31 July, 2013

The Final Push

There was a point when I ran the Ten-Miler last year - somewhere between mile 7 and 8 - when I knew I was going to finish that race.  Starting with the day I paid the registration fee and at least once a day every day in between, I had doubts.  Would I give up?  Would my feet survive? Would I get scooped up by the Van of Shame?  But that moment when I realized I could finish was even more emotional for me than when I actually did finish.  Sure, there are a hundred things that could have gone wrong in those last 2-3 miles.  But the doubts were gone.  I knew I was going to do it.  I was doing it.  The worst was behind me, and I was able to look around and enjoy my moment.

Fast-forward to today.  I got my 2013-14 academic planner in the mail from World Campus and flipped to May.  There it was in black and white, printed and bound and in my hands...

May 9-11
Spring Commencement Weekend

I took a picture of the planner page and posted it to Twitter. Someone from the World Campus team tweeted back and said, "you didn't fill it in yet!"  It hadn't even occurred to me.  It's still so far away... hundreds of things could still go wrong.  But then all of a sudden I knew. The doubts are gone.  I know I'm going to do it.  I am doing it. The worst is behind me and I'm going to enjoy this.  So I went online and looked up the spring commencement schedule and I filled it in:

I haven't decided whether I'll make the trip up.  It's expensive.  It's impersonal.  I don't want to go by myself.  But it's not the ceremony that matters.  283 days from today I will finally be a college graduate.  And 4-6 weeks after that, I'll have a piece of paper to prove it.

...and maybe, just maybe, a year from today I'll be getting ready to start grad school. 

To Be Continued...

For now, I want to remember this day, when I got irrationally emotional about filling in a date on a calendar.  Today I realized I might not be close enough to the end of the race to see the finish line, but I know exactly where it is and the route I need to take to get there.  This is my moment.

This is the day
See it sparkle and shine
When all I've lived for
Becomes mine!


mamajoy said...

you made me cry!

wickedmess said...