20 November, 2006

Adventures in Pie Making

3:15 - finally get started no-baking pies after morning out with Scott, stop at Publix (**shudder**), and crazy drive surrounded by rock trucks

3:35 - finished coring, peeling, and "finely chopping" 1 1/2 apples (recipe calls for 1, but I "cored" an awful lot out), rinse cranberries, pop one into mouth only to find out that cranberries are the most sour food EVER!

3:37 - mix apples, cranberries, and other ingredients in saucepan, wait anxiously for boil (because immediately after the boil I have to turn down to simmer or else!)

3:40 - let cats out on balcony to enjoy beautiful fall weather

3:43 - Milo cries to be let in, so I let him in.

3:44 - Milo cries to be let back out, so I open the door and he looks up at me as if to say, "are you CRAZY? it's cold out there!" Kilo, with his orca-like insulation, remains on the balcony.

3:53 - add entire "optional" tablespoon of sugar to cran-apple recipe, realizing that cranberries have NO place in civilized desserts. remove fruit from stovetop to cool.

Start pie #2

3:55 - realize cool whip for pie #2 was supposed to be thawed. go watch last night's Desperate Housewives, come back later!

Start pie #2 again!

5:20 - start whisking cream cheese, milk, and sugar for bottom layer of pumpkin pie, realize that perhaps the fridge-temperature of our apartment wasn't warm enough to soften said cream cheese

5:30 - marvel that the lead story on the 5:30 newscast was the mouse infestation of Apopka. that's right - there's officially no news tonight in Orlando!

5:38 - give up on "silky smooth" texture for pie bottom, decide that cottage cheese is close enough.

5:45 - finish goo for second layer of pumpkin pie, dump on top and smooth

5:47 - get creative and decide to plop the leftover white goo in the middle of the pie, like a delicate cloud of whipped cream in a sky of pumpkin

5:48 - realize "delicate cloud" looks more like a plop of cottage cheese

5:50 - pour cooled fruit mixture (I tasted it - it tastes like apple pie!) on top of bottom layer, which is made of plain yogurt, sour cream, sugar, vanilla extract, and lemon extract (and tastes just like vanilla yogurt!).

5:55 - take picture of pie triumph

6:00 - blog

Still to Come Tonight:

I promised Scott I would make the cornbread for his cornbread dressing (which we "Yankees" would call stuffing). The benefit for me is that I get to turn the oven on. My hands may warm up a little during the baking process!

I need to clean the cat box. Fa la la.

I should clean up the crap all over the apartment. Need to find some empty boxes to stow stuff for 24 hours...

I can almost smell the turkey!


Janette said...

Too funny!

Your narration kind of reminded me of the cooking scene in Bridget Jones's Diary - only the pies promise to be much tastier than blue omelets, orange marmalade and blue soup.

Scott said...

mmmmm, pie looks tasty!!!!