Yep...It's Gone...

And there you have it, folks. Me, minus ten inches of hair. It turns out I had enough hair left that I *could* have gotten a bob, but I had already steeled myself for a bad haircut so I decided to get one anyway.

As you might be able to tell, the picture of the front of me was taken in the salon, all fresh and bouncy with "product" in my hair. I took the picture of the back when I got home, after Beth and I putzed around the Magic Kingdom for a while. The back looked so cute - all flippy and fun - when I first got it done, but my hair holds no style. It just flat-out (har har) refuses to do anything but straight.

I don't hate it, but I certainly don't love it. On a scale of 1-10, I'm sitting comfortably at a 4. It'll be interesting to see how I feel about it tomorrow when I actually have to attempt to style it myself.

One Month!

...and where will YOU be one month from today?

Hair Today...

...Gone Tomorrow!

It's official - Beth and I are going to get our hair chopped tomorrow. (yes, tomorrow. I have wonky days off this week due to a trade with a co-worker) I've already steadied myself emotionally for the inevitable bad haircut. It's only hair, and of course it'll grow back. And it'll be nice to have a 5-minute blow-dry in the morning. And my shampoo/condititioner usage will be cut in half. And Locks of Love is a worthy cause deserving of 10" of my hair... much more worthy than the bathroom drain!

So here's my hair on it's last day of longness, complete with red line approximating how much I'm going to lose. **gulp**

More on Voting

(or "Moron Voting," depending on how you look at it)

Today I spent a half hour with the VoteSmartFlorida.org 2006 Voter Guide to Proposed Constitutional Amendments. There are 8 proposed amendments to Florida's constitution. Of those, two have already been removed, leaving me six to decide on.

I read the amendments when I got my sample ballot in the mail, and the verbiage left me bored and drooling in 3 seconds flat. So I was glad to see that the Voter Guide not only has the complete amendment, it also has a "what it means" section as well as pro's and con's. It helped. So here's how I'm voting:

#1: State Planning and Budget Process: Long-range budget planning is a good thing. YES!

#3: Requiring Broader Public Support for Constitutional Amendments or Revisions: "Florida's Constitution is the easiest to amend in our nation. In recent years, ballot initiatives have become a vehicle for well-financed special interest groups to protect their interests via the state’s most sacred document." I think that 60% of the voters is perfectly acceptable. YES!

#4: Protect People, Especially Youth from Addiction, Disease, and Other Health Hazards of Using Tobacco: Smoking is bad, but taking $57 million out of the budget away from real education and roads hardly seems worth it. NO!

#6: Increased Homestead Exemption: I refuse to support any amendment geared toward the elderly. I am a middle class resident who can't afford to buy a house, and you want me to shell out money so that a low income senior can stay in theirs? Let them move into an apartment. NO! (of course, this one will probably pass because the state is so overrun with retirees)

#7: Permanently Disabled Veterans' Discount on Homestead Ad Valorem Tax: On the surface, this seems like an amendment I would support 100%: "This is a chance to give thanks to veterans who were wounded in combat serving our country..." But then it gets ugly: "...partially or totally permanently disabled veteran who is age 65 or older who was a Florida resident at the time of entering military service..." How can I support a measure that discriminates against the kids who are coming home now missing limbs? NO!

#8: Eminent Domain: This one basically stops the government from snatching up your land and then turning right around and making a profit on it. Sounds good to me. YES!

I have my sample ballot all filled out and ready to go. I can't wait to go get outvoted by the old conservative republicans next week!

People in Glass Houses...

...shouldn't pay for gay sex.

I'm wishing my husband the Bible scholar was home so I could find out where "judge not, lest ye be judged" came from. That's from the Bible, right?

Anyway, Scalzi said it all better than I could have.

I only wonder how people who are so grossly hypocritical can stand to look at themselves in the mirror. It simultaneously makes me weep for humanity... and want to giggle a little at the expense of the religious right.

Rocking the Vote

Scalzi's Weekend Assignment asks us to... Recount the first time you voted in a local, state or national election. For this, primary voting counts, too. If you want to share who you voted for and whether they won, that's cool, but if you feel like you want to keep your political affiliation unstated, that's fine too.

Amazingly enough for someone who was involved in journalism in high school, and then student government in college, I was completely uninterested in voting in the "real world."

In 1996, I was probably in the less than 1% of the Penn State population that was too young to vote. Everyone around me was able to get out and vote and get their sticker, but I, wee lass of 17, wasn't eligible. I felt like I had been left behind by the rest of the country.

In 2000, I just didn't care. I had been an "adult" in the workforce for all of 6 months. My legal address was with my mom, a half-hour drive from the place I actually lived with my dad, and I didn't even have a car to get to the polls. Vote? How? I wasn't even registered!

(of course, when I got my Florida driver's license, I told the lady at the DMV that I wanted to register Democrat. Imagine my surprise when my Republican card arrived in the mail. gah!)

And then came those dark days following the 2000 election when I stared at the TV and kept thinking, "I've missed the ONE opportunity in my life where my vote would have actually counted."

Never again!

The first time I voted was in the 2004 primaries. I couldn't tell you who I voted for. But the "I voted" sticker is still on the computer monitor. I also voted for "the guy who isn't George Bush" in the 2004 Presidential election. It seems my ability to pick the winners is pretty bad. John Edwards didn't get to be the Democratic candidate (although that was decided before our Primary). John Kerry didn't get to be president. And I'm pretty sure my picks for Water Board and School Board lost too. But it didn't matter. I said "this is a democracy - I have to take part." And I did. I stood in line at the fire station and I made my choices.

Extra Credit: Are you voting next Tuesday? Hell yes I'm voting! And this time, though I doubt my choice will become Governor, I'm content to be part of the people uniting against sending Katharine Harris to the U.S. Senate.

Adoption Awareness

November, in addition to being NaBloPoMO, is also National Adoption Awareness Month.

I am very aware of adoption. I've got six(?) cousins who were adopted and an adopted baby sister. And I'm reminded every day because three of the blogs on my sidebar are by adoptive/adopting parents:

Laura at Adventures in Juggling has four daughters by birth and an adopted son. She's had Daniel since he was a tiny baby, and he's now almost five.

Karen at the Naked Ovary became a mom a few months ago when she flew to China to meet her daughter.

And Erin at Jesus Was Not a Republican is in the process of adopting an infant from Guatemala.

Happy November!

I learned today that November is National Blog Post Month, or NaBloPoMo. Of course I signed up. I blog almost every day anyway. Although there's a reason I don't blog every day. Sometimes I just run out of things to say. Look for a random picture or other stupidity on those days.

Plus, I'm going on vacation to Vero Beach (two nights in an oceanview room for about $150 - it's like a warm-up for our "real" vacation in December) in a couple weeks. So I guess I'll have to pre-post some entries, since I don't have a laptop to bring along.

Today we have to go all the way out to the Florida Mall area to get this stupid insurance inspection done for my car. Geico, by the way, is not my favorite company anymore. They may have saved me a bunch of money, but the aggravation of filling out my life story in triplicate may actually have been worth more than the money I saved! We're going to hit the mall to find new work shoes for both of us, and I want to swing through the department stores to check out the clearance racks. My favorite black dress pants recently tore right up the butt and I need a replacement pair. And then we have to go grocery shopping too.

Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Gah!

Boo!

from the ParkHopper Menagerie

aww...who are you trying to kid, ZoePig? You'r just too sweet to be a mean, nasty witch!


I just don't have the heart to tell my little "Easter Bunny" that the eggs are supposed to go inside the basket.

Does anyone else have a caption for my poor objectified pets?

Three Hundred

Well, Blogger tells me this is my 300th entry. And this gave me quite the case of writer's block. Originally, I thought I wanted to do some sort of retrospective, but I figure that would take the wind out of the sails of my year-in-review (coming in about two months). Instead, I thought I'd focus on the number 300.
It is a triangular number and the sum of a twin prime (149 + 151), as well as the sum of ten consecutive primes (13 + 17 + 19 + 23 + 29 + 31 + 37 + 41 + 43 + 47).

In bowling, a perfect score, achieved by rolling strikes in all ten frames.

The lowest possible Fair Isaac credit score.

Its Roman numeral is CCC.

In the year 300, the magnetic compass for navigation was invented in China (approximate date), and a Sanskrit collection of fables and fairy tales, the Panchatantra was written in India.

With their 48-3 victory over Bowling Green on Sept. 12, 1998 the Nittany Lions marked their second win of the season and Joe Paterno marked the 300th victory in his career as a head coach. Only three other Division I head coaches have reached that mark, (Bear Bryant, Pop Warner and Amos Alonzo Stagg), and Paterno reached it in fewer games than any of them.

College Football

I just went to the AOL Sports site to check on Penn State's day yesterday (it's hard for me to track them when they're not in the top 25) and I noticed something very disturbing. Coming into yesterday's games, Rutgers is ranked #16. Rutgers! They were the fluff team Penn State would play every couple of years. Seriously. Rutgers?

Penn State started out pretty dreary, much like the season (don't quote me on this -- I'm not a religious follower of the NCAA -- it's more anecdotal) two years ago when we lost to the fluff teams at the beginning of the season and then beat all the big boys at the end. The boys in blue are 6-3 and I think they'll be able to pull out wins over the next three weeks. Wisconsin is ranked #16, so they'll be a challenge, but after that there's Temple, who is 1-8 and then Michigan State, who is 4-5.

I'm still baffled by the whole Rutgers thing. Who would've thought there would come a day when PSU, FSU, MSU, and Miami were shut out of the Top 25 in favor of Rutgers, West Vigrinia, and Boise State?!? It's a world gone mad, folks!

--------------------------

Programming Note: My next post will be #300 in this particular incarnation of my blog. Look for something special when I have time to put it together.

Beware the Enthusiasm!

Yesterday afternoon, my boss mentioned that the holidays are coming up (duh!) and that maybe I could use some money and I should think about coming in for an extra day of work. My response? "Sure! I'd love to!" He thought I was being sarcastic. Nah... I just enjoy a good paycheck. Besides, I think he's torn about how best to replace the flaky temp, and I'm glad to help out in the interim. And I'd rather be paid for an extra day than squeeze extra work into my existing work days.

Later he mentioned the fleeting thought that I should be there every day. (apparently Wednesday night our computer system went down in striking fashion and our part-timer didn't handle pressure or stress of that magnitude very well.) I laughed. Hard. And told him that my job was too exhausting to do every day.

Then he got worried that I don't like the job anymore. Rest assured, boss - one of the things I love about my job is that it wears me down. It's not the kind of stress I can't handle. It's just the kind of stress I'd rather not handle seven days a week!

The Outside World...

Sometimes I think that if I didn't have to leave the house, I wouldn't bother. I wouldn't grocery shop or go to the gas station, that's for sure! The outside world... strange things happen there...

I spent 20 minutes - Literally. 20 minutes - this evening waiting in line to get a car wash that was about to expire. I actually called Scott because we were supposed to be meeting at Publix to get some shopping done. He said he would just start without me (read: buy lots of meat). So I sat there while the 3 - yep, only 3 - cars ahead of me went through the wash. The old man in the Cadillac took at least two tries to enter his code properly. I wanted to honk. Instead I practiced deep breathing and listened to the radio. At the end of the car wash, there were still love bug splatters on my windshield, and my antenna topper was gone. I'm not too sad about the topper- I recently noticed that the gold sparkles were at least half gone. But I'm disappointed that the windshield isn't even clean.

So I finally met up with Scott in the last row of the store. We conferred, decided to get some deli meat, bought more peaches (we're on a cobbler kick), and I grabbed some Special K bars, which were on sale BOGO.

Back at home, I opened up the Special K bars to add them to the box-o-snacks in the pantry and was surprised to find only five bars in the box. Where was the sixth? I had Scott count them again, and he also counted five. I got on a tangent and started to rant (who? me? rant?) about being ripped off while opening the next box. I made sure to count the bars to make sure I hadn't been ripped off AGAIN, and I got to four... five... six... seven?!?!? Yep - seven. So I ended up with the right amount after all, but in the wrong proportions. I only got five chocolate drizzled, and seven of the peach-berry. I submitted a comment on specialk.com (yes, there truly is a website for everything!) telling them they needed to hire people who could count without using their fingers. Actually, I was very polite. It was too humorous to resort to mud-slinging.

And THEN, as if today hadn't been random enough, I got some "personalized recommendations" from Columbia House.

Dear JAMIE thank you for putting my name in CAPS so that I would recognize myself,
Since you've previously purchased Tom Cruise movies, may we recommend these great flicks to complete your collection! funny...I thought I was boycotting Tom Cruise. I guess that's what I get for buying Top Gun on clearance for my husband who doesn't think the man is crazy!

Mission: Impossible 3 (Pre-Order) - I didn't understand the first M:I movie, didn't see the second, but hey - maybe I'll buy the third? umm... no

Mission: Impossible 2 Special Collector's Edition - "Own this bonus-filled special edition now!" Gee... do the bonus selections explain the movie? If not, I'm not
interested.

Mission: Impossible Special Collector's Edition - Didn't like the movie... don't
like the guy. Are we seeing a common thread here?

War of the Worlds - The most over-exposed man in Hollywood joins the most over-exposed child in Hollywood. Besides, I believe it was on this movie tour when Tommy Boy lost my respect by couch jumping, bashing Brooke Shields, and lecturing Matt Lauer.

Interview With the Vampire Special Edition - Horror + Tom Cruise = no thank you

Far and Away - He should take his fake Irish accent far and away.

Jerry Maguire Special Edition - You had me at... Hell No!

Perhaps it's best that I return to work tomorrow. I've obviously had a little too much time to examine my surroundings in the past few days. It's been nice while it lasted.

A Perfect Fall Day

Yesterday between my appointment with Dr. Ponytail and a trip to the movies, Scott and I spent an hour enjoying an absolutely perfect fall day.

The weather was in the 60's.

There wasn't a cloud in the sky.

We split a caramel apple and some pumpkin fudge.

And we watched the world go by.

It just doesn't get any better than that!

Mail Call

From the ParkHopper Mailbag:



I know it's hard to read, but I had to share this postcard I got from my darling mother. I read the top line and laughed until my stomach hurt. Scott says he doesn't think she was being funny. I know that my mom knows her audience and stopped sending Jesus rhetoric to me long ago. Anyway, the original printing from the postcard says:

Formed millions of years ago by volcanoes, glaciers and other natural forces, the Colorado landscape is an awe-inspiring blend of mountains, lakes, forests, and plains.

And mom changed the first line to read, "Formed thousands of years ago by God..."

...and she sent the Colorado postcard from Texas, which makes it even better!

Feline Critics

Scalzi's Monday Photo Shoot this week encourages us to show off our creative sides: Take a picture of something you've made. Pottery, cookies, a drawing or painting, a poem or a pipe cleaner stick man -- it's all good, it just has to have been made by you. Show off your creativity.

I figure I had two options for this Photo Shoot: the blueberry muffins I made for breakfast yesterday or art from grade school. In keeping with my tradition of using the Photo Shoot for "Caption the Cat," I decided to expose the cats to two remaining art projects. It's true -- everyone's a critic!

Milo seems to just love this chalk drawing of a daffodil I made in the fifth grade. I actually figured he'd go for the other, since he likes to lick the shine off of pictures!

Kilo, meanwhile, gets up close and personal with this film etching I did in seventh grade. The etching was the only piece ever submitted to an art show - it went to Burlington County Teen Arts, which means it was hung in a mall over a weekend. The tape pieces at the bottom once held the little card proclaiming my name, grade, and school. The card is long-gone, but that tape is there forever!

Your turn - what do you think that the cats think of their exposure to ParkHopper Gallery?

Do They Make 12-Step Programs for Cats?

Honestly, I've put fresh turkey odds and ends on the floor and not gotten this kind of reaction. I think perhaps they both have a problem!

So why the bottle of champagne on the floor? Well, I wanted to take a picture, but didn't want cereal boxes or other assorted foodstuffs in the picture. Instead I got cats. Oh well... that's my life!!

And in case you were wondering about the champagne on the living room floor, it's a bottle of Piper-Heidsieck Brut 1998. And it was a gift. Or a leftover. Or maybe a perk. At any rate, it's mine now and I can't wait for an excuse to celebrate and open it up - like maybe Halloween. Do you think this is a vintage that goes well with bulk chocolate?

Boil Your Own Eggs

Dear lazy people of the world,

Egg salad is not difficult to make. First you hard-boil the eggs. Then you let them cool. Then you peel them. Then you slice them. Then you add mayo and whatever else you want (I recommend horseradish dijon, diced celery, and a dash of paprika) and stir. Viola!

Not only to you get the pleasure of serving your family something home made, with no preservatives, but you're less likely to be infected by bacteria that can kill kids and old people.

Really, boil your own damn eggs.

Sincerely,

The ParkHopper

The Duck Theory

Tonight, I was talking with one of my managers about all of the craziness last night. We both had the same philosophy - we knew that a lot of planning had been done ahead of time, but inevitably things change at the last minute and hilarity ensues. And all you can ever do is roll with the punches.

He mentioned the duck theory, which I had never heard of before. Watch a duck swim across the water. From our point of view, the duck seems to just glide wherever it wants to. It seems perfect and effortless. But just below the surface, it's little feet are going **flap flap flap** in a crazy dance. It's a pretty great metaphor for life in the hospitality business.

Chef had me make 10 extra menus today (just front & back of the same paper - not fancy like last night's) for the culinary team. They were so popular I had to make 10 more. And he said I did a great job last night. I'm pretty sure he caught wind of the fact that I nearly melted down between menu printings #1 and 2. And since NG stopped showing up, they seemed a little worried that I might follow suit.

Pah! I love my job. I think being a duck leg suits me just fine.

And now, a picture that has nothing to do with this post. It's called "I Found Nemo."

The Big Night

Last night at work was huge. We were doing this big fancy dinner (yes, bigger and fancier than our normal dinners, and with a nearly three-times fancier price tag) complete with guest Chef, wine educators, and representatives of two vineyards.

This big fancy dinner involved special menus (no sweat there... I'm a menu Goddess!) that were two pages instead of just one (which, by the way, I designed on the fly two days ago and our Chef let me run with it). We had the menu "finalized" a few days in advance. We had the guest list (oh yeah - the menus were personalized, of course!). And it seemed we were going to have this smooth event.

{insert manic laughing here}

Well, things yesterday weren't smooth. Actually, I hear the dinner was fabulous. But behind the scenes, it wasn't pretty. I ended up waiting to print the menus because the kitchen was waiting for a shipment of beef. Then we had to change one of the herbs. I got final wine approval from my boss and started printing.

This story would go on for three more paragraphs if I let it. Let's just say I ended up printing out 3 copies of the menu -- one after the seating so that the guests would go home with menus that reflected wine changes #2 and 3. The copies that were at the tables at 6:30 (when the event started) didn't even leave my office until 6:20. On a good day, I have my menus done 30-45 minutes ahead of the seating. This was not a good day.

It was definitely an interesting experience, and I'm wondering if they'll do it again next year.

Of course, yesterday might have gone a little more smoothly if NG had bothered to show up for work. I asked both bosses and the secretary who hired him if they had heard from him or knew why he might not be there. Nope. And with the boss, that was the whole conversation: "Do you know why NG might not be here today?" "No." End of discussion. So if he does show up today (I give him 3:1 odds he's never coming back. Scott says he's just not coming back) I don't even know if I'm supposed to say anything to him.

...And if he doesn't come back, I fear we'll have to re-key our door. He has a key, and the managers have a ton of wine/silver/stemware/china stored in there. And let's be realistic - it's not like hotel security is likely to stop anyone from walking out with a big box of stuff!

If it turns out he's dead in a ditch, I'll feel a little guilty about being worried about him robbing us blind. Actually, I'm annoyed and barely concerned about his well-being. And I feel guilty about that. oh well. Time will tell, right?