Sixth Grade Jamie dressed me today for work. She put me in black leggings, a mid-thigh-length sweater, and red boots. Sixth Grade Jamie loved leggings and long sweaters…
Actually, that’s the last page of the story. The truth is that my sixth grade self was forced to assist when I was already at work because my 34-year-old self couldn't seem to get it right this morning.
I started out today wearing the leggings (which are actually capri-length spandex running pants) and boots under an ankle-length knit skirt, with a simple black top. It was one of those “if I’m going to keep that skirt in the closet, I’m going to have to wear it eventually” sort of ensembles that was serviceable but not really something I would generally wear.
It turns out, the skirt was NOT AT ALL serviceable. The heat is on in my office building, and the dry air turned me into a giant ball of static cling. Every time I got up from my desk, the skirt would bunch, cling, and ride up. It was the dry air/skirt version of a wet t-shirt. And it was awful. A quick internet search told me hairspray works against cling, so my officemate was nice enough to lend me hers. I think it made it worse! The anti-static monitor wipes in my desk (basically lint-free slightly damp towelettes) didn’t help me either.
Within two hours, I had reached my breaking point. I decided to just pretend that the long cardigan I keep in my office for cool days was a sweater dress. It’s not the least attractive ensemble I’ve ever worn to work, but I was joking all day that I feel like Wonder Woman in an overcoat.
Truthfully, I don't hate the outfit I ended up in. But I don't think I'd wear it again. The sweater ended up just as staticky as the darn skirt, and I ended up having to tug it back down every time I stood up.
Anyway, I just wanted to give a shout-out to Sixth Grade Jamie for helping me out today, and also thank everyone in advance who participates in my upcoming Kickstarter to buy a full-length mirror before I break my neck standing on the edge of the bathtub in heels...