Breakfast

I really wanted to go to Cracker Barrel this morning for some apple pancakes. Instead, I decided to make pancakes at home. Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to present the strawberry short-stack:

The pancakes, though you can't tell in the photo, are made with fresh strawberry puree (and half the regular milk), and garnished with strawberries and Cool Whip. And considering 2 tablespoons of Cool Whip have a mere 25 calories, I can safely say that this is much healthier than the traditional butter and maple syrup.

Of course, the strawberries weren't very sweet, but overall I'd say it was a success.

And in honor of Cool Whip for Breakfast, I shall close with a related video clip:

How Milo Gets What He Wants

Milo was so upset that we missed Earth Hour on Saturday that he's turned into an eco-terrorist:

"Turn off the ceiling fan and the lights when you leave the room, or I'm shutting down the computer permanently!"

The Good Ship Elphaba

The blog has been dark and twisty recently. Know what might lighten things up? An illustrated pirate story!

Ahoy, mateys! This is the flag of the Good Ship Elphaba, a pirate ship captained by the Jolly Kitten herself.She steers her ship fearlessly though all the perils of the Living Room Sea.She once sailed from the Rainbow Tube of Slumber...

...all the way to the Cliffs of Entertainment Center!Sadly, the Good Ship Elphaba capsized off the Isle of Ottoman. As it turns out, kittens make lousy captains.

The End.

(This was the best $10 ever spent on an impulse buy at Publix, by the way!)

In other kitty-related news, Scott has taught Elphie how to fetch. Until we break out the video camera, there's nothing to show. Still photos just don't do it justice. But here's some pictures of Milo and Elphie showing how tall they are...

(Milo's got better balance... I consider Elphie's beaver tail an unfair advantage!)

And here's one more picture to leave you with. I call it "Not Milo's Best Side"

Trailer Park

It seems that The Restaurant made it through without any lay-offs. I'm not entirely confident about that, considering I heard it yesterday, and today is a whole new day in the same horrible week. Oh yeah, and there's still more to come next week. But the bulk of the dirty work seems to be done.

It's strange - I keep telling people it's like being the one trailer left standing after a tornado goes through your park. Literally. I remember feeling this way after Hurricane Charlie, when just about everyone I know had some amount of damage, and we didn't have anything at all happen to us.

Still, I knock wood as I type this entry, knowing that the other shoe can drop at any time. For now, life goes on. Grocery shopping, here I come!

Yeah...

I'm here and alive, and that's about all I can say right now. It's lay-off week, and everyone I work with is on edge. There's some gallows humor, but mostly just gallows. Rumors abound, most beginning with "my friend X has a friend who got laid off today. here's what they said..."

People handle such stress in different ways. Some are not taking on any long-term projects (you know, so that if they leave the project won't be forgotten). Some are testy. Some have withdrawn into themselves and stopped responding to the stuff around them that needs attention. Someone actually said goodbye to me last night. "It's been nice working with you!" That felt like overkill to me!

And then there's me. I don't really think I'm going to lose my job. I do think there's a good chance that at least one person I know will. If someone from my office goes, that means that my schedule is going to change. There's no way around that. If one of my managers goes, I don't know what's going to happen.

It's strange that once again I've been forced into the role of reassurer to people around me. "Don't worry about me - I'll be fine." Shouldn't someone be saying that to ME? Truth be told, Scott and I have been taking turns. He's having a bad week too, and he has to work an overtime shift tomorrow. Sometimes he's worried about me, sometimes I'm worried about him. I guess it works.

Mostly, I'm depressed. I can't focus and all I want to do is sleep. And maybe cry. Mostly sleep. Tomorrow I'll probably do both. I've been told that if anyone in my department is going, that they'll know by Friday. I sure hope so. The stress is eating me alive.

Bit o Green Entry

Happy St. Pat's!

Chef made corned beef and cabbage today, not quite the way I remember from my childhood, and not the way Scott makes it, but still tasty.

Anyway, this is your official not-really-out-of-town-but-also-not-here notice. Jackie is coming down tomorrow and I'll be hanging with her up until her flight leaves before the (butt) crack of dawn Sunday morning.

I added my Twitter feed over on the side bar, and I'll probably send some random texts over the next few days. Contain thine enthusiasm!

Food Porn

Found via Scott via Headline News: This is Why You're Fat.

If you're fat, I defy you to look at the pages on this site and not find at least one item that makes you go, "ooh!" For me, it was the meatloaf cake.

note: this is not the meatloaf cake on the other website. This one came from meatloafcake.com - nope, not making it up!

Other interesting creations on the main page include deep-fried grilled cheese and pizza cones. Click through the other pages for such marvels as chicken-fried bacon with country gravy, meta pizza (pizza topped with mini pizzas), and sloppy joe on a Krispy Kreme.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go mop up the drool...

Why I Heart Jon Stewart

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

After seeing the build-up to the Stewart-Cramer interview, there was no way I was going to miss last night's Daily Show. I expected the typical light-hearted poo slinging TDS interview, and was shocked by the three segment tongue lashing that I watched.

I'm having a lot of trouble coming up with truly intelligent analysis, so here's some bullet points:

• Why is Jon Stewart the only one holding CNBC accountable for calling themselves journalists but not actually objectively reporting?
• I would watch a real 6:30 news show anchored by Stewart. I realize he went to William & Mary and is incredibly intelligent, but I didn't realize he had it in him to do a real interview.
• Actually, I think he did something similar to...umm...the super-religious presidential candidate whose name escapes me at the moment.
• I'm really pissed off at every hedge fund and day trader playing around with my 401(k).
• I'm also shocked at the CNBC commercial that they showed at the beginning of Part Two. "In Cramer We Trust?" Who is "we" and why do they trust him???

So that's it. I heart Jon Stewart. We already knew that. But after last night, I heart him even more!

"Good Job" (I'll just tell myself)

I spent my down-time yesterday writing up a training manual for one of the new computer systems we have coming online at work. When I was done, I sent an e-mail to the other reservations people and to the managers:

Ladies and Gentlemen,

As of this morning, we have the ability to [do technical stuff in new program]! To commemorate this occasion, I have created a six-page guide to the system. Topics covered include a system overview...

The Boss replied some time last night after I left:

Jamie

Would you please coordinate with [the secretary] the reservation that we have from [guy who didn't hire me]. Let me know when all is done

Thanks

Scott says maybe the "thanks" at the end was all-encompassing. I sincerely doubt it. The reservation in question is for at least 3 months from now. And since our booking window is 90 days and as far as the rest of the world is concerned we can't book anything further out than that, I can't understand why he's got his panties in a twist. Oh that's right - he's giving me extra work in order to justify his job when the lay-offs come down the road. I might as well take the next 2 weeks off. He's just going to get even more difficult to work with.

This has been a test of the emergency Jamie-Needs-to-Vent system. It has also been yet another example of Why Jamie Should Not Check Her Work E-Mail From Home.

Bowling

Saturday night was the end of Jamie's-Birthday-Week-o-Fun. I invited a whole bunch of people out bowling, and five of us actually went. Besides me and Scott, Matthew (who I swear has gotten taller since the last time I saw him) and Katie and Abrah (my Encore girls) made the trip out to Winter Garden for some bowling fun.

Yeah, we're dorks. But we wear it well!

Anyway, about the time we started our second game, a group of four teenage boys showed up and seemed to be debating how long they wanted to stay. I groaned a sigh of old age when I heard one say "yeah, but we can't drive after 11." Well the boys were soon joined by more boys, and then a bunch of girls. There were probably 20 of them over two lanes, yelling and shoving each other, using our balls (umm...isn't there some sort of etiquette about that?), and acting like annoying little shits.

And then I realized: we've become the old people who get annoyed by teenagers doing teenage things. It's official. I'm in my 30's. I'm thinking about making a tombstone for my youth: "Here lies Jamie's first 30 years. She's sorry for all the annoying things she did in public."

Pass the Geritol, please!

Mamanazis

For years, the term "Feminazi" has been out there to describe militant feminists. Sure, it's offensive, but it gets the point across. I think the time has come to coin a new term: mamanazi. Simply put, the mamanazi thinks that nothing should be available to the general public that might have an adverse effect on her children.

"No porn on the internet!"

"No smoking on TV!"

"No gays on TV!"

(oh wait - that last one belongs to the religious right. I'm pretty sure the groups intersect.)

Well the mamanazis have turned against Dora the Explorer. In an attempt to maintain relevance with the pre-schoolers of yesterday (a.k.a. the tweens of today), the creators of Dora will be debuting a new show in the fall with Dora in middle school, no longer dressed like a four year old.

And then the world will end!

While Dora's look will not be revealed until next fall, the companies released a silhouette of the newly aged character, who's trading in her signature tomboy shorts and short bob for longer locks and a short skirt.

That new look has divided the playground -- while the more mature character has some parents scratching their heads in disbelief, other parents and children said they liked the new look.

"Oh, Dora goes wild," said one parent at a park with her children in Westport, Conn. yesterday when shown the new silhouette. "I'm not thrilled. No. I don't like it at all."

One group of parents has started an online petition protesting the change. "What next? Dora the cheerleader? Dora the fashionista with stylish purse and stilettos?" the petition reads. "We can expect it all, because that's what passes as 'tween' in the toy department these days."

So here she is, Media Hurricane Dora. I don't think she looks so tartish. I'm a little concerned about her giant head, and the fact that she seems to only have one sleeve. Sure, her skirt is short, but I think she's wearing capri-length leggings. Look at her straight leg - there seems to be a bump right below the knee (not as visible here as in the bigger version of the image). She's wearing sensible ballet flat shoes, and she's got her legs crossed - a message the mamanazis should love!

And as for the group with the online petition, would Dora the Cheerleader really be the worst thing in the world? I'm sure they would prefer Dora the Yearbook Editor or Dora the Soccer Phenom. (I almost said Dora the Softball Player, but that goes back to the "no gays on TV" thing...) But cheerleading as a "sport" is perfectly fine - it's the mean girls that give it the stigma.

More than her look, I'm wondering how the new show is going to play to the older audience. I can't imagine Swiper the fox being the villain in an urban middle school. And how often can she use her talking Map before she gets mugged in the subway because she looks like a tourist? Will she still put emphasis on every other word? While the alphabet and counting are easy to teach in 30-minute segments, I'm wondering what skills she'll be teaching the older kids. Will her ending song and dance be replaced with hip hop booty shaking?

Anyway, I hope the mamanazis will withhold judgement at least until they see the show. For now, judge not lest ye be judged. And since I'm judging the judgers, I guess that means it's open season on me, too. Oh well, nothing new about that!

Road Trip

Scott and I are home from our little over-nighter in Tampa. What's in Tampa? Why, Spamalot, of course! Wondering what you missed? No time for a review now, but I twittered while I was gone. Random thoughts, mostly pointless, mostly in traffic, but it'll tide you over for now.

(by the way, the show was awesome. I was quite pleasantly surprised... thought it would be stupid-silly, but it was amazing-silly)

Happy Birthday to ME!

Do I look a decade older to you?

The Data Path Not Taken

There's a link on the AOL main page today that I certainly won't be clicking:

Anjelica Huston Suns in String Bikini
Leopard-Print Suit Doesn't Cover Much

I'm not sure which bothers me more - extremely old woman in string bikini, or the fact that this is the only entertainment news that AOL has to cover! Either way, thanks, I'll pass!