Yesterday I was about to pop a bowl of chicken noodle soup into the microwave when I noticed two very strange things.
1) There is a seal just to the left of the big Progresso banner that says, "inspected for wholesomeness by U.S. Department of Agriculture." Do you think there's some USDA employee out there who puts "Wholesomeness Inspector" on his tax return every year? What are the standards of wholesomeness? Are there other foods out there with the wholesome seal of approval?
2) On the metal lid that you have to open before microwaving, there are instructions printed across the top. "Remove before microwaving?" No. That's printed about five other places. These instructions say, "shake twice before opening." Just twice? Who shakes anything just twice? That's like saying a serving of Oreos is 2 cookies. Pah!
Inspection of a microwaveable bowl of Campbell's wedding soup reveals a similar USDA seal, only theirs doesn't mention wholesomeness. "U.S. Inspected and Passed by Department of Agriculture." And this makes me wonder what the USDA is inspecting for. If not wholesomeness, then what? Rat butts?
The wedding soup is also made with REAL acini de pepe. Thank goodness, because I can't fathom using anything less.