25 October, 2006

The Outside World...

Sometimes I think that if I didn't have to leave the house, I wouldn't bother. I wouldn't grocery shop or go to the gas station, that's for sure! The outside world... strange things happen there...

I spent 20 minutes - Literally. 20 minutes - this evening waiting in line to get a car wash that was about to expire. I actually called Scott because we were supposed to be meeting at Publix to get some shopping done. He said he would just start without me (read: buy lots of meat). So I sat there while the 3 - yep, only 3 - cars ahead of me went through the wash. The old man in the Cadillac took at least two tries to enter his code properly. I wanted to honk. Instead I practiced deep breathing and listened to the radio. At the end of the car wash, there were still love bug splatters on my windshield, and my antenna topper was gone. I'm not too sad about the topper- I recently noticed that the gold sparkles were at least half gone. But I'm disappointed that the windshield isn't even clean.

So I finally met up with Scott in the last row of the store. We conferred, decided to get some deli meat, bought more peaches (we're on a cobbler kick), and I grabbed some Special K bars, which were on sale BOGO.

Back at home, I opened up the Special K bars to add them to the box-o-snacks in the pantry and was surprised to find only five bars in the box. Where was the sixth? I had Scott count them again, and he also counted five. I got on a tangent and started to rant (who? me? rant?) about being ripped off while opening the next box. I made sure to count the bars to make sure I hadn't been ripped off AGAIN, and I got to four... five... six... seven?!?!? Yep - seven. So I ended up with the right amount after all, but in the wrong proportions. I only got five chocolate drizzled, and seven of the peach-berry. I submitted a comment on (yes, there truly is a website for everything!) telling them they needed to hire people who could count without using their fingers. Actually, I was very polite. It was too humorous to resort to mud-slinging.

And THEN, as if today hadn't been random enough, I got some "personalized recommendations" from Columbia House.

Dear JAMIE thank you for putting my name in CAPS so that I would recognize myself,
Since you've previously purchased Tom Cruise movies, may we recommend these great flicks to complete your collection! funny...I thought I was boycotting Tom Cruise. I guess that's what I get for buying Top Gun on clearance for my husband who doesn't think the man is crazy!

Mission: Impossible 3 (Pre-Order) - I didn't understand the first M:I movie, didn't see the second, but hey - maybe I'll buy the third? umm... no

Mission: Impossible 2 Special Collector's Edition - "Own this bonus-filled special edition now!" Gee... do the bonus selections explain the movie? If not, I'm not

Mission: Impossible Special Collector's Edition - Didn't like the movie... don't
like the guy. Are we seeing a common thread here?

War of the Worlds - The most over-exposed man in Hollywood joins the most over-exposed child in Hollywood. Besides, I believe it was on this movie tour when Tommy Boy lost my respect by couch jumping, bashing Brooke Shields, and lecturing Matt Lauer.

Interview With the Vampire Special Edition - Horror + Tom Cruise = no thank you

Far and Away - He should take his fake Irish accent far and away.

Jerry Maguire Special Edition - You had me at... Hell No!

Perhaps it's best that I return to work tomorrow. I've obviously had a little too much time to examine my surroundings in the past few days. It's been nice while it lasted.

1 comment:

Janette said...

"You had me at...Hell No!" - classic! I'm gonna steal it.

The only reason Scott possibly think that TC is sane is because he's not fully informed of the facts - have you told him everything? TC is at best a nutjob and at worst a misogynist evangelist for a cult.

Plus TC has funny teeth...and he's freakishly short and that observation comes from someone who is also freakishly short but I'm a woman so it's different. Freakishly short men always seem to develop personality quirks to compensate for their height. Unfortunately the personality trait that Cruise developed was to be an overbearing asshole.

Yeah, I get the feeling there's a good reason that Columbia House is running a sale on his movies.