Not My Finest Moment

I screamed at a telemarketer yesterday.

Having worked as the faceless person on the other end of the phone for a year or two, I know how badly the job sucks.  I know it's easier to be mean to a person you don't have to make eye contact with, and I'm certainly not bragging about screaming at a stranger.  But he deserved it.  Here's my best reconstruction of the conversation:

Him: Hello I'm with customer service from [unintelligible], calling about your computer
Me: Where did you say you are calling from?
Him: I can make your computer 80% faster.
Me: You're calling a cell phone and I'm on the 'do not call list.'
Him: I don't care.
Me: Excuse me?
Him: I don't care if you're on a cell...
Note: The guy had a thick Indian accent, and at first I wasn't sure whether he said "I don't care" or "I don't carry your cell phone," and I kind of gave him the benefit of the doubt that we were having some sort of language barrier and maybe thought I was saying I thought he was calling about my cell service.  Nope!
Me: Well I'm on the 'do not call list.' I'm asking you to take me off of your list and not call me again.
Him (cutting me off): I can make your computer faster.
Me: OH MY GOD SHUT UP, YOU JERK!

After I hung up, I laughed and laughed.  Seriously, I just don't DO things like that.  Had I lost my marbles?  Should I feel guilty?  Should I figure out how to file some kind of official complaint?

Well, as it turns out I have nothing to feel guilty about.  It looks like my Indian friend, calling from 219-545-8769, has quite a track record for being kind of a jerk.  And a scammer.  I find that fascinating.  If you're going to hack my computer or take my credit card number on a spending spree, shouldn't you at least be polite about it?

I doubt he'll call me back, but if he does I think I just won't answer.  I don't even really think he's a scammer.  I think he's just some kind of psychopath who likes to push people's buttons, like one of those trolls on internet message boards.  I let him get the best of me yesterday.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.

But it really did feel good to scream at him!!

No PotD Today

There is no photo today because I left my Purpleberry at work.  Even with the laptop on my lap, I feel disconnected. 

How disconnected? Scott got home an hour ago tentatively holding a jury summons in my direction and this is the first time I've shared that with the outside world.

Jury duty.  In a new county.  In a month.  I'm #100, and am hoping they only call 1-99.  On the bright side, I know it won't be the Casey Anthony case!

1,000 Words

Further proof that my camera is designed for teenagers: fun borders you can add before taking a photo! Here's Milo and Elphie "playing" in their play zone, with an eerily familiar orange & black cats border!

Side note: we washed those towels yesterday, and now have the most fascinating orange & black lint ball ever!

Typical!

Just a list of ironic or otherwise strange things in my world:

* I logged onto Sprint.com to pay my bill tonight and got the "free ring tone" password. And I found the perfect FREE ring tone - something silly and maybe even embarrassing that I couldn't resist, especially for the price - Barbie Girl! And so I clicked the Buy Now button. Right as I was releasing the mouse button, I saw the tiny alternate link below the Buy Now button that said "buy with promo code." Oops! Too late! So I paid $2.50 for Barbie Girl. I now have it set as my message alert.

* I've tried twice since to log back in to get a real free ring tone and I keep getting logged out! I smell a conspiracy...

* Wait, that's not conspiracy. It's the result of brussels sprouts and pork chop for dinner.

* I waited up for Scott tonight. He gets off work at 1:30. He's still in the parking lot at work trying to help a co-worker with a flat tire. And of course, I will inevitably drift off to sleep 5 minutes before he walks in the door!

And some other odds & ends:

* I have an appointment next Friday to go in and take my typing/grammar test again. I did this before and pretty much aced both, but the results are only valid for 6 months. Why? Because the company likes to make us jump through hoops! The tests are prerequisites for applying for any sort of secretarial role.

* Why the sudden decision to move forward? Two different hotels are hiring the position I'm most interested in: assistant to the Food & Beverage Operations Manager. Unfortunately, those postings close at midnight tonight and I obviously won't have my testing done by then. But the next time the position opens up I'll be ready for it.

* I also told The Boss about my plans, and he's a little panicked. He's talking about filling my job as if I'm already gone or something. More on this when it's not 2 am.

* The Boss told Number Two and the Chef. I managed to tell Girl Chef before the "breaking news" got to her desk.

* Truth be told, it's unlikely that another position will post within the next month. I doubt I'll be out of there before the summer. My goal is to be out by October. If that doesn't happen, I'll probably stick around there through the holidays... that would be cruel and unusual punishment to my replacement and my bosses.

It feels good to actually have a little forward momentum. Right now, there are a lot of outside factors influencing my future plans as well as my day-to-day existence. Maybe that's why I'm taking this particular bull by the horns: I just want to feel like I can control something.

Shh...don't tell me control is an illusion... not just yet...

Ring Tones

I was on the Sprint website this morning trying to upgrade Scott's text message plan (who knew 300 per month wouldn't be enough??) and instead came across an ad for a "free ringtone… just use this code." So I went browsing for ring tones.

This process is quite overwhelming to me. In general, I think that phones should RING. They shouldn't talk. They shouldn't sing. And they shouldn't play the Mexican Hat Dance. AND I can't believe there are about 4 zillion different ring tones out there to choose from.

In the end, I chose this one. Why the lame obscure song from The Wizard of Oz? I don't know! I guess because it made me laugh! And because they didn't have the guards singing "OREO COOKIES."

I still need to find a good call tone, but that will wait until another day. For now, I will just have to settle for being embarrassed every time my phone starts singing, "the wind began to switch… the house, to pitch… and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch… just then a witch, to satisfy an itch… went flying on her broomstick thumbing for a hitch." And I'm guessing my friends from Encore! would appreciate the humor as well.

A Plague of Cell Phones Upon Your House

Scalzi's weekend assignment points to a recent viral video. A (supposed) professor walks up to a student who answers his cell phone in class and punishes the student for his behavior. Was that professor justified in doing what he did? Have people completely lost all sense of courtesy when it comes to their cell phones? This is a pure opinion piece, folks -- tell me what you think.

I'll have to suspend my disbelief here, because I think this video was a set-up. If someone were really taping a lecture, they would've stayed on the professor instead of zooming in on the back of the head of Mr. Chatty Pants. But let's assume the incident really occurred. I don't think the prof was justified in destroying someone else's property. Seems a little like inappropriate "road rage" behavior to me. He would, however, have been completely within his rights to remove the phone from the kid's hand and pocket it. Then the kid would have had to beg for mercy after class.

As for people and cell phones in general, YES! My poor husband has been in one too many restaurants (ok, Chinese buffets) with me when I absolutely fume at the rudeness of the 10 construction guys using their Nextel walkie-talkie feature loudly enough that I can hear the conversation. And that **beep beep** sound drives me up a freakin' wall. First, I'm not a Nextel hater - I own a Nextel. I also know that you don't have to use the direct connect function on speaker - you can hold the phone up to your ear and pretend you're on a regular phone call.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable here, but I propose
10 Commandments for Wireless Users:

1) Thou shalt keep thy phone on vibrate when you are in public. (yes, the Mexican Hat Dance ringtone was funny in 1998 - now it's just annoying)
2) Thou shalt not answer thy phone in a movie theater
3) Thou shalt not OPEN thy phone in a movie theater (those LCD screens are bright!)
4) Thou shalt excuse thyself from the table and leave the dining area of a restaurant to answer thy phone
5) Thou shalt SHUT UP AND DRIVE
6) Thou shalt not text while driving
7) Thou shalt not use speaker phone in public
8) Thou shalt not use juvenile ringtones. (Cats meowing, dogs barking, police sirens, any sort of alarm, or -gawdhelpme- the sounds of bodily functions.)*
9) Thou shalt always think of others' needs before engaging in a telephone conversation which others might find disturbing or annoying. Always.**
10) Thou shalt not text while walking in a crowd.***
(I asked for some help with my 10 Commandments - and you delivered:
* from Janette
**from Wil
***from Laura)

Extra credit: Do you sometimes answer your cell phone at inappropriate times?
Rarely. I answered at work once or twice when I really had to talk to the person calling, but I went to the breakroom to talk. And I talk when I'm driving. Scott, on the other hand, is so attached to his phone that he may some day need to have it surgically removed. Case in point: he answered his phone mid-way through our first date and talked to a female friend of his for at least five minutes. I have since forgiven him, but I haven't let him live it down.