Preface: This story starts with a simple Christmas gift: a thermal cup for work that's got a built-in straw. The cup is important because it's established Jamie Fact that when I have a cup with a straw I drink more. Lots more.
At 11:30 this morning, I was on my third work pee of the day. I had washed my hands and was reaching for the paper towel dispenser when I noticed a small roach-ish (oval-shaped brown crunchy body, about 1" long) bug on the top edge of the trash can below. So I went to the far end of the bathroom and used the other towel dispenser and left the bathroom.
I called Scott and whined that I wasn't going to be able to pee for the rest of the day because of the bug. Of course, with all that free-flowing water, there was no way I'd make it another 5 hours without a pit stop or six.
On my fourth pee of the day, I was sitting on the toilet when I realized I hadn't done a full inspection of the stall first. Instantly, I started imagining the tickle of bug feet on my butt and thighs.
On pee #5, I abandoned my regular stall (too close to the last known location of the intruder), but still lifted up the seat and peeked around a little to make sure I was alone before closing the door. I felt silly, but I figured better safe than sorry.
On pee #6 (yes six!), I returned to my regular stall. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper, wiped the seat, and used the same wad to lift up the seat. And there it was. The roach. Under the very seat where I imagined it hiding all along. I tossed the TP into the toilet and went 3 stalls away. And then I went back to my office chanting, "heebie jeebie, heebie jeebie, HEEBIE JEEBIE!!!"
I hope it's gone completely by tomorrow. I love my new cup, and would hate to have to abandon it just because I have to go to another building just to use the bathroom!