Tampons

Yes, I'm writing an entire entry about feminine hygiene products. Not just feminine hygiene products, but the ones that go inside the body.

**gasp!**

Why? Because it's my blog and I'll do weird stuff if I want to. Besides, recently it feels like I'm the only one reading what I'm writing anyway. "Hello, Internet, are you there? It's me, Jamie."

The entry is about tampons, not their use, or their effectiveness. There is a photo, but only the applicators are showing. And they were in mint condition until I placed them out on my bathroom floor. Yes, I wasted three tampons for this photo. But trust me, photo evidence was necessary.

So I assume by now I've scared off anyone not interested in reading about tampons. I guess it's safe to continue. So here's my story:

Up until now, I have been exposed to two types of Playtex tampons (yes, plastic applicators will some day block out the sun, but I like the Playtex product so much more than their cardboard brethren I'm willing to sacrifice the planet): the yellow (regular) packaging and the pink (super) packaging. I'm a yellow kind of gal, but always seem to have pinks around because half the time the store is out of yellow, and I'd rather go pink than go to another brand.

Well, this week apparently I wasn't paying attention and I bought a box of purple tampons. I noticed the purple stripe on the box, but since it wasn't pink, I thought that meant that they changed the yellow to purple.

WRONG!

Purple, it turns out, is ULTRA. And so a few days later, I found myself telling Scott about my mistake. "I've seen smaller things shot out of submarines." Even the applicator is reinforced. Really! Look!

Yellow on the left, followed by pink, and then purple.

The very bottom of the purple applicator has an extra ridge on it, as if the makers of the product are aware that without that little ridge, you would likely cut a circle in the tip of your finger during insertion!

And so the jokes kept rolling with me and Scott. He asked if there was any heavy equipment involved, and I said yes, that the box comes with a grenade launcher... but make sure you hold on tight to that string or Look Out!

With its one gallon absorption ability, you could wear just one tampon through an entire cycle. You know, theoretically, if you weren't worried about TSS or the fact that you would definitely feel "not so fresh" by the end.

Also, I'm not taking a picture of this, but if you were to insert an ULTRA into a glass of water, it would plump up to the diameter of an apple. Seriously - it's scary!

I think that just about covers it. But maybe one more time, just for S&G's, and since I probably won't have this opportunity again: Tampon!