Not "Almost" This Time

One of my favorite Jamie-isms is, "I got so mad I almost said something." That one sentence really shows a lot of my character. Although I seem it superficially, I am really not outspoken when it comes to dealing with real problems. And ever since the week before Christmas when I actually cried out of work-related frustration, Scott has been imploring me to talk to the boss.

And really, I let it go on for another 3 weeks for one simple reason: I'm a chicken. I hate face-to-face confrontation. I don't want to look like a whiner or like I can't handle my job. Because I'm not and I can. And besides, I don't think he really likes confrontation either. And I worry that rather than asking the guilty party/parties to work harder, he'll just offer out more overtime to the over-worked secretary from downstairs. And her "help" ends up being a hindrance because she only half pays attention to what she's doing and I (of course) get the angry phone calls when we've ruined a surprise or didn't note an allergy or screwed something else up.

**deep breath**

Well at 1:30 this afternoon, after spending the first 90 minutes of my shift doing work that should have been done the night before and fuming, I decided to actually say something. I started an e-mail. Yeah, it's a bit of a cop-out. But this is not the kind of conversation I want to have in front of another member of the team (I still have GT for another two weeks). And he and I are never not busy at the same time. So among the three paragraphs I sent, I think I did an ok job conveying my point without coming off as a spoiled brat. Here's some choice sections:

I am really starting to feel put upon. I don't mind being the unofficial coordinator of the office. I like taking on special projects. And in some masochistic way, I even enjoy the stress of training. But I am getting increasingly irritated looking around me and seeing other people not doing half of the regular work that we should all be doing...

In addition, it is very frustrating for me to come in on Thursdays and consistently
spend at least the first hour of my shift doing work that should have been done the night before... But this is at least 4 out of 5 weeks.

Honestly, I don't know if I have been cleaning the mess quietly and that you're not aware, or if you just don't expect her to do as much work as I do. But it was 1:30 this afternoon before I was able to start making calls. The workload over the past two weeks has caused me to nearly crack a half dozen times. And I understand that by the beginning of February, when **** is back and GT is working on her own, my stress level will go down. But I still think it's unfair that I have not only my special projects to keep me occupied, but also the lion's share of the regular day to day responsibilities as well...

And of course, the Boss was in meetings all day today and won't be back until tomorrow. I've pushed him a little bit in the past on other things, and he generally seemed to not know that whatever was wrong, and agreed with me and fixed the problem. But I've never pushed this hard. And I'm a little worried that the response is going to be, "you're the full time person. make it work." But I have faith in him, and at the very least I believe that they (if not my direct boss, then certainly the Chefs) don't want to lose me more than they don't want to lose anyone else in the office. And I'm certainly not saying "she goes or I go." At this point I'm not even saying "she does her GD work or I go." But I might be saying that in another few months.

But I'm not seriously considering anything right now. I sent my e-mail. I got the angst off my chest. And I put the ball in his court. For now, all I can do is wait... and of course, do a damn fine job training GT (which, if I do say so myself, I am) while doing my work and the work of two other people at the same time.