Bite-Size Portions

Scott and have decided to have a weekend-o-gluttony at the Food & Wine Festival.

The good news? The portions are bite-sized. That's probably best for both of us!

More details, including photos more recent than 2005, on Wednesday. In the meantime, leave a message at the beep.

***BEEP***

SNL

SNL hasn't been "must see TV" for me in over 10 years. It kept getting un-funnier and un-funnier. But now all of a sudden, I find myself waking up on Sunday morning to find out I'm missing killer political comedy!

Thank God for the Internet, eh?

Yearbooked

There's lots of serious stuff going on right now: the country on the verge of depression (take 700 billion Prozac and call me in the morning), Survivor (on the bright side, I was able to get to sleep at a decent hour), the will-they-or-won't-they presidential debate...

But rather than acknowledge any of that, I'm having fun on my new favorite website, YearbookYourself.com. Why? See below. I feel no further explanation is needed.

C'mon...you know you want to try it out... styles from a 50 year span... how can you resist?!?

Politics & Photoshop

Ok, you know what? I think these are funny. Yeah - I know the one involves Code Pink - but it's still funny.

...and I want a king crab for my desk, too!

(both photos via YA for Obama, with today's post by Judy Blume)

Incredible Stories

Yesterday, a horrible thing happened here in Central Florida. The skies darkened, and a horrific image appeared.

Giant bugs the size of cars descended from above and overtook our apartment complex. They tried to enslave me, but I got away. I fled toward the one place I thought would be safe... the "Happiest Place on Earth."

But it was too late. The giant prehistoric insect monsters were landing there, too. In just a few short hours, all human life here in Central Florida was exterminated.

* * * * * * * * * *

So what is more frightening? The fictional story above, or the fact that this nasty prehistoric insect was on my windshield for more than 10 miles - some at highway speeds.

I'm glad the bug's sticky foot pads didn't last much longer. I was starting to panic about having to get out of my car at work, knowing that the bug would be traumatized and possibly angry!

What a nightmare!

Thank You, Scott!

A Haiku:

Yep, they are roses.

Yep, and they are orange too.

Yep, he does love me!

(and I love him too)

Chinese Chicken

Scott and I made an experimental dinner last night: 4 boneless chicken breasts, marinated in 1 bottle of sesame-ginger salad dressing (not the kind we usually buy - one that was on the shelf in the produce section) for umm... 30-60 minutes, baked on a rack at whatever temperature one usually bakes chicken.

Wow!

I bet the flavor would get old pretty quickly, but it was tasty! We served it with broccoli and jasmine rice to go along with our pseudo-Asian theme. And the marinade made the chicken so juicy! Would also taste great on a salad (cue the can-o-mandarin oranges and the chow mein noodles).

Scott took his leftovers to work for dinner tonight. I'm saving mine for dinner tomorrow. Tonight? Pasta salad.

Like Choosing Between Your Kids

I couldn't decide which Comedy Central political commentary from last night was more worthwhile to post here, so I'm posting two. No, I won't make a habit of posting multiple videos per day. I promise.


Why post this one? Oh, I think you'll figure it out around minute 2:20. (sure, no coverage on the "big 3" network news, but Jon Stewart is on the ball!)

The second is from the Colbert Report. It's so true I can't even laugh...

Family News

So this is the coolest thing I've heard in a little while: My wittle cousin Michelle is on the new season of Survivor! I guess that means she's not to wittle anymore!

...and I guess I'm going to have to add one more show to the DVR this season!


Watch CBS Videos Online

(and because I'm a nice cousin, I'm also not going to post the toothless toddler photo of her that I found this afternoon)

I've been racking my brains, and I honestly don't think I've seen Michelle in almost 15 years. However, she is the original owner of my car. I was a little sad that she didn't mention Frances in this video clip. Oh well...maybe in another episode! ;-)

Two Headed Monster?

That's no monster! That's two cats who love each other!

Yes, the photo is small and blurry. Sorry. I took it with my camera phone because that's all that I could reach and I couldn't get up. They were on my lap!

No. It's Not OK.

I once heard a statistic that 1 in 4 college aged women is raped. I believe that to be true.

Imagine that you are a college aged woman. You have just been violated in the most disgusting, humiliating manner possible. You are ashamed. And you are scared.

In order to pursue a criminal investigation, you have to submit voluntarily to being violated again. If you are college age, more than likely you have either never had a gyno exam or you have had a single practitioner examine you. Now you are going to trust your body to some medical examiner. Samples are going to be removed from your body. You are going to answer questions about your sexual history - probably more than once. You are probably going to end up humiliated and scared all over again.

It's no wonder that so many sexual assaults go unreported.

Now imagine yourself in the same position again. This time, imagine knowing that you are going to be charged a fee of $300 to $1,200 for the cost of the "rape kit" and examination. As a woman of that age, if you have a job, you are probably not making much more than minimum wage. If you have graduated, you probably have student loans. If you didn't go to college and have been working for 3 years, you might have a rent payment. Are you still going to pursue a criminal case? Or is the emotional and financial toll just too great?

In 2000, Alaska lawmakers learned that rural police agencies had been billing rape victims or their insurance companies $500 to $1,200 for the costs of the forensic medical examinations used to gather evidence. They quickly passed a law
prohibiting the practice.

According to the sponsor, Democrat Eric Croft, the law was aimed in part at Wasilla, where now-Gov. Sarah Palin was mayor. When it was signed, Wasilla's police chief expressed displeasure. (USA Today)

No, there's no quote out there from Sarah Palin. Right now, no one seems to know when Wasilla started charging. It's possible she didn't know that her town was charging rape victims for evidence gathering. But really, how much could have been going on in that town? And besides, the Police Chief that "expressed displeasure" was appointed by her. It's pretty unlikely the issue was never discussed between the two.

I'm wondering if the reporters at USA Today were kind when they said "rural police agencies." According to the then-governor (yes - Democrat; yes - incumbent defeated by Palin), Wasilla was the only town charging victims.

In the best possible scenario, Sarah Palin's ignorance in this matter was negligent to the needs of some of her constituents. At the worst, she made a conscious decision to penalize the victims of crime.

How could any mother, daughter, father or brother turn a blind eye to this? How could anyone who has ever filed a police report as the victim of any crime, from assault to theft, who hasn't had to PAY to get justice for someone else's crime ignore this? How could any woman who calls herself a feminist, and is willing to put aside all of her other beliefs just to vote for a presidential ticket that includes a woman, say this is inconsequential? (That last group, by the way, is confusing feminism with sexism. But that's an issue for someone else to tackle.)

Please, does anyone out there have an answer? I'm having trouble understanding why the rest of the country isn't as shocked about this as I am. And unlike teen pregnancy, crazy pastors, POW status, or any other "personal" crap that has been brought up in this election cycle, I believe this IS an issue. I believe this DOES reflect on Palin's leadership philosophy, and possibly her stance on violent crime. And I, for one, do not want this woman one heartbeat away from leading my country.

I Remembered

So... I did something moderately stupid last night. I was on the couch dozing to an 11:30 pm re-run of That 70's Show and decided to move to the bedroom. I was super-tired yesterday (stress and lack of desire to be at work may have contributed) and thought perhaps I could fall asleep before Scott got home.

Once I was in bed, I turned on the TV and somehow ended up watching MSNBC's "9/11 as it Happened," which was basically a mildly edited replay of The Today Show from that morning. I don't watch stuff like this - mostly because Scott won't watch it again, but partly because it just takes you instantly to a very dark place. But for some reason, there I was, unable to change the channel or even think about falling asleep.

In 2001, my Dad was glued to ABC, and the only TV voice I remember from that day was Diane Sawyer. I actually think the coverage would've been harder for me to watch last night if it had been ABC's coverage instead of NBC's. But I'm a little bit glad that I watched it. There was some really great journalism going on that day. Matt Lauer and Katie Couric ended up looking like interns in the shadow of Tom Brokaw. HE got it. He grasped that they were reporting on a world-changing event long before the other two. But what impressed me the most was their Pentagon reporter, whose phone-ins started with "there was an explosion - it might have been a construction accident" to "bomb in the heli-port" to the conclusion of "another airplane."

I don't think I'm likely to watch anything like that again. Now, remembering the event just makes me sad. But last night, I remembered just how scary that day and the next few were. The day after, every time one of those damn tourist helicopters flew over, we all looked up and wondered what we were hearing and whether it was about to come crashing down. I hadn't thought about that in 5 or more years. And I don't want to remember the fear. It just doesn't seem necessary.

So from now on, I'll watch the current news coverage. I'll see the memorials. I'll remember the past, but I won't immerse myself in it again. It's just too much.

Harumph

Some truths about me:

1. I really only have the capacity to be actively angry at one person at a time.
2. My threshold for b.s. tolerance is inversely related to my stress level.
3. Single-issue (or single party) voters piss me the hell off.

It is for these reasons (mostly #2) that I am cutting WAY back on my political intake. I will get my political news from The Daily Show. I will watch the debates. And I will continue to fill my Facebook Flair Board with political buttons. No more cnn.com. No more stopping on the 24/7 news channels while looking for something to watch. Just. No. More.

I need to stop watching now before I rage at the TV. I need to take a deep breath and realize that my personal frustration is never going to turn Lipstick-gate back into a rational discussion about things that matter. Just because I think that the economy, education and the environment (just to pick one letter of the alphabet) are more important than the bridge to nowhere, teen pregnancy, and hockey moms (just to pick one VP candidate), that doesn't mean the rest of the country agrees with me.

I'll be watching, but not quite as closely as before. After all, someone has to brief the rest of you on the latest genius television:

What's YOUR Confederate Opinion?

Scott says that Jefferson Davis is rolling over in his grave.

I think it's wonderful that, in this day and age, this cat and this man can sit side-by-side on a bookshelf, acting as inspiration for other cats around the country.

Mental Exercise

Step 1: Kill the mouse attached to your computer
Step 2: Complete every function of your job without using the mouse
Step 3: Repeat step 2 without talking out loud to yourself
Step 4: Repeat steps 2 and 3 without using swear words
Step 5: Go 5 minutes without reaching for the mouse

My brain actually hurts right now! That's a good thing, right? Dr.
BrainAge would be so proud!

So Sad...So Tired...

Today is the last day of my seemingly never-ending work week. This is no "light at the end of the tunnel" moment though, because today is the 10-hour day.

I'm having some difficulty at work that is making it very difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I feel like I'm knee-deep in quickshit (it's like quicksand, only much much worse) and the only way I can see to resolve the issue is to leave. Quickly. To any department who will have me.

(please hold your advice until the end of the entry)

To make a long and not interesting story shorter and less involved, I'm having problems with Girl Chef. Two weeks in a row, she has busted into my office and not bothered to look to see that I was elbow deep in work (this week, with 6 wine changes, 50 menus, and 25 vegetarian menus) and started barking at me about something that she perceived needed to be done right this second because it's a matter of life and death. I was busy and told her so. I also pointed out that the person sitting directly behind me was not dealing with time-sensitive issues and perhaps she could assist. She didn't appreciate that.

Well both times, the manager in the office (two different managers) saw the situation, heard what was said, and felt the need to defend me. The first time, she told me later in the night that she was trying to make a point to my co-worker. I'm not quite sure how yelling at me was supposed to accomplish that, but I was letting it slide. This Thursday when it happened again, she sniped at me about my attitude in front of my co-worker, my boss, and a manager who was shadowing my boss.

So I reflected on the situation. I bounced ideas off of Scott. And what I came to was to discuss the issue with my boss and see what he said. What I told him was that she is NOT my manager, and in the future, I would like any feedback she has about my performance/attitude to be given to my manager instead of at me, in front of other people. He said that he would talk to her.

A few hours later, he came back in the office, said he had spoken to her, and actually used the words "she's like that" and "this will probably happen again." He also told me a quaint little anecdote about how she once went almost a year not speaking to him because he insulted her boyfriend before he knew they were dating. And yet, for some reason, no one sees a PROBLEM with this!

She's absolutely not speaking to me now. Before, I think she was just keeping her distance. But the last time I saw her last night, she didn't even look in my direction while she was handing me a stack of paper!

So, through tears, I explained to my boss that most of the other locations I left were because I was having personality conflicts with other people. The only reason I've stayed in this job, which is really no longer challenging for me, is because of the people. I reminded him that I had no intention of staying through next summer, and I told him point-blank that I will not be her whipping boy. That he can say "she's just like that" until he's blue in the face, but that it is not acceptable to behave the way she did, that there is a pattern here, and that if it happens again I will immediately start applying for other jobs. I won't work in a location where I go home once a week physically ill and crying because of someone else who works there isn't going to be held accountable for her temper.

After work, I met Scott for ice cream and cried a lot more. Over a chocolate peanut butter sundae from Ghirardelli (I got the cherry, he got the chocolate square), we hashed everything out and came up with a game plan. Sit still for now. Give the dust a week to settle. And then reevaluate.

There's a lot more to the story than that, so if it sounds like I'm just whining about something minor, I guess you'll just have to take my word. At least tonight the Chef is working, so I won't have to deal a whole lot with Girl Chef. Then I have three days off. I'm really looking forward to that! And hopefully this too shall pass. **fingers crossed**

Cat Toys

If you don't give your kitten enough toys to play with, you may end up surprised at what they choose to play with:

Your kitten might try to replace her broken dangling rat-on-a-string with a roll of tinfoil. She's probably fascinated by the crackling, slightly deformed kitten staring back at her from below!

(nope...no clue how the roll of foil ended up on the floor in the first place)

Of course, she might get depressed and attempt to drown her sorrows in frosting. This could lead to a lifetime of table scraps, and therefore should be avoided at all costs.

(WARNING: this will cause your photographer to laugh so hard he is unable to focus the camera)

As a last resort, the kitten might try to run away from home. If dashing through an open door doesn't work (because - just like the last 100 times - it's the bedroom door, which doesn't lead outside), she may attempt to stow away in the garbage. This is very similar to Little Orphan Annie's attempt to escape the orphanage in a laundry bin.