Please Stop Yelling and Start Listening

I fear my "left-wing radical liberal" card is about to be revoked.  I'm also treading Biblical waters I don't understand.  But I'm genuinely hoping someone can help me understand what the HELL is going on in this country right now.  Here's the question I'd most like answered: why are the so-called open-minded left-leaning people all up in arms over the now infamous Phil Robertson interview in GQ?

Apparently I'm supposed to be offended by Robertson comparing homosexuality to bestiality...and also adultery, greed, drunkenness, and slander.  OK, the bestiality thing - I guess if I was gay that would really piss me off.  But seriously - let he who hasn't committed one of those sins call for the first boycott.  Since the media is pulling quotes left and right out of the article, I'm going to do the same:

Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”
...
“We never, ever judge someone on who’s going to heaven, hell. That’s the Almighty’s job. We just love ’em, give ’em the good news about Jesus—whether they’re homosexuals, drunks, terrorists. We let God sort ’em out later, you see what I’m saying?”

Anyway, what *I* interpret there is "love the sinner but hate the sin."  Am I so off-base there?  As far as I can tell, Phil has just as much of a problem with me going out for too many drinks after work as he has with gays.

Is the problem with him calling homosexuality a sin?

I think the big problem that we all have decided that our own interpretation of the Bible and the sins it includes - be it not eating pork, not having sex strictly for the purpose of procreation, not getting tattooed, not having gay sex, or not gossiping - is the only correct one.  And somewhere along the line we have decided the only way to convert others to our point of view is to scream at them that they are wrong until they relent and agree with us.

Duck Dynasty is a guilty pleasure of mine.  It's silly and staged, but at the end of the day the show has heart.  It's about an extended family who, though they usually think each other are doing things the wrong way, love one another.  Every episode ends at the family table with a pre-meal prayer of thanks and not a request for the salvation of the rest of us sinners.

Phil Robertson thinks that being gay is icky.  His quote about anal sex? Well, you can read it for yourself.  But he's not advocating any anti-gay legislation, hate crimes or even "pray the gay away" activities.  He's saying, if I'm allowed to interpret one more time, "I think homosexuality is wrong, but that's their eternal problem, not mine."  I personally think hunting is icky.  And while the Robertsons eat what they kill, their vast multi-million dollar empire rests on folks who I'm certain only kill for sport.  Is that a sin?  Who am I to judge?  I'm pretty sure I commit at least one sin a day, and I'd be willing to bet you do as well.  And I'm also willing to bet that we each judge someone whose life choices don't align with our own at least once a week, if not once a day.  What's the damn difference?

Frankly, Robertson's thinly-veiled racism in the same article was more offensive to me than his opinion of various sins.  And yet the NAACP doesn't want to re-educate him.  GLAAD seems to want Phil Robertson to change his moral compass to one that they find more palatable.  "Phil and his family claim to be Christian, but Phil's lies about an entire community fly in the face of what true Christians believe," said GLAAD spokesperson Wilson Cruz. "He clearly knows nothing about gay people..."

Where were the lies?  I've read the article fully through twice, and I have found nothing but opinions likely shared by a lot of people in his demographic.  And what do "true Christians" believe? 

I'm not saying he's right.  But I think that rather than scream and shake our fists and threaten boycotts every time someone makes a statement we disagree with, perhaps we should ALL step back and consider things from their point of view first.  Maybe we should look deeper than the quotes pulled for the evening news or the memes posted on Facebook.  Maybe we should stop our pearl clutching that an old Louisiana redneck Bible thumper said something offensive.  Maybe we should take a second to sit our kids - or nieces or nephews or neighbors - down and have a heart-to-heart about how we are all God's children, and if God is willing to love us despite our shortcomings, then we should be willing to extend grace to those around us as well.

OK...I know that many of you disagree with me on this.  Can you tell me why?

Just Do It*

Back in the dark ages when I was still working at The Restaurant, we had a college girl working in the office with us for the summer. She was 18 going on 12 (for real - petite AND young looking/sounding). She spent most of the summer coming in to work exhausted after staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning talking on the phone with her boyfriend in Hawaii.

She talked about him all the time, too. See, they had been dating since the beginning of fall semester and plans were in the works for him to get together with her family so he could ask her father's permission to marry her. (don't even get me started on that whole asking permission thing...) When her family came to visit, she and her mom went window shopping for wedding dresses. They even had their honeymoon all planned out.

Now I remember my boyfriend from my college freshman year. I remember the puppy love. I remember wanting to spend every single second together. And I distinctly remember not even once seriously consider marrying him. I asked her once why they were in such a hurry, and her answer shocked me:

Well, because we're Mormon, we can't have premarital sex. So Mormons marry pretty young... because they want to have sex.

I'll be honest: I understand and strongly respect the moral choice to "save yourself" until you find your one true love. But I disagree with any religion that is so strict with its young people that they feel the only way to act on their natural impulses is to hurriedly commit themselves for an entire lifetime just to get on with the "getting on."

Perhaps my young co-worker was especially immature (or horny). But her parents were active participants in the marriage plans, which I believe means they support her decision to marry young. At any rate, we all got an e-mail from her last week saying that they are engaged now and plan to marry next summer.

Congratulations, kid. But I really hope you spend the next 11 months really getting to know each other and asking the tough questions. Are your career goals in line? Where will you live? Will you have kids? Buy a house? Spend your spare money on vacations or save for retirement? Anticipating that one day with the white dress, the party (where you're still not old enough to toast with anything harder than sparkling apple cider), and then "90 seconds in Heaven" for that long will only, in my opinion, lead to a lifetime of disappointment.

But don't worry, no matter how disappointing your first time is - and it will be disappointing - the sex will definitely get better!

*I agree, it was the best post title ever!