Turnpike Trouble

I have a bad history of getting turned around on the Florida Turnpike.  Back in 2003, I went south when I should've gone north and ended up spending the night in Yeehaw Junction.  It's a much longer and funnier story, but apparently my original blog was wiped off of its server before I could archive it.  You'll just have to take my word for it!

Last year, I got the Turnpike and 408 mixed up and ended up near the Florida Mall instead of my car dealership on East Colonial.

So today?  It's shameful, but not surprising.  Take a look at this image.  I started out at Track Shack (uppper-right corner) and was supposed to follow the blue line left towards home.  Instead, I took the scenic red route.

Here's what happened:

I took 408 westbound toward home, and decided not to take the 50 exit because I wanted to avoid the Ocoee traffic/traffic lights.  I thought I'd merge onto the Turnpike and get off near Winter Garden Village to stop at Publix for dinner fixin's.  Where 408 ended, my options were Turnpike North or South.  My muscle memory told me to go North, but my brain had a moment of panic and at the last minute I decided to go South.

I was literally about 10 feet past where the concrete barricade on the right starts when I realized I had gone the wrong direction.  Even worse: I was pretty sure there were no exits before I-4.

There's a service plaza a few minutes down the road -- one of those that exists in the middle of the road so it's accessible to travelers going both directions -- but I figured I wouldn't be able to switch directions there.  As I drove past, I noticed some of the signage at the exit of the service plaza.

I could've switched directions there.

So I went all the way to I-4 and then meandered around the back side of Disney towards home.  The trip that Google Maps tells me should've only taken 23 minutes ended up taking more than an hour.  Like I said, it's shameful but not surprising.  I'm an excellent navigator, but not when I'm also the pilot.

Mischief Managed

Scott and Katie and I tried to go to the corn maze this afternoon, but despite getting there almost 3 hours before closing time we were turned away. The experience wasn't positive, and I'm very sad because I'd been looking forward to going for 3 years. So we went to World Market in search of eclectic things instead. Katie got a cool hat, Scott got 2 fun new glasses, and I got a bottle of cherry soda. (I told you I was sad!)

And then I walked over and caught Scott being mischievous. He was doing our old trick of setting all of the timers so that they go off at the same time and then walking away. I had to take a picture of his handiwork:

It was the look in his eyes as he flipped them over that made me smile. And when I asked what he was doing and he responded wide-eyed that he was "setting all the timers so that they go off at the same time," I belly laughed.

And if I do say so myself, that's a pretty sweet picture. There is one other picture I took today, of the sign across from the corn maze parking lot (where, by the way, we were greeted by a man dressed as a scarecrow, complete with burlap sack over his face!):

Had it said "Grower of Truly Truly Truly Outrageous Sod," I would've hopped out of the car and made someone take my picture with it!

Decision

Neither of the B&B's that I really liked online were available, and I took that as a sign.

We talked about it this morning, and Scott and I decided to put off our big vacation to Moab until this time next year, when we're hopefully in much better shape than we are now. The idea of hiking the trails of Arches or Canyonlands in my current lack of shape... I just think we'll get more out of it later on.

Make no mistake though, I will get to Dead Horse Point State Park before I die. I need to see this in person!
(plus, there's a brewery that makes "Dead Horse Ale" - you know we need that pint glass for our collection!!)

Don't feel sad for us. We're still going to GTFOH, we're just not sure where yet! One of the online travel sites - I think Travelocity - does last-minute discount packages all over the country. So depending on what's cheap, we're probably going to aim for the mid-Atlantic - NYC, Philly, or DC - for a long weekend.

Atlanta: Travel

I got the e-mail that I made it into Encore this year, and that has lifted my spirits. At least it's something to look forward to in the month of June! So now that I've stopped pouting a little bit, I can start to think about vacation again.

Chapter One: Travel
Planes, Trains and Automobiles

We flew Spirit Air to Atlanta, thanks to their notoriously cheap fares: sure you have to pay for snacks, drinks, and checked baggage, but you're not going to find a cheaper flight!

I was starting to freak out because I hadn't been able to print my boarding passes online the night before or the morning of our flight. When we got to the airport, I tried again at an automated kiosk and still couldn't print them. Thankfully, the lady at the desk had no trouble. I thanked her and we headed toward security. As we walked away, I laughed because the agent had circled information on my boarding pass and not on Scott's. Ha! I'm special!

"Special" is apparently a synonym for "selectee." As we got through security, I got taken to a special line (they let Scott come with me) where my bags were x-rayed, opened and swabbed for mystery chemicals. I meanwhile was walked through the metal detector and then frisked. I couldn't believe that some strange woman was squeezing my armpits (no, not boobs... though I may have just blocked that part from my memory) and patting me down. It was mercifully quick, and I was reunited with my stuff and had my shoes on before Scott did! He missed the whole episode.

Then I spent the next two hours sitting at the gate being pissed off and traumatized. As much as I'd like to believe that it was the suitcases, I know that my "random" selection was made before we even got to the airport. That's why I couldn't print my stuff from home. My immediate reaction was something along the lines of, "the TSA reads my blog...and isn't a fan!" And when two TSA agents showed up at the gate (the woman already wearing her rubber gloves), I nearly threw up. I was so thankful to get out of Orlando.

Aside from a pilot who was sort of a dick, a little lap-sitter who kicked my seat the whole time, and a sweaty man in the seat next to me who asked to borrow my cell phone, the flight was quick and easy and we made it to Atlanta only 1/2 hour late. In Atlanta, we managed to navigate through the airport to the train station, buy our round trip tickets from a machine that gave change in $1 coins, and get on the train with almost no difficulty. We got off the train at the correct stop and made it to the hotel with a 5 minute walk.

The area in a one-block radius of the station was very ghetto, but I never really felt unsafe. And for the remainder of our vacation, we walked everywhere. I love that about cities.

We took the same route back - walked to the train station, train to the airport, etc.

Atlanta airport security seems to be more efficient than Orlando. I was surprised, since I never really thought of Atlanta as more than a hub. We made it through security with no special surprises, but I did make an observation: it's probably best to not wear your bedazzled shirt to the airport. Those little baubles are going to set off the metal detector, leaving your husband to deal with your four children and all of the bags by himself. And he's not going to have the common sense to get out of everyone else's way. And people may or may not feel bad when they accidentally bonk one of your children with their carry-on bag, bouncing their head into the plexi-glass wall behind them.

...not that I know any of that from personal experience!

Our flight home was an exercise in tolerance. There was a group of five drunk loud lesbians who thought the rest of the plane was amused by their shouts to each other. Really, most of us wanted to strangle them. I know it wasn't just me and Scott - there were other people talking about them at baggage claim.

Oh yeah - baggage claim! Because the flight was full, the airline asked people to voluntarily gate check their wheeled suitcases. Well I didn't want to pay to check the bag, but was perfectly happy to not have to deal with the overhead bins, so I passed my bag over to them. The highlight of our travel day was seeing our suitcase come onto the carousel, Scott go to grab it, and me yelling, "YARGH! Tis my luggage!"

No one was amused but me... but I laughed all the way to the car!

What Do YOU Think?

Do you think the TSA is going to have something to say about my new luggage? I can't wait to find out!

I found us a flight to Atlanta that is just a hair more expensive than driving would have been, and then discovered that a) they charge for checked luggage, and b) all of my suitcases that used to be carry-on size are now larger than they allow. Shopping trip!!

I don't understand. Did the airplanes get smaller in the past 5 years?

Also, I'm torn - do I wear my sneakers so that there's more room in the bags, or wear my flip flops so I don't have to take my shoes off? Actually, I already know I'm wearing sneakers. Oh yeah - and that sunscreen that I just bought? More than 3 ounces. Crap!

But back to the suitcase: what seemed like a fun, whimsical idea in the aisle at Wal Mart now worries me. What if I get subjected to a BCS because some government lackey on a power trip decides I'm making some sort of veiled threat? What if the people at the hotel laugh at me? This bag might be better suited for a trip to Disney than a trip out of Orlando.

Oh well... at least if I do end up having the check the bag (ever) it'll be easy to spot on the baggage carousel!

Wicked Was Good...Tampa Was Not

Scott and I had a really good time at the show last night. It was a lot more smoke and mirrors than I prefer, but a show about witches obviously needs to include special effects. The cast was really talented, and even though we had nosebleed seats, it was still a great show.

That being said, it's going to take the second coming of Aida to get me back to that city. Not only was all of downtown Tampa under some sort of construction, our exit off the interstate was closed and the next exit dumped us into some west-side ghetto with no stores or gas stations and we looped through downtown (once we found it) about 3 times deciding whether to find an ATM for parking money or park a few blocks away on the street (we lucked out with a spot 2 blocks away).

Tampa is also severely short on eating establishments. We walked 2 blocks from our car (opposite direction from the theater) to a mom & pop pizza place, but gave up on it when we saw the chairs up on top of the tables. Dinner ended up being 2 muffins, 2 cokes, and a pack of Twizzlers from the theater lobby ($16).

After the show, we left downtown and went back towards our hotel. In that neighborhood (east Tampa), there are plenty of grocery stores and fast food chains. Sadly, most were closed by the time we got there. We tried McDonald's, but they must have been understaffed - people weren't using the squawk box to order, they were just driving up to the window. So we kept going. Ten miles later, we settled on a Subway inside a gas station. Processed chicken has never tasted so good.

Luckily, the Days Inn we stayed at (my opinion: if a hotel is roach-free, I don't care if there are prostitutes and drug dealers as long as they don't knock on my door) had non-lumpy mattresses and we got a good night's sleep before heading back home this morning.

Today concludes our mini-vacation. Tomorrow begins my "marathon" four days of work before our real vacation. I'm so glad that trip won't require driving unfamiliar roads!

(and for anyone wondering about my tooth, it is MUCH better. I've "only" taken 6 pills so far today. it still hurts at times, but I'm pretty sure it's going to stay in my mouth)

My Little Little World

Above you will find the state of Florida. I have not left the state of Florida since spring of 2004 when I went to my cousin Dawn's wedding in Pennsylvania. Sadly enough, I realized just how small my world has become in the last 18 months when I pulled up this map and put some dots in the places I've traveled:

• As far Northeast as the Altamonte Mall (wedding dress shopping with Beth)
• As far Northwest as Hernando Beach
• As far Southwest as Venice Beach with some people who no longer speak to eachother.

Is it too late to make a resolution to freakin' go somewhere? Honestly, I want to hop on a $99 flight to anywhere other than here. Or maybe a cruise ship. I don't really like Nassau...but I'll take it over Orlando! I'll even let the crazy women braid my hair if it means adding another pin to the 2006 map.

this message has been brought to you by a woman who made a circle of about 3 blocks today - to the rental office, the mailbox, and home again. 'stir crazy' might be an understatement!