Timeline

Often, the periods between my blog posts are either filled with negative things I'd rather not talk about or negative space -- nothing at all to talk about.

This time, it's been absolutely crazy around here.  I kept thinking, "I need to blog this," only to decide that sleep was a more effective use of my time.  But so much has happened and is about to happen that I feel I need to document.  So here is a timeline of the past two weeks and the next five weeks:

The Past Two Weeks:

May 10: Graduation Day!!  Celebrated by Park Hopping with Mom

May 11: Mother's Day -- celebrated with Mom

May 13: Got a call to schedule a job interview

May 14: 14th Company anniversary -- celebrated by going to the doctor. (I'm fine)

May 15: Job interview

May 17: Return to Magic Kingdom, this time to get a sneak-peek of the new Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ride with Cindy, a former intern who worked on the project over the past year. (that's her screaming next to me in the photo to the left. Kat, who was an apprentice at DAK a few years back, is behind my right shoulder)  The ride is great, and I'd say a wait of up to 40-60 minutes is acceptable.  The queue is shaded and has activities.  While at MK, I also did the Hall of Presidents, Haunted Mansion, TTA, and had a Dole Whip.

May 19 (morning): First day of grad school! 

May 19 (afternoon): JOB OFFER!!

May 20-23: Flurry of work-related activities, including trying to wrap up projects, tell people I'm leaving, make sure my area's training compliance doesn't crash & burn while there's no one in my position, learning about my new position... and of course, still trying to get through my normal daily tasks while my head is 8,000 other places at once!

Today/Tomorrow: 

Homework for week one. This includes 2 essays, a quiz, reading 4 chapters in textbooks, and watching a 40-minute movie.  

Next Week:

Monday: Memorial Day; planning to spend it getting ahead on next week's homework so that next weekend I can knock out as much of the following week's homework as possible

Wednesday: getting fingerprinted. 

Some other day: take my car to the dealership to get her road trip ready

Weekend: lots of homework, laundry, and maybe try to start packing

Week of June 1:

Last week in my current job!  Currently, my plans are to work Sun-Thurs (or work 4 10-hour shifts Mon-Thurs).  I'm going to need to pack and move all of my personal stuff out of the office.  There's a lot, including a large metal zebra, race bibs, and a bunch of stuff on the wall.

Thursday: Last day at DAK.  Potluck with my team. I'm planning to be a soggy sobbing mess by Thursday afternoon.

Friday: Leave for vacation early morning*

Saturday: Arrive in Philly in time to pick up my race packet for ODDyssey, spend the night in the city

Weeks of June 8 & 15:

Sunday 6/8: ODDyssey Half Marathon, head over to Jackie's house (my home base for these weeks)

Rest of the time: Bum around PA/NJ, catch up with as many friends and family as possible, do homework, possible trip up to NYC, eat LOTS of pizza, bagels, Chinese...

Week of June 22:

Traveling to Penn State for week-long summer intensive "Seminar in Employment Relations" class on campus.  If not for everything else going on in my life right now, this would be the highlight of my summer.  I'll be staying on campus (in a dorm building that wasn't there when I left 14 years ago), spending most of each day in class, and actually interacting and networking with my classmates.

June 28-29: Drive home

June 30: Start my new job

It's far too much to process logically.  The best I can do right now is to keep breathing, make lots of to-do lists as things pop into my head, and do my best to stop and enjoy the ride whenever possible.  I'm sure I'll check in between now and the end of June, but at least now you know where I'll be!

*Yes, I'm leaving home for three weeks.  Scott is going to be staying here, enjoying some roommate-free living and cuddling with the kitties.  I'm so glad our friendship is "ok" enough that he's willing to do that for me.

Facebook Post for Posterity

Yep...I found out on Wednesday that I got into my first choice (ok, only choice) Master's Degree program.  If all goes as planned, I should be finished in 2016 with an M.P.S. (Master of Professional Studies) in Human Resources and Employment Relations.

We got word two Mondays ago that they were finalizing decisions and should be notified by email within two weeks.  Of course, I had been compulsively checking my email during that entire period, and when I finally got word (at 10:31 am) I pretty much totally freaked out.  I texted my mom right away, printed out the acceptance letter, put the above post up on Facebook, and may have squealed, jumped, and happy-danced in my office (and the hallway by the secretary's desk...and the kitchen).  It took at least 1/2 hour before my hands stopped shaking!

I already had plans to go to lunch with a friend, and as you can imagine, my poor dining companion had to endure random "I'M A GRAD STUDENT" moments peppered throughout our meal.  He was a good sport about it though.  And for the rest of the work day, I was almost completely unable to focus on my job.

My officemate was off on Wednesday, so she got the news first thing Thursday morning.  Later on that day, we were joking about the idea of a rhino escaping and running through neighborhoods for days until the cops could finally catch it (there was context, I swear).  I tried to compare it to those stories of monkeys swinging amok in neighborhoods, and when my mouth started moving faster than my brain could catch up I accidentally used the phrase "until they catched it."  I immediately threw in a "caught...durrr!" once I realized what I'd said, but without missing a beat she turned around and said "ok, GRAD STUDENT!"  I laughed, and figured out that this probably isn't going to be the last time my stupidity is held up against a new standard.

Anyway, no rest for the weary.  My final paper is due by May 2, graduation is May 10, and summer semester starts on May 19.

Wish me luck!!

Nerding Out

I had a conversation with one of my imaginary "work boyfriends*" today unlike possibly any conversation I've ever had at work before.  And it all started because I didn't feel like running after work.

Me: I'm feeling pretty slackery.
Him: Is slackery a real adverb?
Me: Well, it would be an adjective, but no I think I made it up.
Him: No...pretty sure it's an adverb.
Me: Let's change the words.  "feeling pretty lazy" would make lazy an adjective.  "walking lazily" would be an adverb.

I kid you not, this went on for another five minutes, during which time the phrases "diagramming the sentence," "modifying the I," and "predicate adjective" came up; plus the merits of diagramming sentences were discussed.  In the end, he ended up emailing his teacher mother to settle the debate.

I got a text after I left work telling me her reply -- it would be an adjective modifying "I."

My reply: "neener neener."



*The work boyfriends are a long and winding tale for another time.  They are real people, but their boyfriend status is imaginary.  

Static Oops

Sixth Grade Jamie dressed me today for work. She put me in black leggings, a mid-thigh-length sweater, and red boots. Sixth Grade Jamie loved leggings and long sweaters…  

Actually, that’s the last page of the story. The truth is that my sixth grade self was forced to assist when I was already at work because my 34-year-old self couldn't seem to get it right this morning. I started out today wearing the leggings (which are actually capri-length spandex running pants) and boots under an ankle-length knit skirt, with a simple black top. It was one of those “if I’m going to keep that skirt in the closet, I’m going to have to wear it eventually” sort of ensembles that was serviceable but not really something I would generally wear.

It turns out, the skirt was NOT AT ALL serviceable. The heat is on in my office building, and the dry air turned me into a giant ball of static cling. Every time I got up from my desk, the skirt would bunch, cling, and ride up. It was the dry air/skirt version of a wet t-shirt. And it was awful. A quick internet search told me hairspray works against cling, so my officemate was nice enough to lend me hers. I think it made it worse! The anti-static monitor wipes in my desk (basically lint-free slightly damp towelettes) didn’t help me either.

Within two hours, I had reached my breaking point. I decided to just pretend that the long cardigan I keep in my office for cool days was a sweater dress. It’s not the least attractive ensemble I’ve ever worn to work, but I was joking all day that I feel like Wonder Woman in an overcoat.

Truthfully, I don't hate the outfit I ended up in.  But I don't think I'd wear it again.  The sweater ended up just as staticky as the darn skirt, and I ended up having to tug it back down every time I stood up.

Anyway, I just wanted to give a shout-out to Sixth Grade Jamie for helping me out today, and also thank everyone in advance who participates in my upcoming Kickstarter to buy a full-length mirror before I break my neck standing on the edge of the bathtub in heels...

Full Fowler

I started out today feeling professional and pretty spiffy in my new button-down shirt, wearing glasses and actually blow-drying my hair.

That lasted until a half hour into my work day when one of my foremen walked into my office and bitch-slapped my ego so hard that when it woke up my clothes were out of style.  Here's the transcript:

Him: wearing your glasses today?
Me: yep...it's that kind of day.
Him: geeky?
Me: [open-mouthed stare] I was going to say the kind of day where I don't put my contacts in, but...
Him: geeky.
Me: screw you, pal!

It was meant in fun, and he didn't really hurt my feelings, but it did cause me to reevaluate the ensemble: long straight hair, glasses, button-down, cardigan...

Oh no...I've gone full Fowler*!

Amy Farrah Fowler is possibly the TV character I identify with the most - mostly because of her endearing awkwardness - but that doesn't mean I want to DRESS like her!

And in case you're not fan of the show (or if you are), here's the "Best of" AFF...

*bonus points if you got the Tropic Thunder reference.  If not, don't look it up - there's no way that could NOT be offensive out of context!

Unexpected Revelation

Yesterday was kind of a roller-coaster. I ended up leaving work early because I hadn't slept well the night before and my brain was going in 18 different directions that had nothing to do with staring at a computer monitor and scheduling training.

The biggest part of the day I'm not quite ready to share.  I'm wrapping my brain around some things, processing, and trying to put a positive spin on it.

Looking back, the unexpected highlight of my day was carpooling to a (pointless) meeting with my area's safety manager.  I was really tired to the point of acknowledging that I was talking without using my brain, and yet he kept the conversation rolling both to and from the meeting... and maybe made some faces at me during the meeting.

On the way back to our end of the world, I was totally nerding out about my safety & health class.  I complained about OSHA and bad employers and bad Congressmen.  And when I shut up long enough to let him get out 5 words I realized the guy actually knows his stuff way more that I assumed he did and cares - GENUINELY CARES - about the people he's responsible for.  He knows how bad it sucks for everyone involved when things go really wrong and is doing what he can to keep his people safe...even if it means shoveling elephant poop!

I've sat in enough (pointless) meetings to know that the general managerial perspective on employee safety is making sure everything is OSHA-compliant.  They are more concerned about covering their own - and the company's - asses than in actually being proactive and protecting their employees.  My job exists so that if something goes wrong (and it has), the people over and around me can point to a few sheets of paper and say, "not our fault...blame the injured or dead guy."

I'm glad that my people are also his people.  Though I'm sure I'm more personally invested in "my guys" than he is, I know he's more invested in them than some safety managers for other departments are.  And at the end of the day, the more people who care about my guys, the better for all of us.

100% Awesome (and 0% modest)

Today has been a wildly awesome day for my internal number nerd.  It's also been a day where I shamelessly bragged about various things to anyone who would listen politely.  And since I haven't gotten all of the bragging out yet, here we are!

First of all, I don't recall whether I've mentioned my Workplace Safety and Health class.  Basically, the title is self-explanatory.  I took it because it's interesting to me (most of my job revolves around OSHA-mandated training) and because the company is reimbursing me for it.  Win-win!  Anyway, I'm fairly familiar with the subject material, and the requirements for assignments have been very clear.  So I managed to get 100% on all of the assignments up to the midterm.  I knew that the odds were slim that I'd be able to pull off a perfect score, but I was still disappointed that my exam grade was a 94.  Yep...I'm not sure when it happened, but I have become that person.  The one who humble-brags about "only" getting a 94.

The instructor sent out an email to the class today discussing the midterm, and he mentioned that there was a "slight curve" applied to our exam grades, so I logged in right away to check.  Imagine my shock, wait...perhaps GLEE is a better word, when I saw that my exam grade was curved up to 100%.  Yep...halfway through the class I still have a perfect grade!  (we won't mention that I'm scraping by with an A- and B+ in my other two classes right now)

Keeping with the perfect theme, last week I told my "bad news bears"/"mighty ducks" department that if they had a perfect regulatory score this week I would bake cookies for all of them.  I tried this trick a few months ago, and a manager screwed it up.  But hey - just one delinquency isn't so bad.  For the team that was consistently dragging down the rest of my region for my first two years, I was thrilled.  Anyway, the monkeys actually managed to clear out all of their delinquencies this week.  I guess that means I need to start mixing dough so I can make enough slice and bake rolls to cook up this weekend to feed NINETY people.

This department was my last holdout to get to the 100-mark at least once.  My next challenge is to get the entire region to 100%...preferably on the week that they run the "global compliance" report.  Everyone needs a goal, right?

Speaking of the global report, last month I was over the moon thrilled that my region was up to 99.6%.  Not only was it our highest score ever, but it was a full percentage point higher than any of my peers' areas.  I sent an absolutely gushing email to all of the managers in my region thanking them for their hard work, dedication, blah blah blah.  And I meant every word.

I should have waited a month.

I couldn't believe my eyes when this month's report came out and my region was up to 99.9%!  To be fair, they are actually at 99.87, but the one-decimal rounding works in my favor.  Across my entire domain, there are a handful of smaller departments at 100%, but I've got to say my region is a HUGE sparkling diamond of awesomeness.

It's really nice to have quantitative measurements to point to and say "this is good."  And because I'm not actually a trainer or a manager out there seeing what really is or isn't working, I sort of live and die by the numbers.  Rationally, I know that what I see is only a small part of the overall equation that keeps things running and keeps my people safe, and I'm an even smaller part of that equation.  

The thing about my region's success that makes me so happy is that I genuinely believe I have streamlined the process enough that when I'm finally ready to move on, they will do just as well without me...they'll just miss my sparkling personality and charm.

bwahahahaha

Anyway, this ego trip has taken me halfway to the moon.  It's probably best that I return to Earth now.  Thanks for coming along on the journey.  And next time I'm having a pity party, someone please remind me about today.

Three's Company...Four's a Crowd...Let's Have a Party!

Below is a snippet of a conversation this morning at work between me and a guy who also works in the building.

Him: what are you drinking these days? (he has some sort of booze hook-up and often brings in bottles to people at work)
Me: nothing really. I don't like to drink alone.

Me: well, I occasionally make Jell-O shots with vodka...
Him: we should go out for a drink some time.
Me: eh...I only really go out on Fridays to Applebee's.  Don and I befriended the bartender there, and he only works Fridays and Saturdays. So Fridays are sort of my designated day to have a social life.
Him: oh, well then I'll go there and buy you a drink.
Me: thank you?

Yikes!

There I was, picturing awkward drinks with my usual Friday "date" and another "date."  So I did what any rational person would(n't) do: decided to invite more people to join Jamie's Awkward Party (also known as Jamie's Inappropriate Men Party).  So far, I found one other guy to come along - a guy friend (married, so he definitely fits in the parameters for the second party name) who works in another department. He doesn't know the other players, and apparently thrives on awkward.  I joked about inviting Scott, but...well, that just seemed like a bad idea on many levels.  I really am planning on inviting some more people from work.  If I build up enough of a crowd, then it'll be much more of a party atmosphere and (hopefully) less awkward.

So...anyone free on Friday around 2:45?  First round of fried green beans are on me (or one of my dates...)!

Another Hodge Podge Post

Prologue:
I don't think I've mentioned on the blog (though Facebook knows alllll about it!) that my work building has a... considerable challenge with German cockroaches.  I had one run across my desk last week, and I'm still a little emotionally scarred!  The pest control department even came out last week to spray the lockers in the hallway because it seemed like all of the guys were shaking roaches out of their clothes and shoes.

One of my trainers stopped by today to tell me had training forms for me, but they were in his locker.  I asked him to shake the roaches off before bringing them to me, and he laughed, telling me there are no roaches in the lockers on his end of the building but they are in the microwave in that workshop.  He told me that he was heating a frozen meal - 4 minutes on high heat - and when he opened the microwave a roach ran out from under the turntable.  That's right, you can kill a Gremlin in the microwave but you can't kill a cockroach that way.  They.  Are.  Monsters.


skip to 2:00 for gratuitous exploding Gremlin action

In other news, I barely slept last night.  (I'm fine, just letting someone live in my head rent-free.)  After laying there not sleeping until 10:30, I got up and came back downstairs.  I watched The Daily Show and Colbert Report before going back upstairs.  After falling asleep around 12:30, I woke up at 1:20 and 3:05 before my alarm finally went off at 4:15. 

Ordinarily, on tired days I wear my hair in a bun and wear comfy/frumpy clothes and keep a low profile.  And I hear "are you ok?" or "no sleep?" from the folks in the building all day long.  This time, I made a conscious effort to hide the bags under my eyes behind glasses, hair down, a dress, and heels.  And all day I heard variations of "you look pretty today."  You can judge for yourself whether that really meant "thank you for showing me your boobs," but I'll take it!  (btw, I had a cardigan on at work)

Though I still feel generally off and it's likely I'll be asleep long before 8:00 tonight, I left today with a solid self-confidence boost I desperately needed. My original plan for tonight was to bake chicken thighs and make mashed potatoes for my next few meals, but I didn't want to commit to that much manual labor.  Instead, I stopped for a sub - half for dinner, half for tomorrow's lunch - and will try that whole cooking thing again tomorrow night.

For now, I'm just hoping I've evicted my brain tenant enough to sleep for a really long time tonight.  And perhaps I'll try this dress-up thing again tomorrow.

Just a List

Where to start?  Well, training is going fine.  I did a 4-mile run last weekend in 1:01.38.  I was hoping to complete in an hour or under, but this time is still under the 16 minute/mile pace I need for the race.  I had an epiphany of sorts on the treadmill yesterday.  I realized I needed to start pushing myself more on my indoor run days, so that my stamina will be there for the longer runs.  I also managed to increase my intervals to 25/35.  I tried 30/30 a few weeks back and thought I was going to die, so I've been at 20/40 ever since. 

Of course, with the longer runs, recovery time is starting to feel more important.  I have fairly mild shin splints that were actually sensitive to the touch until yesterday.  I still feel them with every running step I take.  I'm going to the chiropractor today, and can't wait to see how misaligned I am.

This weekend's run is only two miles, and since Jackie is in town I plan to run around the resort we're staying at.  It'll be weird to not have Scott biking down my heels, but I'm actually looking forward to going out solo.  Next weekend: 5 miles.

Oh, and my new quirk: watching the Olympic track & field trials on TV and referring to the runners as "my people."  Of course, the shot-putters are closer to my shape, but don't tell me that!

In non-runner news, I was covering another department's training while they were backfilling their training person who ran screaming to another position for all of April and May, and the beginning of June.  It was challenging, and I wasn't amazing for their area.  They needed more attention than I could give them, and their training scores suffered.  I know I'm not really to blame for that, but it was still tough for me to deal with.  I'm glad they are off my plate (except for the daily questions from the new training person, which I'm happy to answer) and am looking forward to starting a new and interesting project...once one comes along.

Breakfast for Dinner

I wish I had a picture...I think you'd be impressed.  Somehow Scott and I both landed on the idea that we wanted fried egg sandwiches for dinner tonight...but with a twist: eggs over-easy.

For Scott: sandwiches with egg, cheese, bacon, tomato, and mayo on wheat burger buns; plus a green salad with blue cheese dressing and 1/2 piece of leftover bacon crumbled in.  (because, frankly, if you're eating your salads without bacon and blue cheese you're doing it wrong! or you're just eating a normal pedestrian salad)

For me: egg, cheese, bacon, and tomato on wheat cooked like a grilled cheese.  Oops...squished the sandwich and some yolk ran out and cooked on the outside.  DON'T PRESS ON THE SANDWICH AFTER FLIPPING IT, STUPID!  My salad was the same as Scott's...with the addition of another over-easy egg smashed into it.

People, you need to run out right now and make this for yourselves!  Poached egg would be good, if you're capable of poaching.  Use less dressing than you would otherwise, because the egg makes everything richer and creamier and WHY DO MORE PLACES NOT SERVE SALAD LIKE THIS?  I mean, if you're going to put hard-boiled, fart-smelling egg on a salad, this is the same calories only awesome!

So...is it obvious from my stream of consciousness that my brain is fried?  Maybe poached...I don't know!  I'm still plugging along with school.  It's the last month of the semester, so I'm keeping my eyes on the prize.  My psychology grade is over 96%, which still makes me laugh when I think about it, and my labor grade is currently 92.66% (an A-without-the-minus is 93.1%, so that's my goal).  I've blown a few essays for this class, so I'm not completely confident that I won't do something colossally stupid between now and the end of the month, but I'm cautiously optimistic.

Also?  Started working out for real this week.  In the morning before work.  This morning we got out the door a little late, but I was able to do just under 40 minutes on the treadmill (including warm up/cool down) and walked a little over 2 miles.  Add that to the leg weight workout I did on Monday, and I'm now having difficulty straightening my legs completely!  It's ok though - it's not pain so much as annoyance.  Tomorrow I'm learning the upper body circuit, which totally kicked Scott's ass the first time, so I'm hesitant.  Then cardio/treadmill on Thursday, and Friday I'll either wake up at the same time and do homework or sleep in for an hour.

I changed my work schedule, and now don't start until 9.  This means Scott and I get each other out the door to work out before work.  Two days in, and our only problem seems to be underestimating the time it takes to get over there.  Tomorrow my appointment with the trainer is at 6:40...and my alarm is set for 5.  If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get a quick hot soak in before bed.

it's a small world

I sent one of my trainers out today to do high reach training for a guy from another department, and it was sort of a cluster**** getting things organized and getting these two guys to the same place at the same time.  When the trainer got back, he stopped in my office and told me that this training was like a "call from God," which was good...I thought he was going to give me a hard time because of the lousy communication.

He went on to tell me that his dad had passed away 10 years ago, and even before that they weren't close.  Divorce, etc. etc.  But the guy that I sent him out to train works in the department his dad used to work in, and had worked with his dad for many years.  My trainer got to hear some old war stories about his dad, and got the other guy's phone number. He hopes they can get together for a beer so he can hear more.

Even people with great relationships with their parents rarely get to see them outside of the parent role.  For him to have the chance to get to know his dad from a completely different perspective, it's really a gift.  And he knows how lucky he was to have that chance meeting today, which makes it even more special.

Gloating

Last week, I had a bit of a snit with one of the managers I support.  Here's the quick rundown:

Him: How are you today?
Me: I'd be better if there were more training forms in my mailbox.
Him: It's the holidays dear, every day we open on time we're lucky.

See, he is part of the department I refer to as my Bad News Bears or my Mighty Ducks, depending on how far behind they are on their training that week.  And since about Thanksgiving, I've been warning them that they had a lot of training due in December and that "but it's the HOLIDAYS" was not going to be an accepted excuse for delinquency.

Yeah, I'm kind of a bitch sometimes.

OK, most times.

Anyway, needless to say, they got really behind on their training. Also in case you missed it, the man called me "dear" AND used the holiday excuse in the same sentence.  I was foaming-at-the-mouth angry for the whole morning and my office mate has been calling me "dear" on and off ever since just to tick me off. 

Since I knew the managers weren't on Team Jamie, I contacted every person with overdue training and told them what was due.  I also e-mailed all of the trainers to tell them who needed what.  And this morning when I stopped by my mailbox, I had 15 training forms filled out and ready to be recorded.  That's right, on the busiest week of the year when the manager told me that there was no time for training, somehow the people actually doing the work found time to get it done.

Cookies are going in the oven shortly, and oh dear I think there's only going to be enough for my trainers and not for their bosses.

Mostly Unrelated...
My office mate brought me a bunch of back-to-school supplies today - a bin for my homework, some giant paperclips for my homework, pink and purple pens, Peanuts pencils, and a Mario Cart pencil case.  She apparently thinks I'm going back to the 1st grade, but I totally love her for it!

Christmas Miracle

Of all my Santa pictures, this one is my favorite.  Though I enjoy the happy smile of 1984, I super-puffy-heart loved the dress I wore in the 1983 picture.  I still have this dress in a Space Bag upstairs.  It's got a crinoline...and a bell.  What could be better than that?  Plus, I think that the kid in this picture really looks like me.  (maybe it's the lack of smile?)

I do have some current news to share, so I apologize to 4-year-old me for upstaging her.

My boss today gave me the excellent news that I'm being promoted.  I'll be doing the same job, with with a different title and a new pay grade.  Effective January 1, my current title becomes "senior ," and I'm getting a 6% raise.

Now, 6% doesn't really sound like it would be enough to bring me near tears, but it's been a long time since I got more than 2-3% at once.  In fact, two years ago my annual raise was a piddly 6 cents per hour (the tears that year were plentiful, and certainly not happy ones).  This one raise literally equals the amounts of the past 4 or 5 years combined.

And aside from the money, there's also the fact that I've been promoted.  Someone thinks I'm good at my job, and I can't adequately express what that means to me.  I love this job.  And apparently the job loves me.  It's super-awesome!

One of Those Days

The following happened between 7:00 and 8:00 this morning:

* I walked out of the house, locking the door behind me, only to discover the my keys (house and car) were still inside.  This, ladies and gentlemen, is why we have a key stashed in the garage.
* I narrowly avoided being hit head-on by a speeding dirt truck who was in my lane "sharing the road" with a bicyclist.
* I narrowly avoided being side-swiped by a convertible BMW merging onto my road off of the local toll road.  I recognized this car because he zoomed past me a few days ago on my way in. Apparently road rules don't apply to BMW convertibles.  I know where he works...considered leaving a note, but couldn't come up with wording that wouldn't get me fired.

The following happened between 8:00 and 8:30 this morning:
* I found out that the trainer I had scheduled for a class with 6 learners called in, and that I would need to cancel the class.
* The new guy who started yesterday had parked himself in my office waiting for something to do. His stuff was on my desk when I got in, and he literally hovered over my shoulder while I got logged in.  He's a nice guy. I blame this morning's little incident on the fact that he is brand new to the company and his manager likes to pawn off work on other people. "Just see Jamie in the morning - she'll get you set up" doesn't fly when his regulatory training is done.  OJT is out of my jurisdiction.

While none of these individually were such a big deal, my defenses were down *cough*PMS*cough* and everything together was more than I wanted to handle. 

I did have some bright spots, including well-meaning co-workers bringing me some pretzel m&m's, a lunch to celebrate something awesome that happened yesterday (which gave me indigestion...sigh...), and a new electric stapler by the copy machine that has a red light on the front (which I have named K.I.T.T.).

Still, now I'm home with no desire to go back and do it all tomorrow.  I'm tired and defeated, and the only thing stopping me from crying my eyes out is the knowledge that I have no good reason to cry my eyes out (tell that to my sad gland though).

And thus concludes my whine. Sorry if you tuned in expecting something interesting or non-pathetic.  I hear I'm having my left wisdom teeth removed on Thursday...perhaps that will yield something interesting.

A Post That's Not About the Birds...But Does Include a Bird...Sort Of...

Do you ever have one of those moments where you look around and feel like you have stopped on the side of the highway of life and everyone else is flying past you in a shiny new car?  Oh no?  Me neither...

I had one of those moments earlier this week, and Scott and I agreed that I could have 24 hours to wallow ("it's like quicksand," I tried to explain to him, "you have to just be still. if you try to force yourself out of it you'll drown.").  It turns out I needed just about exactly 24 hours.  My rescue came in the form of 3 guys from China - ok, 2 from Hong Kong and 1 from Shanghai - and a strange and fun lunch.

There's a whole van full of the guys in town this week, taking a class from the training manager in my building (whose only connection to me and my job is a shared boss - it's a weird department!).  (guys, I WISH I could spill all about the class...and the classroom... it's so cool I wish I'd studied engineering or electronics or something in school. dang!)  The training manager invited me out to lunch "with the Hong Kong guys," and I figured I might as well go, if for no other reason than to pick on the baby-faced naive intern.  (Fridays are traditionally "Poke the Intern Day," but I had today off)

So I ended up at lunch at a table with the manager, the intern, and 3 guys from the other side of the planet.  The conversation ranged from their love of barbeque and Mexican food to geography and population density.  You know, just your average smalltalk!  Some highlights:

• In Hong Kong, they use bamboo scaffolding when building high-rise buildings.  25 stories tall!  And there's no OSHA requirements for fall protection harnesses either!
• The Hong Kong $10 bill isn't paper. It's paper-thin plastic that's sturdier than your average shopping bag, and it has a see-through spot on it.  The other bills are paper.
• These guys must have learned their English from The Wizard of Oz.  Our conversation about the terrible storms north of us included the word "twisters."
• China is shaped like a cock. (see the title of this post - I always get there eventually!)  The guy who currently lives in Shanghai was originally from Shandong Province. We asked where that was and he said "China is shaped like a cock. Shandong is in the chest of the cock."  I, thank the Lord, did NOT say "so is Florida!"  And also?  I couldn't remember the name of the province just now, only that it started with S, so I pulled up this map and was able to find it based on his description.  What do you know?!?
• China has a desert. (this might be the part where I got to be the stereotypical ignorant American.  "there's desert in China?") Apparently it's up near Russia.
• China has 31 provinces, and has 5 stars on its flag.  This came up because they said that they heard most Americans traveling abroad didn't know how many stars are on the US flag.

Anyway, it was great fun.  I left lunch with foreign money in my pocket (about $2 US) and had forgotten that I was sad.  I thought as a thank-you for the free money that I'd make some cookies for my new friends.  When I asked, one told me that he thinks chocolate chip cookies are too sweet, and I checked to see if they were ok with raisins and decided to make oatmeal-raisin cookies for them.  I dropped those off this afternoon.  I hope they liked 'em...

Also of possible interest to some of you, the 5-year pin from HKDL is the same as the domestic parks, but the opening team pin (they got them for the 5th anniversary celebration this year or last) and the nametag were very new and different to me.  Very cool!

Paranoia Justified

Preface: This story starts with a simple Christmas gift: a thermal cup for work that's got a built-in straw. The cup is important because it's established Jamie Fact that when I have a cup with a straw I drink more. Lots more.

At 11:30 this morning, I was on my third work pee of the day. I had washed my hands and was reaching for the paper towel dispenser when I noticed a small roach-ish (oval-shaped brown crunchy body, about 1" long) bug on the top edge of the trash can below. So I went to the far end of the bathroom and used the other towel dispenser and left the bathroom.

I called Scott and whined that I wasn't going to be able to pee for the rest of the day because of the bug. Of course, with all that free-flowing water, there was no way I'd make it another 5 hours without a pit stop or six.

On my fourth pee of the day, I was sitting on the toilet when I realized I hadn't done a full inspection of the stall first. Instantly, I started imagining the tickle of bug feet on my butt and thighs.

On pee #5, I abandoned my regular stall (too close to the last known location of the intruder), but still lifted up the seat and peeked around a little to make sure I was alone before closing the door. I felt silly, but I figured better safe than sorry.

On pee #6 (yes six!), I returned to my regular stall. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper, wiped the seat, and used the same wad to lift up the seat. And there it was. The roach. Under the very seat where I imagined it hiding all along. I tossed the TP into the toilet and went 3 stalls away. And then I went back to my office chanting, "heebie jeebie, heebie jeebie, HEEBIE JEEBIE!!!"

I hope it's gone completely by tomorrow. I love my new cup, and would hate to have to abandon it just because I have to go to another building just to use the bathroom!

Appreciation

Allow me to preface this blog post by stating unequivocally that I do not feel taken for granted at home. If anything, I don't do enough to tell Scott how much I appreciate him. But this post is all about work.

As you know if you're caught up on my Twitter or Facebook accounts, I made sticky buns for the 3rd shift safety meeting. This was a three-day process that caused me to bail on a friend's holiday party Wednesday (though as it turns out, Scott's day got all haywire and we wouldn't have been able to make it anyway) and not sing in a previously scheduled show of Candlelight on Thursday. But I promised them a month ago.

It turns out one of my 3rd shift managers had a family emergency and had to go out of town (which, by the way, sucks any time but double-sucks right before Christmas), and one of our attractions had some big issue that took another manager away. So this morning was a small crew. I begged them to eat, begged them to take some back for people not in the area, and still had 1/3 of their batch left.

(their batch - an entire 9x13 Pyrex dish - spent 45 minutes in a warm oven and was transported in a thermal carrier so that they would be warm and gooey. you're right mom, I do spoil them!)

I also had packed a separate container for my core group that I work with every day. So I spent much of this morning trying to give away sticky buns to everyone who walked in (or past) my office*. Everyone who took one pretty much gave me some version of "wow, that's really tasty," but my crowning achievement came just a little while before I left.

One of our electricians took a sticky bun to be polite. Really, when I offered it the first time he said "I'll come back after I eat my sandwich," and I didn't think he's come back. He did come back, took a small bun, and left. About 45 seconds later he came back, plate clean, mouth full, and exclaimed, "oh my God Jamie that was the best thing I ever ate. I need another one!" He grabbed a second one out of the container and left. And I almost melted in a big puddle of happy-to-be-appreciated goo!

To be fair, I'd never brought anything more culinarily complex than an apple pie to The Restaurant. But it's tough to "wow" people who generally eat scraps of 5-diamond food for dinner every night. There, I often felt invisible or, in the case of pot-luck dinners, out-matched. Now, every day I'm thanked for something. And the only thing I've brought in that didn't end up completely eaten was the cranberry sauce I brought in for Thanksgiving.

I know that a time will probably come when I no longer LOVE my job and LOVE my co-workers and LOVE the people I support and LOVE my office-mate. But right now, I really do love them, at least in part because they love me.

*I was SHOCKED by how many people had never heard the term "sticky bun" before. I weep for those people and their hollow, empty lives!

Label Fail

This is an actual tab on an actual hanging file in my desk. I spent a few hours over the past week cleaning out the desk, mostly recycling a half-ton of various papers (hello? isn't that what computer archives are for?) and moving folders around.

Despite all of the unsentimental brush clearing I did, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of the "Scap Paper" file, because every time I see it I chuckle.

I have approximately 100 hanging files in three drawers in my desk, and personally use five. There are another ten with stuff I haven't yet decided it's ok to toss. And of course, 2" of scrap paper that's been memorialized in an otherwise unused drawer (note: the folder in front of the tab is full of half-used notebooks. WTF?).

I'll leave you with two other pictures, for S&G's. These are the other file drawers. The first is the one I actually use (the first five files, at least). The second has 62 files - two sets labeled 1-31. Obviously I didn't do that zig-zag with the tabs. It pings my OCD every time I see it!

RIP DVR

The DVR is dead.


For the past few weeks, the quality of the recordings was getting worse and worse. Then the quality of the signal on the HD channels started to get worse and worse. Then it failed to record Glee on Tuesday. Then when we tried the old shut it off and turn it back on trick tonight, it refused to reboot.


Sigh...


So tonight I won't be able to watch Night of Too Many Stars, because I'd rather watch Grey's Anatomy on the TV tonight than on abc.com tomorrow. I'll probably still end up watching Private Practice on the computer, because I'm tired and will be making a concerted effort to fall asleep early tonight.


That's right, tomorrow is my monthly 4am meeting. I made pretzel nuggets (the last sheet just came out of the oven) for them, because I'm just awesome like that.

Also not connected to anything else, Scott grilled turkey burgers and veggie burgers for dinner tonight. The veggie burger was surprisingly tasty. The turkey, even with fiesta dip (I read the label - it's not that bad for you), wasn't spectacular. It was good, and even moist, but just a little ho-hum.

And now it's time to get in bed and watch TV until I convince my brain to sleep.