Apart from the Apartment

Scott finished cleaning out the apartment today while I was working my O.T. shift. Yay Scott!

Of course, he proudly proclaimed that the "finished" apartment had a roll of paper towels and two or three other things left in it. That's ok - we have to go back over there to return the keys anyway. What's one more trip up the stairs?

The sad part is that Monday is the 30th, which means either I'm going to have to go over before work or Scott is going to have to go after work.

The happy part is that we'll never have to go back there again. Take our security deposit. We're just glad to be out of there.

Problem

"The problem with having ants in your pants is that occasionally one falls out and bites your foot." Jamie-ism

For the past week, Scott and I have noticed a little family of ants in our bathroom. There were never more than two or three at a time, and they weren't near us, just walking across the floor. They weren't anywhere else in the house either. We couldn't figure out where they came from or where they were going, and we didn't really care.

Then I saw one in front of the washer.

Then I had one crawling on my shirt in the living room.

Then my pinkie toe started itching like crazy.

Last night I saw one bump on my toe and wasn't 100% sure it was a bug bite. I thought maybe it was one of those weird water blisters (that's what we called them growing up - not sure that's a common phrase) that I occasionally get on my fingers. Then a while later I noticed there were two of them. Definitely bites. So I put a blob of Benadryl cream on a band-aid and mummified my weirdest, tiniest appendage.

Time to get rid of the ants.

So when I was done with my shower this morning, I put the hamper in the middle of the floor and sprayed some Raid (turns out our roach killer is actually ant & roach killer. how convenient!) around the border of the floor. Hopefully that solves our little situation. At the very least it should slow them down for a few days and give my toe a chance to heal in peace.

Yard Sale

There's a yard sale on April 18, and since I don't work until the afternoon that day (and since Scott should be scheduled off as well), I think I'm going to take the opportunity to clean house and get rid of all sorts of stuff that I'd rather not box up and move in a few months.

For now, I'm trying to figure out how to price things. I thought that all of you readers (ha) might have some input. Here's a basic list of categories:

• Paperback books
• Hard cover books
• Random Theme Park plushes
• VHS tapes
• Disney pins
• Ice cream maker (that we got from Reyna but never used)
• Knick knacks
• Christmas tree stand

Frankly, I'd be thrilled to get 50 cents each (3/$1) for the paperbacks and the VHS. The pins that I have are mostly limited edition, cast exclusives, or 5-10 years old, and for that reason I don't think I'd take less than $1 for any of them. Plus, they take up almost no space so there's no reason to sell them for way too under value (90% off is cheap enough!!).

Who Are The People in Your Neighborhood?

Scott and I have had some very colorful neighbors in this building...

Mia, our first downstairs neighbor, who had aerobic sex on weekend mornings,

Ghetto Superstar, our second downstairs neighbor, whom we hated. He of the loud wall-shaking music. To be fair, I think he hated us as much as we hated him. I can't imagine why! ;-)

Granny-Smokes-a-Lot: her granddaughter used to get dropped off by the school bus outside our side of the building, but Granny lived on the parking lot side. The bus would sit there and idle and HONK HONNNNNNNNK until Granny would come to get the girl. This was tough on us because each of us worked grave shift at some point and would be woken up by the noise.

There's also Mr. Loud Car down on the first floor, a.k.a. Taco Bell Guy, a.k.a The Drug Dealer. This guy is now on his second loud car - the kind that's been modified to be even louder, guaranteed to wake you from a sound sleep while it idles for five minutes before he goes anyway. Scott noticed that he starts the car and then walks around it as if he's doing a NASA-grade safety inspection or something. Quite often, he does the car starting ritual, leaves, and comes back 15 minutes later. Scott used to joke that he was going to Taco Bell. "Where else could he be going and getting back so fast?"

Now that our windows are open, we get to know even more about him. That's because he's always on his cell phone. I'm convinced that he's a low level dealer of some type of drug, and that he gets a call for a delivery and that's why he's not gone for long. Or he has an elderly family member that lives close by, and he drives over to help them to the bathroom or something.

One night, I was sitting by the window playing on the DS and he came rolling in. As soon as the car door opened, Scott and I both heard his whole conversation. There were lots of expletives thrown in (so we can also surmise that he doesn't have a good vocabulary), but the gist was "I just came from Taco Bell and they charged me for guacamole but I didn't get it." And so, Scott claimed victory, now having proof that Taco Bell Guy does in fact go to Taco Bell!

This building is definitely more like Avenue Q than Sesame Street!

Happy Horse S--t

If Scott ever calls you up at work and the first thing out of his mouth is, "listen to this happy horse shit," just hang up and don't answer the phone for the rest of your shift. Trust me, it'll make your life simpler!



He did this to me Monday when he got home from work. Why? The apartment people left us a memo on our door that said:

Your home is scheduled for a pest clean out treatment. This service involves intensified application of all cabinets in both the kitchen and bathroom areas...



For best results, you must remove all products, dishes, pots, glasses, paper goods, etc. from these areas. When removing these items, please place them in the living room or bedrooms away from treatment areas so our technicians can work more effectively...


Scheduled cleanout date: 10/22/08

Someone was happy to hear the news - this is Milo in a box, inside a box, on top of another box! The cardboard trifecta!

So they gave us one full day to basically empty out the kitchen and the bathroom. That's five years worth of accumulated stuff in a day. I managed to score two empty boxes from work, and we found 2 other empty boxes and 2 laundry baskets in the house. First we cleaned the living room (which was our original plan for the day). Then we cleaned the kitchen. Then we pulled everything out of the cabinets and pantry.

It's possible the fumes from the "poison cabinet" under the kitchen sink may have gotten to Scott.

The end result? A temporary disaster area. Of course, once we are allowed to reload the cabinets and the closets, the result will be a much cleaner home. We'll still need to clean out the random crap accumulated in the dining room and the bedroom, but at least the living room will be clean and clear for a while!

Not pictured: The rolling "pantry," which has been relocated just outside the kitchen; the Christmas tree, which is stored in garbage bags because we couldn't get it apart to put it back in its box, and is now in the bedroom blocking me from getting to my pajamas or socks, or the kitchen counters, which are all cluttered with items for which there were no boxes.

We did learn some stuff in this endeavor:

1. Calling the office and yelling about the obscenely short notice won't do you any good.

2. Milo still doesn't like change. He spent most of yesterday exploring previously blocked-off areas and then growling and hissing at anyone who came near him.

3. Kraft boxed macaroni and cheese has an expiration date.

4. Elphie wants to go to the Good Will. I assume this because she has been in/on the box of unwanted dishes and kitchen wares since it came out of the pantry. By the way, if anyone needs a skillet or three with the non-stick mostly scraped off, a set of six sundae glasses, a plastic plate with Pocahontas on it, or 2 white coffee mugs with the Gevalia logo on them (and gold around the rim) please let me know. I don't even think Good Will wants that stuff!

5. A freshly mopped floor is a magnet for spills. Last night we lost some purple beer (good recommendation, Janette. Scott really liked it) and a cup of Papa John's garlic butter. Watch your step!

Seven garbage bags and 12 hours after we started, we were done. And I mean DONE. We were both passed out before 11:30 last night.

And now all we can do is wait. We can't cook because the stove top is covered by appliances that came out of the cabinets and the oven is full of pots and pans. We can't do the dishes because the dishwasher is full of clean dishes that needed a home. We have dinner plans tonight, but I'm hesitant to leave the house if they haven't come by then because I don't want the cats and the guinea pig to become desegregated in our absence.

I guess Scott was right. Horse shit. Total horse shit.

King of the Rock?

Nah... I think Princess of the rock is more appropriate!

I'll be honest: Scott put Elphie up on the top shelf of the climbing tree. Don't judge us too harshly - it's just that none of our cats ever climbed higher than the second shelf. We wanted to see what she would do. She sat, she lounged, she played with the pull-string on the blinds. I think it's safe to say she liked it. Confirmation of this fact came within a half hour when we both sat stunned (my mouth agape) watching her do this:

She's climbing! And this isn't normal cat-in-a-tree climbing with claws. She's climbing this thing* like a freaking ladder! The wires aren't that thick - I can't believe she enjoys climbing it. But we witnessed her doing it three separate times. Luckily, she doesn't seem too freaked out by the height - she also jumps down from 5 feet up when she's done.

My guess? She likes being king - no, princess - of the rock!

And Mom, to answer your question, I really don't know how they get along. I think the relationship looks quite healthy and happy. They certainly don't cuddle, but the boys seem to take turns chasing and being chased by Elphie. Kilo gets her on her back and bites her throat and her belly, but she doesn't fight/bite/scratch/yell so I'm guessing it's no rougher than when I "attack" her belly. We watched her last night jump off the "coffee table" (see below) straight onto Milo's head, and then they chased each other around for a while. It's more fun to watch than the Olympics.

Also, the Olympics are more fun to watch when you have a kitten stretched across your chest or curled up next to you.

Hell, everything is better with kitten.

*"This thing" is one of Scott's two plant shelves made of cubes. Formerly found on the balcony, they moved inside on Sunday due to impending exterior painting of our apartment building. The painting was slated for two full weeks, but the notice said 2 final coats of colored paint, which is what I believe they put up today. Who knows? The other plant shelf is currently in the middle of the living room, laying flat, acting as temporary coffee table/cat bed (there's a blanket thrown over it).

Mail Call

It's probably for the best that I don't own Post-It notes. Otherwise, the following would be on my downstairs neighbor's front door:

G.S. -

Glad to hear that you're getting laid, but would prefer to not actually hear when you're getting laid.

-P.H.

Honestly, two nights in a row after midnight is a bit much for me to stomach. When Mia lived downstairs, her romps were at least entertaining. His romps are so... aerobic that they jingle my wind chime alarm clock!

...at least they don't last very long.

600th Post - How Appropriate That It's A Rant

Blogger tells me this is my 600th post. Seems a great milestone to be all retrospective and proud of my little blog. But it's after 3 am. My legs hurt. My heart hurts. And I'm still not 100% sure I'm not going to cry. (don't worry - it's just adrenaline - sounds much worse than it is)

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An Open Letter to the @$$HOLE Downstairs:

I wasn't kidding. Next time, I will call the sheriff's office. And in case you didn't hear the words I was screaming when my husband clapped his hand over my mouth, I called you a son of a bitch. Do you know why? That's what I call people who wake me up at 1:30 in the morning with their floor-shaking thump-thump music.

Yes, I jumped up and down in the middle of my dining room. And when that didn't stop your music, I jumped up and down even harder and longer in the middle of my living room. And then the music stopped. But I still can't believe you had the audacity to knock on MY door and tell ME that I was inconsiderate for stomping on your ceiling (I'll just assume that's what you meant when you said "you don't gotta be stompin on my ceilin.").

I'm not going to stomp any more. The fury-filled-adrenaline-rush-jumping-and-stomping-spree left me with sore feet, and I have random muscle cramps in both legs. But I have used this sleepless time constructively. I found the non-emergency phone number for the local Sheriff's Office and posted it for easy reference under my computer monitor. Your floor-shaking loud music hardly seems like a reason to call 911, but it is against the law, and I'm sick of playing nice.

We have called the apartment managers on five separate occasions to complain about your loud music. You haven't listened to them. Maybe you'll listen to the cops.

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Why is it so hard for people to understand that apartment buildings aren't sound-proof booths? I am so sorry I ever thought unkind thoughts about Mia and her boyfriend having loud sex on weekend mornings. I would give anything to have the door-slamming aerobics instructor back. And I am incredibly disappointed that we didn't upgrade to a two bedroom (in another building) when we renewed our lease for another year.

Here it is, now after 3:30 in the morning. I have to be up at 8:00 to go into work and train for six hours. Yeah, definitely not going to make it through the next 18 hours without crying. I'm so damn exhausted and I still can't sleep. And it's definitely too late to take anything. Oh well, at least the Tylenol seems to have helped a little with the leg cramps. Maybe I'll get two or three hours of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Still Progressing

The cable guyS were here yesterday to hook up the digital cable. Now we have hundreds of channels and nothing on. And even The Daily Show is in repeats, so there's no point in trying out the DVR.



On the bright side, Milo certainly enjoyed the visit from strangers yesterday. Especially since one of the strangers came with a box full of tiny plastic and metal things to bat around. I spent the entire time the guys were here trying to a) keep Milo out of the box of cable bits, b) trying to keep Milo out of the bedroom (since the guys were unfamiliar with the concept of keeping closed doors closed), c) checking to make sure Kilo was still alive and hadn't died in the corner from fright, d) keeping Milo out of the box of cable bits AGAIN!





Now that the cable is hooked up, we got the bookshelves and the TV where we want them. Of course, now we have to fit all of the books, photos, tapes, etc. back on the shelves. And I'm going to move the brown chair to the other wall to open up the entry a bit.

For now though, I have a headache. Again. Blah!

Work in Progress

We tore apart the living room. Now it looks an awful lot like one of those "find the ____" pictures. Find 2 cats. Find the Nittany Lion statuette. Find the belt. Find 2 places where Milo has clawed the crap out of our furniture. Find Dumb & Dumber. Find the vacuum. Find the pineapple candle.

Isn't this fun???

Actually, we had to move the white bookshelf from its position in the corner because it was blocking the cable jack. Yep, the cable guy comes tomorrow! Since we had to move that one out of the way, we decided it would be a good time to rearrange. The white shelf is in its new home. Everything else, however, is in flux until after the cable guy leaves. We think we're going to angle the TV in the corner where the white bookshelf used to be, and put the bookshelves on either side of it. If we decide against that, the TV and the one shelf are going to stay where they are, and the other shelf is going to move in on the other side of the TV. That would certainly be easier, but Scott doesn't like the view from the man chair.

More on this story as it develops. For now, we're off to straighten the living room a bit, and then to tackle the clutter in the bedroom.

Up Up and Away

It's Monday Photo Shoot time! Show off a picture taken from a height. "A height" you can define as "Higher than I could shoot a picture by holding the camera over my head." Pictures from planes, from the observation decks of skyscrapers, from the roof of your house (although I don't want to put yourself in physical danger to take a picture) or wherever is up there in the air.

Well, Scalzi had an amazing picture of NYC taken from an airplane to show off this week. Thus the photo shoot. I, however, am in short supply of really high heights. I do, however, live on the third floor of my building and have a different perspective from up here. I really wanted a picture from the top of a palm tree, but it turns out none of my windows are near one. So I settled for "street lamp from above" instead.

Of course, that's a little boring. So I'm also showing off my workplace from a height of... umm... outer space, courtesy of Google Maps:


The red roof made it much easier to find than the warehouse building I used to work in!

What? My Tax Dollars Work???

I wrote a letter, an excerpt of which I would now like to share with you:

Due to the ongoing widening of US 27, a lane shift was enacted 2 days ago onto a new section of road, ending at 192. At this time, the intersection of 27 and ##### became extremely unsafe. There are a total of 3 left turn lanes across 27 (2 from Wal Mart onto 27 S and 1 from ##### onto 27 N) and there is not enough space in the intersection for all three lanes to turn at the same time. I personally have narrowly missed an oncoming car twice already.

Also, the lanes exiting ##### have been painted incorrectly. According to the arrows painted on the street, there is one lane for left turns and going straight, and one lane for right turns only. However,there is a left turn arrow, so those abiding the law and waiting in that lane to go straight are blocking access during the green arrow for anyone behind them wishing to turn.

Those of you who actually pay attention to the ramblings on here will have probably thought, "oh - Jamie flipped off some old people at that intersection a few days ago!" The arrow painting I didn't even notice until yesterday morning when I left for work and had to go across 27 to fill up my tank.

I got to work, and got on my "power to the people" activist soap box. I decided to find out who in FDOT to call and complain, and then I was going to e-mail their phone number and a script to everyone we know in our apartment complex. The website, however, had convenient e-mail links for construction, safety, right of way, and a dozen other "concerns." So I sent an e-mail to those three (you know - that one up at the top of this entry) figuring that my concern fell to all three departments.

Yesterday was Sunday. And today is a government holiday. Imagine my surprise when I got a call from guy named Bill this afternoon apologizing for the striping error and telling me that it had been fixed! I called Scott, who sounded dubious, reporting that there had been about 30 guys in the middle of the road when he left for work. So I decided to walk down to the intersection and see it for myself.

Would you look at those beautiful arrows? Not only do my tax dollars work, but they work on holidays (probably for overtime pay... but let's not think of that right now). Sure, there's still a backhoe - or whatever - in the middle of the highway. Sure, there's a stop sign with a flag sticking out the side so that the morons from my apartment complex don't drift into the intersection like we've become accustomed to. But now I won't have to worry about a) breaking the law or b) getting honked at by a left turner when I go to the gas station.

While I was out, I also took a few pictures of the new condos being sold in the front of the complex. First, I'd like to mention that these condos start in the $190's for a one bedroom. One hundred ninety thousand dollars for a one bedroom condo on top of a Chinese restaurant (or worse, over the 24-hour fitness center). No, the toilets aren't made of gold. Although apparently the appliances are stainless steel.

I noticed a few balconies with a rather unique feature: a total lack of balcony! I am guessing that this is just some safety gate to stop the construction guys from stepping out for a smoke and plummeting to the lovely brickwork below.

Of course, the balconies that actually are balconies aren't much better. They are WAY small. Probably small enough that furniture out there isn't an option. And without furniture, do you really want to stand on this in bare feet or sit on it? Ouch!

Alas, that "town square" is really pleasant to walk around. Hopefully some day there will be more than the three currently advertised shops filling that bottom section. And who knows? Maybe life a mere seconds from won ton soup is somebody's American dream.

All About the Food...

What would a post about food be without a picture of my custom m&m? She's drinking coffee and wearing bunny slippers because I was cold (and still am) when I designed her. Want to make your own? Click here!

Really, the point of this entry is to tell you what we're having for lunch today: braised pork chops in cider-horseradish cream sauce. I was going to link to the recipe, but apparently theotherwhitemeat.com is having some issues with its recipe search this morning. Anyway, we're out of baby carrots, so we're going to have spinach instead. I'll be sure to post an update to let you know how they've come out.

As for the rest of the day, Scott is working, and I am going to Mike and Reyna's to help them pack for their big move tomorrow. I'm not exactly sure where they are moving to, but she says it's closer to us. And it's in a house. That's a step in the right direction. Every other renter we know is moving into our apartment complex. Really, 3 of my former co-workers are here, 1 of my current co-workers, and Scott says he knows almost 10 others. It's time to move!

Update: the pork chops were decent. the recipe could use a little tweaking - more horseradish maybe - but I found it highly edible.

Great Feats of Cash

Weekend Assignment: What's the best money you've ever spent? Whether it's something you love, something you use all the time or something that doesn't owe you a nickel, what is it?

I've spent a lot of money on a lot of stupid crap over the course of my life. And I have a lot of stupid crap to show for it. But the best money I ever spent was on something that I have nothing to show for now -- my first apartment on my own. I was spending $380/month on a tiny studio apartment, and barely eeking by. There was no ceiling fan, no garbage disposal, no dishwasher, and barely any space. It was truly a shoebox. But it was my shoebox. I lived there without anyone else helping me with the bills, or telling me to do laundry, or expecting anything from me at all. It taught me independence, and I proved to myself that I could do it on my own. I think that's something every young adult should experience, if even just for a year.

Extra Credit: Aside from food, what's the next purchase you plan to make?

The next major purchase will probably be a TV, or a TV stand. Ours is dying and every day the picture gets a little worse. And the ones we're looking at have side-mounted speakers and won't fit in our entertainment center.