I really enjoyed seeing all the managers let their hair down between sessions. Our station became the congregation point for the food & beverage people (including our operations manager) to hang out, and I overheard some things I wasn't supposed to, and witnessed some merciless teasing.

* I worked my butt off down there. On day one, I passed out food/forks/napkins and replenished our supplies when they were low. On day two, we drafted our operations manager to our team, and he helped us plate and serve and I took over part of the presentation. I got all of the "fun" details like the dress code, the child policy, and the reason we ask 20 questions when you call to book a reservation. I also got to mention the employee discount... when The Boss didn't steal my thunder!

* The bosses are already talking about how much better that worked out, and are planning on a 3-man team next year as well.

* Had Scott not come to see me at work yesterday, I would probably have gone 3 or more straight days without seeing him awake.

Bumper Sticker Fun

And now for something a little lighter!

Who Wants a Political Rant?

Mom,

The jobs are going to other countries. That's a fact. The blue-collar jobs are going to developing countries, and the engineering/technology jobs are going places with a better educated work force.

Do you really think the people who shop for everything at Wal Mart because it's cheap care whether that made-in-Bangladesh sweater was made by someone making 10 cents/hour? The same sweater made in the USA by a worker making a "whopping" $6/hour would cost probably twice as much.

And remember the most motivated kids in my high school? Ushma, Debanjan, Sundip, the Lee brothers… in short, the Asians and the Indians. Well schools all over the eastern hemisphere are turning out students who are better at EVERYTHING than we are. And they're not coming into the US and "stealing our jobs" anymore. They stayed at home, built up their economies, and are making it difficult for the US to keep up. It's a reality that we aren't the richest or most powerful nation in the world. We don't deserve to be. Our education system is crumbling, and it's the complacency and bickering everywhere from local school boards to the US government causing that problem. Those other countries care about their future. They care about their children's future. And they're actually doing something about it.

My generation (or maybe even the one before mine) could be the last that sees people from Europe and Asia coming to America, "the land of opportunity." Sure, things are better here than Mexico or Cuba, but does anyone really want to measure us against that ruler?

I know in my heart that you are not one of those people who doesn't care about the mess you leave behind for your grandchildren to clean up. Education is important NOW. The economy is important NOW. Health care is important NOW. Iraq is less important. In the grand scheme of things, even $4 gas is less important. Crackpot preachers are NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL.

Read the whole speech. Pretend it's John McCain or GWB or Ronald Reagan saying the words. Get past the messenger and read the message. If you must listen to right-wing talk radio, listen to the left, too. You don't have to agree with the spin, but at least you'll be exposed to more than one side's rhetoric and become more adept at recognizing it for what it is: propaganda.

Still to come if I'm still on my soap box tomorrow: health care and health insurance. Stay tuned.

Sleep Deprived Humor

Actual conversation in my office at 2:30 pm:

David: Hi. I'm David. I'm the media manager here at The Hotel.
Me: Nice to meet you. I'm Jamie. I… sit at this desk.

Eight more hours of work? Is that really a good idea?