Out of the Loop

I'll be honest: I missed the whole Marie Claire kerfuffle a few days back. I knew something was up because I read a few random tweets about it, but I am just about at my saturation point for journalists (and I use that term loosely) saying stupid things and being fired so I tuned out.

Then one of my favorite author-bloggers took the magazine to task.

Nutshell: columnist writes ridiculously insensitive column about how fat people gross her out. Nope, I'm not oversimplifying:

"So anyway, yes, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other ... because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything. To be brutally honest, even in real life, I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room — just like I'd find it distressing if I saw a very drunk person stumbling across a bar or a heroine addict slumping in a chair."

And so Jenn Lancaster, author of comic memoirs such as My Fair Lazy and Such a Pretty Fat, has stepped up to the plate to offer a well-reasoned, thoughtful, humorous, and downright amazing analysis and response. It's long, and you should read every word. Here's one paragraph to set the mood:

"Here’s the thing - I’ve spent my career trying to give readers the message that they should love themselves no matter what. I’ve worked hard to set the kind of example that will help empower women to embrace who they are and what they look like. Sometimes I’m stupid and vain and I get caught up in silly things like whether or not my teeth are properly whitened, but the point is I do my best to build myself – and, by extension, other women – up and I get pissed off when some self-righteous asshole tells us we aren’t of value because we don’t fit into some arbitrary standard of beauty."

I read the rest of the post with tears in my eyes, ready to attend a Fatty Rally and wave a Cacique bra over my head with one hand while holding a Five Guys burger in the other. I read the whole thing out loud to Scott. When I finished, his response was, "I love her!" And I love her too. And I agree with Jenn's ultimate conclusion that the girl who wrote the Marie Claire piece isn't the enemy. She's got opinions, and God love her for being brave enough to share them with the world. But shame on Marie Claire. Well, I guess they won't have to focus on plus-size fashion for a while - my guess is they just lost themselves an entire demographic!

As for Jenn, I've never actually read any of her books. I've got one that I bought earlier this month and hid from myself so that I'd have something new to read on the cruise. Maybe as a thank-you to her, I'll buy another one. After all, Scott will need something to read too!

Things That Make Me Go Stabby

Attention Parents: please stop screwing with libraries. Please don't ask the librarians to wade into the murky gray area of "inappropriate." (I love the smell of mixed metaphors in the morning!)

LEESBURG – A Leesburg mother who successfully challenged the young-adult book policy at the Leesburg Public Library is expanding her campaign, hoping to get warning labels placed on some books in libraries across the county.

Dixie Fechtel recently got the backing of Liberty Counsel, a conservative legal-advocacy group in Maitland. She's asking Lake County commissioners and library officials to label objectionable books aimed at middle- and high-school students.

Fechtel and another Leesburg mother, Diane Venetta, are targeting books that Fechtel says are "glorifying illegal behavior."

"What we're talking about here [are books] depicting a lifestyle that just doesn't work if they're going to be the leaders of our nation," she said. "It's a shame that we as a community are feeding [teens] this kind of garbage."

One of the books that started the mom on her quest was a "Gossip Girl" novel. Umm...hello? You didn't know that was going to be inappropriate (and crap) just by the title? Apparently she's already managed to somehow convince the Leesburg library to label some Young Adult books "high school" and put them on a special shelf in the YA section. The kicker? Kids aren't restricted from checking out any book in the section. So now you've just made it easier for the kids to find books about drugs and sex. Just go to the "high school" section!

Look, I was a precocious kid and a voracious reader when I was little. I was reading Sweet Valley High books when I was in the 4th grade. That's inappropriate subject material! You know what? It didn't turn me into anything bad.

Deborah Caldwell-Stone, deputy director of the American Library Association's Office for Intellectual Freedom in Chicago, said labeling books would put a burden on libraries and force librarians to act as parents.

"The whole issue of rating content gets into the rat's nest of who decides what's too much, what's too little, what is banned and what is not," she said. "What it comes down to is: It's the parent's decision."

So why not simply ask the parents to be parents? Why not expect them to talk to their children and know what they are reading and watching on TV? Why not use the books with questionable themes as a learning opportunity? Oh yeah, because it's easy to ask the librarians (whose funds and staffing have been cut all over the country, but that's another story) to parent your children for you.

Maybe these moms got their ideas from a book that should be marked for its questionable content!

Night Terrors

Reading Between the Tweets

I sent a bunch of rapid-fire Twitter messages this morning, and there was so much more to share that I thought I would use them to add color to the story of my morning.

Scott woke up around 5:00 this morning, and was surprised that I was still asleep. I woke up about 5 seconds later. The cause? Sideways rain was pelting our bedroom windows. These windows are north-facing and don't usually get direct impact rain. The rain was pretty surreal due to the near-strobe-light effect of constant lightning. I couldn't believe how bad it was out there. Scott went to the living room to turn off the computer, and I turned off the cable box in the bedroom. But it was so bad (sounded like we were inside a tin can) that we (I) decided to check the weather for a tornado warning. There was no tornado warning - just one cell directly over our home that was red and pink on the radar, though you couldn't even see the color until they turned off the lightning strike display!

This was the worst nighttime thunderstorm I had seen since the week I spent in Casselberry with my Great Grandmother when I was in junior high. I was terrified. As the storm was winding down, I joked with Scott that I was going to get on the floor and sleep between the bed and a pile of laundry baskets, just in case the roof crashed in. We fell back to sleep right around 5:30, having survived the crazy storm.

6:20: flashBANG! I think the lightning actually woke me up a split second before the thunder shook the walls. "Holy shit!" It's not that I wanted to yell. It was involuntary (sort of). I was NOT going to be awake and terrified by myself. This storm was worse than the first one, and that lightning strike was CLOSE!

If you thought waking up to 5am t-storm was bad, try 6:30 lightning strike followed by bldg fire alarm going off!

At first, we didn't know it was our building. It was a funny alarm, beeping twice, then a feeble chirp, and then it would stop for a few seconds. Right away, we thought that it was another building, but that it was a shorted out alarm. We heard the fire truck come into the development and decided to get out of bed and investigate. Upon opening the door to the living room, I nearly jumped out of my skin to the sound of a loud CHIRP! coming from the alarm right above my head! "Oh...I guess it's our building."

Side note: firefighters in full gear stopped to say good morning when they passed us in the hall!

We decided to put on more clothes - an undershirt and pair of shorts for Scott, and a bra and change of pants into less pajama-like black lounge pants for me. We couldn't go out on the balcony due to the continued sideways rain (having lived through a few hurricanes, I can tell you the rain and wind was just as bad this morning) so we wandered out into the outside hallway. We were walking towards the back of the building when we heard very heavy footsteps on the stairs near our door. And lo, there were two firefighters in full gear stomping up our steps! As they passed us, I was waiting for them to "rescue" us or something. Instead they said good morning, and kept walking. Thank goodness. Not only had we wandered outside without shoes, cats, keys or wallets, I wasn't even wearing underwear! I imagine they were just as confused to see us.

Another side note: not sure who's more spooked, me or the cats. I'm not hiding under any furniture, but I think I'm also staying awake.

Even now, Elph and Milo are extra cuddly. When we came out during the second storm, there were no cats. Then Elphie came out from under the blue chair, and Milo appeared from wherever he had been hiding. Kilo came out when he was sure the danger had passed.

update: channel 9 a-hole weather man just said this storm wasn't severe. wtf???

The storm let up a little bit, so Scott turned on the TV in the living room while I was sending out my rapid-fire tweets. I wish I knew what the criteria was for "severe" thunderstorm. If not high winds or sideways rain or thousands of lightning strikes, then what?? I'm sorry that I called the smiling guy an a-hole, but he shouldn't have marginalized my terror. Had this storm hit downtown Orlando or Seminole County the way it hit us, they would've been running wall-to-wall weather all morning.

At 7:00, we went back to bed. I finished one book* and started another, and Scott fell right back to sleep. At 7:45 I stopped reading, and decided to try to fall back to sleep. At 8:00 on the dot, just as I finally sunk into my pillow, I woke up to a low rumble - the unmistakable sound of a riding lawn mower. That's right, the lawn guys were back, mowing our swamp! I managed to fall back to sleep, and barely flinched when the alarm went off at 10. I woke up for real at 11, but only because I have to leave for work by 12:45.

Speaking of work, I should really go blow dry my hair.

* Dave Barry's collection of columns, "Boogers Are My Beat." Even if you never liked his humor, I suggest you find this book at your local library and read the last two essays. They are, to the best of my knowledge, the only non-humor columns he's ever written. One was written the week after 9/11, and the other was written a year after. It made me realize that Dave Barry isn't a silly guy who lucked into a writing gig. He's a really gifted writer. And that last story should be required reading for high school kids.

Seeing Double

For adoption: one hardcover copy of John Scalzi's The Android's Dream. The novel, which I would describe as SciFi comedy, has been read twice and the dust jacket is creased. Other than that, it's in perfect condition.

I decided to give away my original copy just after I found myself in possession of a personalized signed copy. I met John's wife and daughter last month, did them a favor, and the book was a thank-you for that.

This book is one of very few science fiction books in our collection. Neither of us is really a fan of the genre. Frankly, I was a fan of Scalzi as a blogger first, and as a novelist second. That said, I've read all of his novels. I love them, and would recommend them to anyone.

...so if anyone wants to give him a chance, I have a fun book to start with.

(just not this copy!)

Books A Go Go

This is going to be a quickie. I promised myself I'd go directly to bed as soon as I finished burning 2 copies of a rehearsal CD. The second copy just popped out, but I still have 1/2 glass of wine left.

Scalzi's Weekend Assignment: What books do you want to read - but haven't yet? These could be new books, classic books you've just not gotten around to, books you've bought but haven't cracked the spines of, or a book you want to get but for some reason haven't. The salient characteristic is that you want to read it, but just haven't yet.

Funny you should ask! A little over a month ago, I went and bought Sammy's House and two cheap used books at Books A Million. I devoured Sammy's House within the week, but have been saving the other two books for the next vacation. The cheap books are used library books that BAM was selling for $3 each: "The Amateur Marriage" and "The First 48." The first may or may not be a romance novel. The second is a crime drama (with the same title as one of Scott's favorite TV shows - that's why I picked it up in the first place). Another book that I want to read but haven't yet managed to get my hands on: The Lost Colony (darn you Scalzi for publishing the first chapter free online!). And in the "classics you've just not gotten around to" category, I'd like to read Gone With The Wind some day.

Extra credit: Do you usually prefer the book or the movie? The book, of course! My most recent literary disappointment was Bridge to Terabithia, but there are so many more - from Jurassic Park to Les Miserables to Harry Potter - that I can't even list them all! Although I must say, the first installment of Chronicles of Narnia was pretty good.

The Week of Potter

Well, most die-hard Harry Potter fans have already seen the movie (it premiered last week... I think). I just finished re-reading book 5, so Scott and I are going to see it today. Right now, I'm in the process of re-reading book 6 so that I'm fully refreshed when book 7 comes out this Friday at midnight.

Of course, I'm still looking for someone to go stand in the "loser line" at Wal Mart with me. Scott is working late that night.

Sometimes it's fun to be swept up in the hype. And I doubt that, in my lifetime, there will again be this much hype over a series of books. Besides, I can't risk not reading the last book right away, because I don't want to hear who dies or how it ends from anyone else before I can read it for myself.

In other book news, one of my favorite non-Potter books in recent years, Sammy's Hill (by Kristin Gore... yes, that Gore) has a sequel out called Sammy's House. I'm really excited about reading it - the blurb seems to have all the elements that made the original book so funny. Oh - and according to Amazon.com, Sammy's Hill is now under film development. Yay!

Off to the movies...

Happy New Year!

So... umm... I was trying to come up with this great post topic, because it's the first one of the year and might be a sign of things to come, but then I realized that I was putting pressure on myself for no reason. So here's a few paragraphs of what's been going on:

I read a book on Monday. Yep, 300+ pages of Hannibal Rising. I was underwhelmed. I kept reading and reading waiting to get to the point in the story where my heart would race. And it just never did. Even in Hannibal (the third Lecter book), which was about 200 pages too long, the story was thrilling. This one was flat and, in my opinion, uninspired. Sure, I found parts interesting. And I'll probably even see the movie when it comes out. But I have to agree with the Amazon.com readers who gave the book a mere 2 1/2 stars out of 5.

On Tuesday, Scott and I went to the movies. We saw Night at the Museum. It was everything I've come to expect from a Ben Stiller movie, including Owen Wilson. This was a very enjoyable popcorn flick that didn't try to be anything else. And I think we probably learned a little about history. I give the movie JJJJ out of JJJJJ, and I'll let you know after I've seen it a dozen more times whether I liked it or Zoolander better.

Today was my first shift of the new year. Please don't let it be a sign of things to come. By the time I finished reading my e-mail before my shift started, I was fed up. I really really need to have some face-to-face time with my manager when no one else is around so that I can find out if I really am the only one expected to do their job. It certainly feels that way. I am really making a concerted effort to not talk badly about my co-workers in front of GT (girl trainee. c'mon - it hasn't been THAT long!), but today I snowplowed right over my mental stop sign. I tried to stop, but I am so gall-dang frustrated with a certain co-worker's blatant disregard for the operation that I would love to spend a week doing exactly what she does just to see what happens to the entire restaurant. My guess: it wouldn't be pretty. My other guess: I'D get fired for it!

Scott and I also went over to Cat and Mike's house to meet their bird. They are going out of town for the weekend some time soon and I got roped into stopping by before work to feed and water him/her (it's a baby of unknown gender...he/she doesn't even have a name). I left there wanting a bird. This bird will just sit on your shoulder forever and groom you. You can walk around, or read a book, or watch TV and the bird just chills up there. Of course, if I had a bird it would probably end up just like ZoePig - afraid of people and not wanting to be touched. And I certainly am not in the market for a bird with my two killer watch cats keeping things safe!

Oh - and what's that in the middle of the living room floor? It's a Magic Bullet! My favorite infomercial now lives in my apartment!! I can't wait to make salsa and chicken salad and pesto and alfredo sauce and omelets and so much more with one simple machine! I have to say, this could be the coolest Christmas present I have not asked for and gotten since the year I got a DVD player from my dad and WSM (wicked step-mother... do I need to make a glossary for you???) (and yes, that was back when she was just the chick who was shacking up with my dad). Thank you, ShirleyMom!!!

Well, that's enough randomness for this entry. Stay tuned for my plea to womankind, coming some time in the next few days, and please keep checking in on my budget progress. So far: I have thought about making a budget. Not quite what I had hoped to have accomplished by this point!

Childrens Books

From Scalzi's Weekend Assignment: share your favorite book from when you were a child, say, when you were eight or ten years old.

The Dollhouse Murders, by Betty Ren Wright, changed my life. It's just a silly kiddie-horror book about a dollhouse that helps solve an old murder (or something like that...), but it's the book that forever made me a reader.

I picked up this book from the library cart in third grade*. Before that, I'd get the picture book about horses or the the thinnest book I could find on another topic. Reading just wasn't my bag, baby!

About 2/3 of the way through the book, I vividly remember running into the kitchen and grabbing my mom's hand and making her feel my heart - it was pounding out of my chest! Who knew reading could be like this??? From that moment on, I tore through all varieties of "kid lit" - Sweet Valley High, R.L. Stine, and so on. I had become a reader. And I still am to this day.

So while I can't say this was the best book I've ever read, it will always be a childhood favorite.

*the school was under construction and there was no library. Instead, the librarian came around with a cart, much like prison.

Banned Books

I wrote about Banned Books Week last year, and didn't really intend to devote a post to it again this year, but since I just got back from having my teeth cleaned and my entire mouth feels as though it was in its own personal earthquake, and because I absolutely love the BBW poster this year, I thought I'd mention it.

I continue to be shocked that Harry Potter, A Light in the Attic, and Where's Waldo are on the list. I get that the Jesus Freaks hate the HP books (not that I support a ban) but what, exactly, is wrong with a book of kid-friendly poetry? And Where's Waldo? Unless he's in a porn shop or Jeff Dahmer's kitchen, I can't IMAGINE why he's been banned!

My throbbing gums are preventing any further intelligent analysis, so, umm...

Go read a banned book!

Labor Day Sales

Scott and I set off for a miserable mall excursion today. The agenda: white clothes, whatever we could find. Of course, he was looking for work shirts, and I had my eye out for anything special. I really hate mall shopping. It's generally a pretty miserable experience. But this time we ended up spending less than $30 each for some pretty full bags of clothes. Scott caught a clearance sale at J.C.P and got 4 short-sleeve shirts for work (ok, 3 for work and a white one). We then hit about 5 other stores, finding nothing for me but white capri pants with tacky multi-color floral embroidery. But then I hit the mother load. I could've spent all day combing the clearance racks at Sears. I actually tried on 8 things, and bought 4 -- 2 white skirts, a white top, and a silky blue button-down. Yeah - Sears! I can't remember the last time I bought something for myself there. I thought they were beyond ghetto. Maybe they are - but whenever I can get a skirt for $7 I'm happy.

We also got a hardcover complete works of Edgar Allen Poe for $8 from Borders (also on clearance).

My most expensive purchase of the day was this $12 t-shirt. The printing is actually purple, but you know what type of pictures my camera takes indoors. I can't wait to have an excuse to wear it somewhere. Oh heck -- I'm going to have to make plans just to have somewhere to wear it!

So I guess this shopping trip wasn't so bad. But I'm still glad it's over and I don't have to do that again any time soon.

Weekend Assignment

Weekend Assignment #126: What is the most interesting thing about where you live? "Thing" in this case would be a famous landmark, a famous current celebrity or historical personage from your home town or county, a notable celebration or sports event -- basically, anything that makes where you're from interesting and unique.

While the actual town I call home isn't famous for much of anything, you don't have to go far to be swept up in a little bit of magic, a little bit of tacky, and a whole lot of tourists. I live 10 miles from Walt Disney World, and every day I drive past some of the most ridiculous landmarks around (turn left at the giant wizard? it works!).
These pictures, though not my own, are all of shops that I pass on my way to work. They are on Route 192 in Kissimmee, west of WDW. 192 is the Route 66 of Central Florida. This is where you go for generic "Florida" merchandise like beach towels and shot glasses and bags of oranges to mail home. I've lived up this way for 5 years, and have never set foot inside any of these crazy gift shops. Why? I guess I just don't need 5 t-shirts for 5 bucks!

Most of these icons have been around since the early days of Disney. Nowadays, the tourist-centric places are painted with waving US Flags and favor big LED signs to crazy sculpted entrances.

So in closing, I guess the "most interesting thing" about where I live is that it's the most popular tourist destination on the planet. I think that's pretty interesting!

Extra Credit: Are there any books that feature your home town (or someplace nearby) in any way?

Hahaha.... this one is just too easy! Here's a short list on amazon.com. Of course, the long list has 208 titles!

"Thank You"

I got a thank-you letter in the mail this week from the Biloxi Public Library for the books I donated. I thought that was nice. But when I actually read the letter, I was pretty shocked...

"We were thrilled to receive Time and Again, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, and Frankenstein and can hardly wait until we can put them back on the shelves at our library. These three very different classics will certainly enhance the library's collection."

That letter was not only personalized with the books that I chose, but someone actually took the time to come up with that last sentence. Honestly, with the number of books that they have received, I would've been happy to get a generic "thank you for your support" letter. But I thought that was especially cool.

Time for work!

A Long and Winding Entry

I have multiple topics to cover, and am just too scatter-brained to take the time to make multiple entries. So you're just going to have to bear with me while I canoe down my stream of consciousness.

Parkhopper's Charity of the Month

I found the Dewey Donation System through a link on one of my daily reads, By The Way...(the entry includes an interview with the founder of the DDS, author Pamela Ribon). Says Pamie of her annual book drives:

The Dewey Donation System came to be because I'm an accidental activist. My high school years were spent sending money to several charity organizations, but being stuck outside Houston without a car (and pre-Internet -- you kids have it so lucky!) made it so that I was limited to expressing myself through underground newspapers. Once my website caught on (pre-blogs, back when we were called "Internet diaries" or "online journals"), I was able to start making a living off of my writing. One day, while waiting for my first novel to come out, I read an article on the Oakland Public Library, and how they'd lost their acquisition funds, and had resorted to Amazon wish lists to ask complete strangers to send new books to their shelves. I wrote an entry about the importance of libraries -- how everybody from tweens to crackheads need a book -- and asked everybody to send a book Oakland's way. Within a few weeks, hundreds of books arrived at their doorsteps, and the librarians (being good Bay Area activists) were able to get the nation looking their way.

That kind of response was overwhelmingly rewarding, and so I did it again the next year with San Diego after their libraries were hit by wildfires, and the year after that we sponsored a village in India post-Tsunami. This year, when Katrina hit, I was horrified with the devastation, and it hit even closer to home, as I'd spent a number of years in Mississippi. I love New Orleans as much as the next semi-Southern gal, but I knew Mississippi was getting lost in the media
attention. I hoped I'd be able to send some help their way.

The drive is actually supporting eight Mississippi libraries - some have been decimated, some have lost their entire Childrens' section, and some have lost funding (and with it the ability to buy new materials). And it couldn't be easier to help out. Each library has a wish list on amazon.com. You log in, pick some books (any order over $25 gets free shipping...), and buy them. Amazon sends them to the library, and the library puts the book on the shelf.

I sent three books to the Biloxi Public Library: Frankenstein, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, and Time and Again (for you, mom). If you can't make a donation, please pimp the cause to anyone you know.

Cars

Sometimes, going into a movie with absolutely no expectations is the best way to go. I'll admit it - the only reason I wanted to see Cars is because it's a Pixar movie. And I love Pixar movies. I even loves A Bug's Life. I don't dig the NASCAR scene, I don't really enjoy Larry the Cable Guy, and I wasn't sure how cars were going to come off as emotional characters.

Forgive me, Mr. Lasseter, for ever doubting you.

Cars was everything I wasn't expecting it to be. It was a great story. I loved all the characters (even Mater, the redneck tow truck). And I really loved the backdrops. I totally want to drive down Route 66, see mountains, and go places tourists don't usually go.

I'll give cars JJJJ out of JJJJJ, and highly recommend that when you go, you stay through the credits... although the movie peaks at the drive-in.

Fire Damage

Now that 192 is open again, we've gotten to take a look at the fire damage. No wonder they had to close the road -- the fire was almost right up against it, and the trees for a good 1/4 mile have either been burned up to black sticks or sucked up so much smoke their leaves have turned brown. It's sad, but I'm glad it wasn't much worse. Oh yeah - it's still smoking. I guess we didn't get quite as much rain as they were hoping. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't start up again.

Veggies for Dinner

Corn on the cob, bakes sweet potato fries, and curried cous cous. Two days in a row. Life is sweet. (of course, there's also grilled beer-soaked brats... but if you just eat one, it's considered a side dish, right?)