Today has been a wildly awesome day for my internal number nerd. It's also been a day where I shamelessly bragged about various things to anyone who would listen politely. And since I haven't gotten all of the bragging out yet, here we are!
First of all, I don't recall whether I've mentioned my Workplace Safety and Health class. Basically, the title is self-explanatory. I took it because it's interesting to me (most of my job revolves around OSHA-mandated training) and because the company is reimbursing me for it. Win-win! Anyway, I'm fairly familiar with the subject material, and the requirements for assignments have been very clear. So I managed to get 100% on all of the assignments up to the midterm. I knew that the odds were slim that I'd be able to pull off a perfect score, but I was still disappointed that my exam grade was a 94. Yep...I'm not sure when it happened, but I have become that person. The one who humble-brags about "only" getting a 94.
The instructor sent out an email to the class today discussing the midterm, and he mentioned that there was a "slight curve" applied to our exam grades, so I logged in right away to check. Imagine my shock, wait...perhaps GLEE is a better word, when I saw that my exam grade was curved up to 100%. Yep...halfway through the class I still have a perfect grade! (we won't mention that I'm scraping by with an A- and B+ in my other two classes right now)
Keeping with the perfect theme, last week I told my "bad news bears"/"mighty ducks" department that if they had a perfect regulatory score this week I would bake cookies for all of them. I tried this trick a few months ago, and a manager screwed it up. But hey - just one delinquency isn't so bad. For the team that was consistently dragging down the rest of my region for my first two years, I was thrilled. Anyway, the monkeys actually managed to clear out all of their delinquencies this week. I guess that means I need to start mixing dough so I can make enough slice and bake rolls to cook up this weekend to feed NINETY people.
This department was my last holdout to get to the 100-mark at least once. My next challenge is to get the entire region to 100%...preferably on the week that they run the "global compliance" report. Everyone needs a goal, right?
Speaking of the global report, last month I was over the moon thrilled that my region was up to 99.6%. Not only was it our highest score ever, but it was a full percentage point higher than any of my peers' areas. I sent an absolutely gushing email to all of the managers in my region thanking them for their hard work, dedication, blah blah blah. And I meant every word.
I should have waited a month.
I couldn't believe my eyes when this month's report came out and my region was up to 99.9%! To be fair, they are actually at 99.87, but the one-decimal rounding works in my favor. Across my entire domain, there are a handful of smaller departments at 100%, but I've got to say my region is a HUGE sparkling diamond of awesomeness.
It's really nice to have quantitative measurements to point to and say "this is good." And because I'm not actually a trainer or a manager out there seeing what really is or isn't working, I sort of live and die by the numbers. Rationally, I know that what I see is only a small part of the overall equation that keeps things running and keeps my people safe, and I'm an even smaller part of that equation.
The thing about my region's success that makes me so happy is that I genuinely believe I have streamlined the process enough that when I'm finally ready to move on, they will do just as well without me...they'll just miss my sparkling personality and charm.
bwahahahaha
Anyway, this ego trip has taken me halfway to the moon. It's probably best that I return to Earth now. Thanks for coming along on the journey. And next time I'm having a pity party, someone please remind me about today.
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