Not a Paid Endorsement

...just a statement of fact:

The Mr. Clean Magic Eraser will clean baked-on gum out of the inside of the clothes dryer.

You're welcome.

Proof Positive

The following picture is proof that:
a) the pantry was once empty, except for a bottle of wine, and
b) at least someone enjoyed that last foray into cleaning and organizing!

I'm just bummed I didn't get a picture a few minutes later when she was sprawled across the shelf.
I love that this picture could totally be black & white except for her eyes!

Linen Closet

This morning's project was the linen closet. Here's a partial list of things found within:

• Ghirardelli chocolate-caramel squares, probably from 2006 or '07
• Unopened pack of yellow practice golf balls (kept)
• A zillion travel bottles of Spa H2O Shampoo, Conditioner and lotion (kept)
• A dozen partial bottles of shampoos and conditioners that I didn't like
• Marriage certificate (kept)
• Two envelopes of family photos (some kept)
• Some random electronics that went to the closet to die
• Dead light bulbs (kept, because we're going to swap out the CF bulbs in the bathroom vanity before we leave)
• Bucket of cleaning products untouched by human hands in at least 2 years
• Two bags full of papers that Scott needs to sort into 'shred' and 'toss' piles
• A petrified roach

Good news for both of us, the apartment complex newsletter arrived today. There's a community yard sale this month. Scott's already scheduled off that day, and I'm going to take off as well, and I'm going to schlep our crap downstairs and get rid of as much as possible. The leftovers I plan to take directly to a Good Will drop-off. No sense lugging the stuff we don't want back up the stairs, right?

This means we only have two weeks to finish our initial sweep & sort. No problem. As far as I can tell, we have the two closets in the kitchen, the desk drawers, the bottom of the bedroom closet (did the stuff on the shelves last week), and the dressers in the bedroom to go through. I'm off tomorrow, and plan to tackle the kitchen.

It's a Trunk!

Scott and I took advantage of a perfect storm of clear, cool weather and empty garbage cans out back and cleaned out my car this morning. Not only is there a back seat (with seating for 3 tiny people), but there's also a nearly empty trunk.

Nope, no pictures. The car needs a good detailing. And a wash. And the peeling paint on the bumper is unappealing (groan!). But trust me - this was a spectacular first step.

Speaking of cars, we just got Scott's back from the Saturn dealer. This was one of those unfortunate scheduled maintenance combined with an actual issue and new tires trip. The result? Too painful to speak about. But at least the car is road-worthy for a few thousand more miles. And his tires are filled with nitrogen. Apparently that's good.

Happy Horse S--t

If Scott ever calls you up at work and the first thing out of his mouth is, "listen to this happy horse shit," just hang up and don't answer the phone for the rest of your shift. Trust me, it'll make your life simpler!



He did this to me Monday when he got home from work. Why? The apartment people left us a memo on our door that said:

Your home is scheduled for a pest clean out treatment. This service involves intensified application of all cabinets in both the kitchen and bathroom areas...



For best results, you must remove all products, dishes, pots, glasses, paper goods, etc. from these areas. When removing these items, please place them in the living room or bedrooms away from treatment areas so our technicians can work more effectively...


Scheduled cleanout date: 10/22/08

Someone was happy to hear the news - this is Milo in a box, inside a box, on top of another box! The cardboard trifecta!

So they gave us one full day to basically empty out the kitchen and the bathroom. That's five years worth of accumulated stuff in a day. I managed to score two empty boxes from work, and we found 2 other empty boxes and 2 laundry baskets in the house. First we cleaned the living room (which was our original plan for the day). Then we cleaned the kitchen. Then we pulled everything out of the cabinets and pantry.

It's possible the fumes from the "poison cabinet" under the kitchen sink may have gotten to Scott.

The end result? A temporary disaster area. Of course, once we are allowed to reload the cabinets and the closets, the result will be a much cleaner home. We'll still need to clean out the random crap accumulated in the dining room and the bedroom, but at least the living room will be clean and clear for a while!

Not pictured: The rolling "pantry," which has been relocated just outside the kitchen; the Christmas tree, which is stored in garbage bags because we couldn't get it apart to put it back in its box, and is now in the bedroom blocking me from getting to my pajamas or socks, or the kitchen counters, which are all cluttered with items for which there were no boxes.

We did learn some stuff in this endeavor:

1. Calling the office and yelling about the obscenely short notice won't do you any good.

2. Milo still doesn't like change. He spent most of yesterday exploring previously blocked-off areas and then growling and hissing at anyone who came near him.

3. Kraft boxed macaroni and cheese has an expiration date.

4. Elphie wants to go to the Good Will. I assume this because she has been in/on the box of unwanted dishes and kitchen wares since it came out of the pantry. By the way, if anyone needs a skillet or three with the non-stick mostly scraped off, a set of six sundae glasses, a plastic plate with Pocahontas on it, or 2 white coffee mugs with the Gevalia logo on them (and gold around the rim) please let me know. I don't even think Good Will wants that stuff!

5. A freshly mopped floor is a magnet for spills. Last night we lost some purple beer (good recommendation, Janette. Scott really liked it) and a cup of Papa John's garlic butter. Watch your step!

Seven garbage bags and 12 hours after we started, we were done. And I mean DONE. We were both passed out before 11:30 last night.

And now all we can do is wait. We can't cook because the stove top is covered by appliances that came out of the cabinets and the oven is full of pots and pans. We can't do the dishes because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes that needed a home. We have dinner plans tonight, but I'm hesitant to leave the house if they haven't come by then because I don't want the cats and the guinea pig to become desegregated in our absence.

I guess Scott was right. Horse shit. Total horse shit.

If You're Looking for Me This Week...

I'm not here.

I'm working Monday through Saturday this week. Fifty hours. On the bright side, for most of the week, I'm only working 8 hour shifts. This means I can sleep in a little and come home not completely exhausted.

Since today was my one day off, I filled it with important business:

* Went shopping (had a "spend $50, get $25 back coupon) for clothes, bought 2 shirts and 3 pairs of pants. Yeah, spent more than $50. Also, I was supposed to be getting work clothes. At least I got 1 sweater and 1 pair of pants.

* Had lunch at Chipoltle. I'm still trying to find a meat filling that isn't too spicy for me. So far we've ruled out the shredded beef and the chicken. And I think the pork tastes like wet dog. Maybe vegetarian is the way to go?

* Saw Dave's new house. I'm jealous!

* Cleaned out the old clothes that were in the broken/un-openable drawers of the old dresser.

* Cleaned out the closet. (hey Mom - I have a ton of stuff for you to go through if you're interested)

* Washed clothes. The second load of laundry is in the washer, with maybe one more to go. Priority? Work clothes. I don't have 6 pairs of pants that are presentable, so Scott will be washing some more on his days off.

* Also, 5,132. And that's all I have to say about that!

Not getting done today:

* Haircut. We're getting to the critical level here, so I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go before work one day this week.

* Moving the new dresser in and the old dresser out. I'm not strong enough to move either on my own. (yes, even cheap particle board is heavy!) That's also on the "some day before work" agenda.

Work in Progress

I rearranged our dining room/office today. Check it out:



Nope, this isn't the "before" picture!

Right now it still looks like a bomb exploded. But the potential is infinitely greater than the way it was before. Yes, there is still a pile-o-crap in the corner. But that laundry basket in the corner is full of stuff that Scott needs to weed through. And I threw out 2 garbage bags of stuff already. One little decorative screen, and that corner could be its own little closet.

The two biggest changes:

• I set up the old computer on the square table, but only until I can transfer the photo files on that computer onto a CD. Once the important files are off the computer, we'll have to decide whether or not to toss it out the window. That could potentially become the game computer.
• The tall wood table with stools has been moved up next to the kitchen counter so that it's almost an extension of counter space. It also opens up the possibility of eating a dinner for two some place other than on the couch in front of the TV. Once the stuff on top of that table finds a home, I think that space is going to end up utilized very often.

I also had to move the garbage can, which used to sit right where that tall table is now. For now, it's sort of floating in the kitchen. There's also still a lot of paperwork and random odds and ends to sort through. This, however, is a great start. I'm proud of how I spent this afternoon.

Work in Progress

We tore apart the living room. Now it looks an awful lot like one of those "find the ____" pictures. Find 2 cats. Find the Nittany Lion statuette. Find the belt. Find 2 places where Milo has clawed the crap out of our furniture. Find Dumb & Dumber. Find the vacuum. Find the pineapple candle.

Isn't this fun???

Actually, we had to move the white bookshelf from its position in the corner because it was blocking the cable jack. Yep, the cable guy comes tomorrow! Since we had to move that one out of the way, we decided it would be a good time to rearrange. The white shelf is in its new home. Everything else, however, is in flux until after the cable guy leaves. We think we're going to angle the TV in the corner where the white bookshelf used to be, and put the bookshelves on either side of it. If we decide against that, the TV and the one shelf are going to stay where they are, and the other shelf is going to move in on the other side of the TV. That would certainly be easier, but Scott doesn't like the view from the man chair.

More on this story as it develops. For now, we're off to straighten the living room a bit, and then to tackle the clutter in the bedroom.