Cooking Tip of the Day

20 minutes is not 1/5 of an hour. Mental math done while stumbling towards bed for a nap is probably not good. Follow my logic here for timing a piping hot ham for dinner:

* 1 pound cooks in 20-25 minutes, therefore a 5 pound ham will cook in 1 hour, so my 11 pound ham will cook in a little over 2 hours. I won't have to start it until 4, which works because I was only planning on napping until 3.

start to drift off to sleep and then...

* 25 minutes is almost 1/2 hour. At 1/2 hour per pound, my 12 pound ham will take 6 hours. Crap! It's already 2:00! But we'll assume that my ham will cook in the 20-minute range instead of the 25 minute range.

sleep for exactly 2o minutes, wake up realizing your horrible math error, and head for the kitchen to bake a ham.

So after I got the ham in the oven (which had pre-heated itself while I was wrangling the ham - which is not actually a ham but a pork shoulder wrapped in a fishnet stocking because 10 pm on Easter night at Wal Mart is not an ideal ham-buying situation), I used an actual calculator to determine when my ham might be done. At 11.67 pounds, my ham will be done between 6:25 and 7:40. At the time, that seemed perfect because Scott worked 10-6 today.

oops - I forgot to factor in the lunch break. Scott works 10-6:30, and has to stop at the store on the way home. He's really not going to be here much before 7:30, and even that assumes that he'll leave work on time, which he rarely does.

But it's ok - the ham will probably still be cold when he gets home. Last time we made a ham (which was actual ass-ham and not shoulder-ham) it took WAY longer than the directions said it would. Besides, I didn't put the thermometer in it, so I won't know when it's done anyway! It'll be ready when Scott gets home to hoist it out of the oven. 12+ pounds of cured meat, pan, and 1" of water is heavy, and I have crappy upper-body strength.

This, boys and girls, is a pretty good object lesson on just why I don't cook. It's heavy, slimy, requires forethought and planning, and leaves pools of pink hammy goo all over the stove.

Happy Easter

mmm...chocolate bunny ears...

I have a snippet of dialogue from work last night that I'd like to share. This conversation took place between me and under-boss:

Me: if you come in the office later and I'm on the floor twitching and unconscious,
Him: kick you?
Me: no! don't kick me! tell the paramedics that I've eaten my weight in jellybeans in the past 48 hours.
Him: ...and they should pump your stomach and prepare for the rainbow gelatinous mess?
Me: yes. and don't kick me!

In retrospect, possibly not funny enough to have typed (twice, since I e-mailed the conversation to Scott last night at work). But it really points to my state of mind. Sugared out! That being said, I'll probably hit the jellybeans hard again today. After all, they're not chocolate, and they are fruit flavored. They must be healthy!

Is anyone out there having ham today? I like ham. We're having Chinese take-out that Scott got last night on his way home from work. Oh well, at least I got pork lo mein!

Easter at the Restaurant

Just thought I'd share some of the random chocolates adorning The Restaurant this week. I was pretty impressed!

First, the front and back of the giant chocolate egg. Yes, chocolate. The thing is about 2 feet tall and was hand painted. With chocolate. Amazing!

Well, if you're not impressed by that, you may as well just skip the rest of the pictures. The next one is the detail of the front egg. Having absolutely zero artistic talent really makes me appreciate this stuff even more!

And, despite our kid-unfriendly reputation, we have two little chocolate bunnies. Aren't they precious?

Let's not forget the Easter flowers! Every now and then the florist really gets it right. I'm only sorry I didn't get a shot of the entire arrangement. It's gorgeous!

Of course, that's within the hallowed walls of The Restaurant. Back in our cinder block office with fluorescent lighting, Easter looks a little different:

I have to say, I'm proud of how my little Charlie Brown Easter Basket turned out. I forgot the grass I bought at Publix, and had to make due with the little bit that was already in this basket (which was already in my office from who-knows-when). And in case you were wondering, nobody is eating the Peeps. Oh well, I like the yellow ones. I ate three of them today (not the ones pictured above - I have the leftovers in a bag in my desk).

So... any Easter decorations where you are?

Tomato - Day Two

Before I go any further, I wanted to point out that my Blogger main screen informed me today that my 444th post was on 4-4. I thought that was so cool I needed to remember it always. <--Loser!

Does anyone know what this tiny little blossom belongs to? Granted, the title of the post might have given it away. Yep, it's a tomato plant - Scott's newest project. More specifically, it's a Roma tomato.

Just think, before long we'll be able to make all sorts of tasty salsa and pasta sauces (or perhaps just a lovely caprese salad) from our own little balcony garden!

Anyway, Scott bought and potted his new "baby" yesterday while I was at work. So today really is day two. I figure the tomato project will go on longer than the CHIA project (only two months for two thriving herbs - I'm a believer!). And Scott is really proud of his green thumb. So this is a win-win for both his ego and my occasional (ha!) writer's block.

Also today on Tales from the Balcony, I would like to present Anatomy of a Roll Over, as demonstrated by Milo:

I'd also like to share this fairly decent photo of Kilo. After all, they are so rare. Looking at his markings, I realize he really is genetically inferior. Female tigers in the wild mate with the male they find who has the most symmetrical stripes and whiskers on his face. Obviously, Kilo doesn't fit that bill! (never mind the undescended testicle... that was subsequently whacked off!) Anyway, this picture makes him look like he's wearing a little backwards Phantom of the Opera mask. Does anyone else see the similarity?

Ouch

I dropped a knife on my big toe this morning. Lucky for me, it was a butter knife. I'm pretty sure it landed blade-down, since there was butter on my toe. It hurt like a M.F., even without any self-amputation. It was one of the heavy Pottery Barn knives. They're like solid {insert heavy element here}.

I guess that's pretty much par for the course for the past 24 hours. Scott and I realized at 11:45 yesterday morning that both of us needed to shower and be out the door for his dentist appointment by 12:20. I wanted to finish watching the show I was engrossed in, so I sent him first. And at 12:10, he finally got out of the bathroom.

So much for the shower.

So we went to the dentist, and I sat in the waiting room and read my Readers Digest (yeah, I think I'm the only person who brings RD with them into a doctor's waiting room). We decided to swing by the Publix that's right there to pick up massive amounts of Easter candy for our co-workers, and were doing our second loop through the deli looking for something quick to eat when who should we run into but my father and his wife.

Here's what I know about the situation: she waved at us, I waved back, and we kept walking in our opposite directions. After they walked past, I actually stopped the cart and looked back, figuring I had Scott there to support me through the awkward family reunion, and my father didn't even stop or turn around. I'm going to go ahead and assume the worst that he saw us first and was pretending he didn't. That's him M.O.

At this point, I would like to stop and thank my mother for officially being the only member of my family who still wants anything to do with me. I really don't know what heinous crime I have committed to be so outcast from everyone I ever held dear, but it hurts.

Anyway, after we left Publix (and I had a brief moment considering running over to their house and claiming the rest of my things) we went and tried out a new eating spot: the Chef's Table, which turned out to be the highlight of the afternoon. It's a deli with some eat-in tables. It's an established business, but they just moved from old Clermont proper down to 27. We each got a sandwich and split some pasta salad. My sandwich was turkey and cheese with mayo and orange marmalade. Sounded too gross to pass up (I am my mother's daughter!). And it was quite tasty! The chef of my restaurant actually recommended the place to me - he knows the chef there - and said they make the best meatloaf sandwich on earth. I guess I'll have to try that next time.

I'm actually working today, and taking tomorrow off. This is probably for the best, because otherwise I'd just be sitting here brooding over my dysfunctional family. And really, I don't think I could handle that.

CHIA Herb Garden - Day 55

Scalzi's Monday Photo Shoot: Take a snap of some of the latest blossoms and blooms near you. If for some reason it's still too chilly where you are, one, you my sympathy, and two, go ahead and use a picture from your archives. But everyone else should go out and take a fresh picture if they can. Let's see what spring looks like here in 2007.

One of the bummers about our balcony herb garden is that it doesn't yield pretty flowers. True, I could have gone 15 minutes from home and captured some truly beautiful professional floral displays (after all, the Flower & Garden Festival is just around the corner - I'm sure there's already a ton at Epcot I could have captured). But I'd rather showcase what's at our own home.

These flowers are on our granddaddy basil plant. This plant has yielded us countless spaghetti dinners, fried eggplant sandwiches, etc. and Scott has even cultivated lots of other basil plants from it, which have been potted and distributed to random people. This particular plant is really past its prime, and has been replaced on the sunny shelf by one of its babies.

While we're out on the balcony, let's check out how our CHIA experiments are doing! I think this might be my last CHIA update, since it seems the crops have stabilized. Obviously, the cilantro is thriving, as are the chives. What shocked me this morning is how well the one single sprout of "don't count me out" dill is doing. I might actually go so far as to say it's a success. Still, it's one sprout. Not a whole lot of culinary possibility there!

Back on Schedule

Ok, so let's go back to what should have been yesterday's blog.

We had to drop the car off at the dealership at 10:30 am, which particularly sucked for Scott, since he worked until 3:30 that morning. It also sucked for both of us because we hit the dreaded morning traffic on 192. It took 1/2 hour to get to the first possible alternate route. So we were late, but not by much.

After dropping off the car, Scott drove me back to work. "Work?" you ask, "Isn't Monday your day off?" Well yes, thank you for paying attention. But today we four reservationists were going to get together and go to the hotel's "spring training," which is basically 2 hours where you flit from station to station and learn about the stuff in the hotel that you didn't know. Our restaurant had a station, and was serving "chicken and mushrooms" which was actually chicken confit and a mushroom custard. The hotel's seafood restaurant actually had two live lobsters on display. Gah! And I won a towel bunny from the housekeeping/front desk station for guessing the answer to a question.

Well, our session was from noon to two, and on our way out my boss came and asked if I could stay and help our "girl chef" run the last session. The big bosses were on their way to a party celebrating yet another Silver Spoon award. So I stayed on. And then I spent 2 hours plating up tiny servings of chicken confit and passing trays.

At 5:00, I finally had a chance to check my voicemail from the Hyundai dealership. The Check Engine light was on because the computer "registered a misfire" so they did something to my spark plugs. They didn't charge me the $45 for the diagnostic because it was so easy to fix. And all I paid for was my oil change (since I was there...) and labor. $42. That's a bit much for an oil change, but cheaper than a new car!

So we went and picked up my car and then drove home. So my two hour work obligation ended up netting me 5.5 hours of OT. That's especially impressive because I hadn't planned on even paying myself for Spring Training because I was just going for the free food and door prizes!

Long Day

I promised my mom I'd put something up here before bed. I must say, though, that I am darn tired and was almost asleep on the couch an hour ago.

So umm... I'm just going to put up a picture. I had a fun day today, so I'll be sure to write about it tomorrow.Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

Check Engine

The Check Engine light was on when I got in the car this morning.  I turned the car off and waited a minute, hoping that the car was just confused. 

No such luck.

It seems to be driving just fine, but ignoring the light has historically been a bad move, so I made an appointment at the dealership for first thing Monday morning.  Now I'll only have to ignore it for two days.

Anyone want to pray for poor Frances?  She might need it...

Tick Tock

Scalzi's Weekend Assignment: What's your favorite time of day and why? It doesn't have to be a specific hour and minute, mind you: "early morning" or "after midnight" or "sunset" works just fine, too. Although if you do have a very specific time, by all means note it.

Right now is my favorite time of day, and I don't mean that in the Susie Sunshine "every minute is great" (**gag**) sense. My favorite time of day is the "Me Time" I set aside for myself between 9:30 and 10:30 every morning. My alarm is set for 9:00, and I leave for work at 11:00. In that time, I have to eat breakfast, pack lunch/dinner, shower, and get ready for work. That leaves me over an hour to snooze, blog, read blogs, e-mail, and otherwise slowly ease into my day.

Unless Scott wakes up, it's perfectly silent - the only time of day there's nothing to listen to. Generally, this is also the time of day when my cats want to either sit on my lap or at my feet. They, too, enjoy our quiet time.

Of course, I do have a favorite "minute" also: 11:11. At some point in junior high, my friends and I got on this kick where we would make a wish if we caught the clock showing all the same numbers (2:22, 4:44, etc.) because a time when all the same numbers on the clock matched was considered lucky. By this logic, 11:11 became the two luckiest minutes of the day.

Extra Credit: What's the longest you've ever stayed awake? I believe that would be my 21st birthday. Less than 48 hours, and I thought I was going to die! I woke up at 6 am on March 2 for class, stayed up all day, had some friends over that night and ended up staying up all night with one of them. We went to breakfast the next morning (on my birthday, and I paid!), and then I got in a friend's car and went home for Spring Break. My gay ex-boyfriend cooked me dinner that night, and then he and his boyfriend took me out to a gay bar for my first legal drinks (and I didn't even get carded). We ended up at a diner at 2 am where exhaustion and alcohol combined to make me cry when our booth got bumped into by a busboy. I think I fell asleep in the car after that.

Of course, I think I've proved that even 24 hours awake can be disastrous in my own special way. Sleep is my friend, and I try not to go without.

Back At It

Today, I returned to the "real world." While there, I caught the trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. I highly recommend it, if only for the clip of Captain Jack and Davy Jones sword fighting.

(note - video quality on here sucks, but I wanted something I could embed. This link is better)

Amazingly enough, my office was still standing when I got back. In fact, there were no major issues for me to tackle at all. I had some correspondence to catch up on, and had to re-learn how to do my job (the brain is apparently still waterlogged), but it was basically business as usual.

Sadly, I returned to the news that my trainee (now fully trained and competent) was offered an amazing job opportunity in a part of the country she really loves. Her last day is April 13. And the Boss is going to be having much-needed back surgery in the coming weeks - with a minimum three week recovery time.

Perhaps I'll have a new trainee by the end of June. Perhaps he or she will last longer than 4 months.

I was about halfway through my shift today when I realized that I really do like my job. I dreaded going back because I was truly enjoying my life of sloth, but once I walked in the door, I was happy to be there. Of course, it helped that I was greeted with a whole bunch of "you were missed" stories from some of the others in the office. I dig the positive reinforcement!

Life is good.

Adventures in Gluttony

Every day that goes by without cruise food is another day when I readjust to snacking on granola bars and having frozen waffles for breakfast. To that end, I thought I'd make a list of everything worth remembering about cruise food from last week.

* Shrimp! Ask anyone who spoke to Scott in the week leading up to the cruise, and they will probably tell you he was most excited about the shrimp. That was our first stop when we first got on the ship. I occasionally enjoy shrimp, but Scott loves the little suckers. The cocktail sauce on these shrimp was pretty heavy on the horseradish - my eyes watered with every bite. Yum!

* Fresh fruit! We started almost every day at the casual buffet up on deck 9. The buffet started with giant bowls of fresh fruit. Every meal, I had fresh pineapple and watermelon, and the occasional grapefruit half (pre-sliced even!).

* The breakfast buffet also had little cream cheese balls, sized perfectly for a half bagel. There was a chive selection and a salmon selection. Both were sublime!

* Soups! Once I realized just how great the soups were, I had one almost every night. I even had delicious roasted red pepper soup and mushroom cream soup - even more exciting when you consider that I don't even like red peppers or mushrooms! They also have cold soups. I tried a cold potato-dill soup, which I might crave if I ever have my jaw wired shut. It tasted like potato salad. But cold potato soup is unnatural and I only ate about half of it. Another standout was the asparagus soup. Mmm... soup!

* Risotto! If there was risotto on the menu, it was on my plate (except for the blue cheese risotto on the vege menu one night. ick!). We had the seafood risotto at Palo, a tomato version at another dinner, and I had a spectacular asparagus risotto.

* We had some pretty great entrees while onboard. Some of my favorites were the tamarind-rubbed pork tenderloin, the sesame-seared ahi tuna, and grilled flounder with a crab-hollandaise sauce. Scott's favorites included the lobster tail, a salmon dish, and a beef tenderloin dish; the details of which escape us both.

* And of course, we can't forget about the desserts! My absolute favorite from this trip was the cappuccino cheesecake from Palo. Not only was it shaped like a cappuccino mug (complete with chocolate handle), it was the best-tasting dessert of the trip. Scott's favorite was also from Palo - he had the panna cotta. We also had an amazing peanut butter and jelly brioche pudding with peanut butter sauce, creme brulee cheesecake, chocolate lava cake, a sundae with brandied cherries, and a bunch of other sugary concoctions.

I don't know about you, but just reading all of that makes me feel full!

Workers on my Vacation

Scalzi's Monday Photo Shoot: Take a picture of people working outside. Because now the weather's right for it (mostly). If you have a photo in your archives of people working outside, that works too.

You know, I was hoping the MPS this week would be something I could use to flaunt more of my cruise pictures. Thank you, John!

Both of these pictures showcase the fabulous crew of the Disney Magic working hard to keep the ship umm... ship shape! Sorry, couldn't resist! The first picture is of the guys painting the bow of the ship while we were docked in St. Maarten. Wow - add that to the list of jobs I don't want! The second picture is a guy on our veranda, stripping the wood on the railing and then refinishing it. Of course, not everyone wears a yellow jumpsuit while painting. Goofy just wears his regular clothes!

Seven Days in Seven Paragraphs

Day One - Embarkation
After the emergency drill, we staked out prime spots on the very front of Deck 10 to watch the horizon move closer and drink our first tropical beverages - a daiquiri/colada swirl for me and a mojito for Scott. We even saw a manatee before we left Port Canaveral. We watched the lame "Welcome Aboard" show, and then got ready for dinner at Lumiere's. Our server team was on the ball, and we were at a table with a retired couple from Alabama (so Scott's accent came back) and a couple from Michigan. The food, as always, was delicious.

Day Two - At Sea
We managed to not sleep all morning and made it to the pool around 11 am, all lathered with sunscreen and toting reading materials and more sunscreen. This ended up being the only day we spent at the pool, since there was so much other stuff going on and because the chairs were all taken by 11 am the next day! We got a call from Palo that they had an available table for dinner that night, and we jumped at the chance to go back for more seafood risotto. This was also formal night, which worked out well for Scott - only one night in a jacket! That night's show was the Golden Mickey's. Since we had seen it on the past two cruises, we skipped seeing it.

Day Three - At Sea

Today started with our character breakfast. I love character breakfasts! We also went to a "class" today - Mixology and Fruit Carving. This was Scott's idea, for the alcohol part ("we should learn to do something with the bottles on the top of the fridge") and I tagged along for the fruit carving. So yes, we learned how to make a couple tropical drinks. The fruit carving was only a demonstration (probably better for me, since I enjoy life with ten fingers!), but WOW! I think that carved fruit is neat, but seeing it made right in front of me made me really appreciate it. It's certainly not the same as carving a jack-o-lantern for Halloween! The evening show was Twice Charmed, which was a post script to Cinderella. I LOVED it! It's my new favorite DCL show. Dinner was at Parrot Cay, and was my least favorite meal of the cruise, but the desserts made up for it. I also got to watch Cinderella 3 on the big outdoor screen while Scott read one of his James Bond books.

Day Four - St. Maarten

Our first port! Our snorkel excursion started with a bus ride to the French side of the island (St. Martin) and then a boat ride over to Pinel Island. The weather was a little wet and the waves were pretty choppy. We did see some interesting sites snorkeling, but I haven't gotten those pictures back yet. Once we exhausted ourselves in the water, we went over to the beach and chilled until it was time to take the boat/bus back to the Dutch side (St. Maarten). The island seemed way too much like Nassau for me - tourism-driven economy and all. Scott got a pretty wicked sunburn on his back - my fault I guess - and had to snorkel the next day in a t-shirt to prevent it getting worse. Who knew the sunburn wouldn't be the worst part of that day? This was the night of the Pirates deck party and midnight buffet, but we skipped it to prepare for the next morning.

Day Five - St. Thomas/St. John

St. Thomas is a U.S. port, and required a visit to Customs at 6:15. Scott woke up with a massive head cold/ear ache/sore throat and I dragged him from Customs to breakfast to our shore excursion. We also had to tender at St. Thomas (take a little boat from the big boat to the shore). Tendering sucks! It's scary for someone afraid of heights, and it's slow. On the way out, we actually got straight from the ship onto a ferry over to St. John, which wasn't quite as bad as the tender back onto the ship. The part of St. John that we were on is part of the U.S. National Park Service. Of course, this means there were no tacky tourist shops - only tacky open-air taxis. The snorkeling at St. John was the highlight of the trip for me. The surf was pretty rough, but the coral there is abundant, along with the sea urchins and a whole bunch of fish I couldn't identify. Back on board, we relaxed for the rest of the day. I went and saw Wild Hogs in the movie theater while Scott slept. And we lucked out and were by ourselves at dinner. Our table mates were nice enough, but it always feels awkward to fill an entire dinner conversation with smalltalk and was good to just talk to each other.

Day Six - Back at Sea

Scott was pretty much dead to the world today. I took the opportunity to do some stuff that he otherwise would have dreaded. I started the day with the behind-the-scenes look at the theater and actually got to stand on the stage and look out into the audience - pretty cool, even if the seats were all empty. And since they allowed photos, I took lots to show Scott what he had missed. I did the galley tour in the afternoon, which Scott was actually disappointed to miss. I took some pictures, but they pretty much showcase the same thing: lots and lots of stainless steel. I also watched two more movies, Bridge to Terabithia and The Guardian. Dinner tonight was the "Captain's Dinner," a.k.a. lobster night. I actually had seared tuna instead and it was everything that my birthday dinner wasn't - moist, tender, and perfectly rare.

Day Seven - Castaway Cay

While sitting out on deck eating breakfast, a server approached us and asked if we'd like to move inside because of the approaching bad weather. We moved inside and weren't even seated when the deluge started. Of course, this is what Scott had been expecting, since we'd never had good weather on our Castaway day. But by the time finished eating, the sky had cleared and we ended up having a fabulous day sitting on lounge chairs under an umbrella. We read and cat napped and eavesdropped on the (loud) conversations around us. The rest of the day rounded out with stupid pictures around the ship, packing, dinner, and the farewell show. The show definitely had its cheesy moments, but I'm enough of a Disney freak that shows like that always make me tear up.

So that's the briefest possibly synopsis of the cruise that I could possibly offer. I could (and still might) do an entire post on our adventures in gluttony. I love cruise food! And tomorrow I'll be picking up my photos (and photo CD) from the waterproof camera and will have to add another post all about our ports of call!

Rather than do yet another "same old" scrapbook, I took an idea I saw on a web board and did a photo scavenger hunt while on board: find something to represent every letter of the alphabet. So I'll be putting the scrapbook for this vacation together alphabetically. We (ok... I) had a lot of fun finding the letters. That's how we ended up with some of my favorite photos, like the one of me in the "A" - Atrium in the previous post. It was also a great boredom buster for those days at sea and a fun creativity exercise. Hopefully the 101 digital photos I sent over to Wal Mart this afternoon will find their way into a book by the time I go back to work. Otherwise I may never finish it!

I leave you with Sunset on Day One, as captured by Scott from our veranda.

Adventures in Island Hopping

We're back! And we are TIRED! Oh yeah, and we are stumbling around the apartment because it won't stop rocking back and forth.

I'll be back with more details later (or tomorrow). For now, here's a few pictures...

Me in the atrium of the Disney Magic

Scott lounging with a book on Castaway Cay

An example of what happens when your digital camera can store 1,000+ photos

Formal night

St. John - I don't know if I have ever seen a more breathtaking place in person.

Who doesn't love a character breakfast??

St. Maarten was a little like Nassau with mountains... but it did have this cool sign at the port!

Well, I spent the better part of this afternoon sorting through 250ish digital images - cropping, resizing, and saving the best 150. I still need to take our waterproof camera over to Wal Mart to have it developed, but that will wait a day.

CHIA Herb Garden - Day 36

This is really a post about a dramatic cilantro, now fully aromatic and with leaves that look like "real" cilantro. Scott pulled a leaf off a few days ago and stuck it under my nose and it smelled just like salsa! That's good, right?

Of course, the chives keep plugging along. I think it's funny that we're growing this stuff in a pot, considering we had onion grass in our lawn in New Jersey. Is there really any difference?

The marjoram is a complete loss. As for the dill, there's one sprig left. One. And amazingly enough, it's growing outside the original CHIA sponge-dirt (the lighter brown on the left of the photo below). Hopefully they'll all still be alive when we get back from our cruise.

We're On Vacation!!!

...and my feet already hurt!

I spent my first day of vacation Park Hopping with Mom and Michael all around Epcot... except only in Future World. I can't believe we didn't even get to Mexico for margaritas! Apparently it's spring break somewhere, and the lines were long and the FastPasses were all handed out. We waited 1/2 hour for HISTA and an hour for Soarin'. At least we walked right on to Figment and the Land boat ride and Spaceship Earth! Mom wanted to do Test Track, but the single rider line wait was over an hour. Who has time for that?

Oh well, maybe next time!

I did have an unexpected moment of Disney magic today. The "old folks" stopped to do some survey (ironically, all about food & beverage and we didn't even buy a Coke in the park!) and I wandered over to the Leave a Legacy kiosk. There was no line, and I was able to have the nice lady look up my tile. So here we are in our etched-metal-on-granite-monolith glory: me and Christina. Scott and I had only been dating a month when I got my free tile offer, and rather than immortalize "some guy I was dating," I decided the picture of us daughters would make a great Father's Day gift for my dad.

Really, what are the odds that Scott and I would still be together five years later, and that the sister would have been the short chapter in my autobiography?

Anyway, we did have a good time today, despite the crowds. Michael had never been to WDW before, and while I would have taken him over to MK to do the classic rides, we had fun. The only thing that could have improved it would have been one of those rainbow margaritas with sugar on the rim... but I guess I'll have plenty of time for margaritas in 5 days!!

Note: the Legacy tile photo is courtesy of my mom's camera phone. I'm going to go back and take a picture with my good camera. All I had today was the pocket-size, which took pictures even blurrier than that one! But I did get a decent picture of the grown-ups.

F.I.M.S.

Note: I was going to write this post last night, but I was tired (and lazy). I'm glad I waited a day, because now the entry will be much fuller!

I have found a new ailment associated with being born without a mental stop sign: Foot In Mouth Syndrome, or FIMS. The symptoms are so similar it took years for me to be diagnosed with FIMS. But alas, there is no denying that I have it. Watch out - scientists aren't yet sure whether or not it is contagious.

FIMS, much like hemorrhoids, flares up without warning. One minute, you're just sitting there doing your job, and the next minute you are on metaphorical fire (facial or ass-al).

Yesterday, I had quite a flare-up. Background: my boss has mentioned on multiple occasions that his adult son (in his early 20's) is messy and that his wife (boss's - not son's) cleans up after him and it is a pet peeve of my boss. Yesterday afternoon, there were four of us in the office - boss, under-boss, me, and GT - when the boss announces that his son signed up for the Marines over the weekend and that he'd be leaving for boot camp in the summer. Of course, the first thing to pop into my head was the first thing out of my mouth: "does he know he can't being his mom to make his bed?" And unfortunately, under-boss and GT laughed a little too hard.

oops.

I temporarily forgot that there is a WAR going on, and that the Marines are the first ones to go anywhere bad or scary. Plus, he's going to be driving (piloting?) some amphibious assault thing. And those amphibious guys are usually the first of the Marines to go anywhere bad and scary. And the boss is stressed because his wife can't seem to stop crying for any major length of time.

I decided the best way to handle the situation is to keep my mouth shut until after my vacation. No jokes. No antics. Just behave myself, speak when spoken to, and make sure I have a job to come back to!

Unfortunately for me, my job requires that I talk to people, even during these FIMS flare-ups. Tonight, for example, I called a couple who will be having dinner at the restaurant during my vacation. I got the wife on the phone, identified myself, from the restaurant in the city (because sometimes the out-of-towners have no clue what I'm talking about if I don't mention the city) and told her I was calling to confirm their reservation. She laughed, and said she would need to check with her husband.

It took two minutes for the husband to get to the phone.

This did not bode well.

Especially when he got to the phone and used the "I'm really mad at you" voice.

I thought perhaps the reservation may have been a surprise, based on the wife's reaction. It was. Not only was the dinner supposed to have been a surprise - the whole Florida vacation was. And I single-handedly blew the whole thing!

The husband was really unhappy, and I apologized about every ten words, but the damage had been done. When our uncomfortable conversation ended, I called his hotel concierge (who had booked the dinner reservation) to give them a heads-up in case he called them hootin' and hollerin' about it. The concierge looked in his folio and couldn't even find any notation that the reservation was a surprise. This means it's not really my fault. But if it's ok with you, I'll believe that it was my fault.

And my boss is treating the situation like it was my fault as well. Well, the restaurant's fault. We're sending them a gift basket - one of those fancy champagne and cheese and cracker ones - to their hotel room. Ordering it is my first priority when I get to work tomorrow (woo... corporate card!). And I'm sure they'll get hooked up somehow at the restaurant as well.

So look out for symptoms of F.I.M.S. in your own activities. Don't let it go untreated. And please share your own embarrassing F.I.M.S. moment in the comments to make me feel better!

Special thanks to random people I found on Photobucket for the use of their pictures. I don't know them... just thought they would help illustrate my plight!

Disney Dorks

Yes, yes, I too am a Disney Dork. But I'm not quite sure I am at the same level as these people. See, Disney paired up with careerbuilder.com to do this wacky contest where people got the chance to have a Disney "dream job" for a day. Choices were Jungle Cruise Skipper, Haunted Mansion Maid/Butler, Princess-in-Waiting, Parade Performer, or Disney Pirate. I don't know what the actual application process looked like, since I'm a bit ineligible, but each position has "finalists" up on the web site with videos promoting themselves.

And we get to pick the winners!

I haven't watched them all yet, but some of my current favorites are the PhotoShop whiz, the "life of the potty," chinless Jason, and MsDizWiz, who confesses that she has no shame! Most of the wannabe Princesses and Parade performers are the annoying cheerleader type. Really annoying. As in I couldn't sit all the way through most of the 30-second videos! But I did throw a vote to Heather, because she had some baby pictures and prat falls.

Anyway, if you need a laugh (or need to feel better about yourself), check out the site. It's a decent way to blow a few minutes.

Wicked Was Good...Tampa Was Not

Scott and I had a really good time at the show last night. It was a lot more smoke and mirrors than I prefer, but a show about witches obviously needs to include special effects. The cast was really talented, and even though we had nosebleed seats, it was still a great show.

That being said, it's going to take the second coming of Aida to get me back to that city. Not only was all of downtown Tampa under some sort of construction, our exit off the interstate was closed and the next exit dumped us into some west-side ghetto with no stores or gas stations and we looped through downtown (once we found it) about 3 times deciding whether to find an ATM for parking money or park a few blocks away on the street (we lucked out with a spot 2 blocks away).

Tampa is also severely short on eating establishments. We walked 2 blocks from our car (opposite direction from the theater) to a mom & pop pizza place, but gave up on it when we saw the chairs up on top of the tables. Dinner ended up being 2 muffins, 2 cokes, and a pack of Twizzlers from the theater lobby ($16).

After the show, we left downtown and went back towards our hotel. In that neighborhood (east Tampa), there are plenty of grocery stores and fast food chains. Sadly, most were closed by the time we got there. We tried McDonald's, but they must have been understaffed - people weren't using the squawk box to order, they were just driving up to the window. So we kept going. Ten miles later, we settled on a Subway inside a gas station. Processed chicken has never tasted so good.

Luckily, the Days Inn we stayed at (my opinion: if a hotel is roach-free, I don't care if there are prostitutes and drug dealers as long as they don't knock on my door) had non-lumpy mattresses and we got a good night's sleep before heading back home this morning.

Today concludes our mini-vacation. Tomorrow begins my "marathon" four days of work before our real vacation. I'm so glad that trip won't require driving unfamiliar roads!

(and for anyone wondering about my tooth, it is MUCH better. I've "only" taken 6 pills so far today. it still hurts at times, but I'm pretty sure it's going to stay in my mouth)

Previously Unreported

Birthday Festivities

I didn't bother reporting on my birthday evening because, quite frankly, it wasn't worth mentioning. Our plan was to go to the Brown Derby for dinner and then go see Fantasmic. In fact, I made a 4:40 reservation just so we'd be out in enough time to wait in line at the stadium. Dinner was pretty underwhelming. Our appetizers and our desserts were delicious (mmm... grapefruit cake..) but our entrees weren't spectacular, and certainly weren't worth $25 each! I'm not so much complaining. But we used a 50% off coupon and dinner was still $60. This was my second underwhelming experience there - I doubt I'll go back.

As for Fantasmic, it was pretty chilly out. It was drizzling on and off and the wind was blowing pretty hard. The idea of camping out on a metal bench freezing our butts off for an hour before the show just didn't thrill either of us. So instead we went home, piled a bunch of blankets on the living room floor and camped out and watched crappy movies on TV.

The Never-Ending Cavity

For this story, we'll have to rewind about two months. After my root canal at the specialist in downtown Orlando, I had to wait over a month for an appointment with my dentist to do the crown (mostly because they took two weeks off for the holidays). On January 22, he was going to do my crown (upper-right) and fill two little cavities in #18 and #19 (lower left). In the weeks preceding that appointment, one of those bottom teeth had become a little sensitive. So rather than fill both, he "cleaned out" #19 and we were going to see if it got better or worse before deciding whether or not it needed a root canal.

My next appointment was February 5, when it was decided he'd do a root canal. That was the time when he said "come back next week" and I couldn't get another appointment until the 26th. Of course, some time between the two appointments, the tooth really started to hurt. That's when I learned he'd done half of the root canal and would be finishing it on the 26th. So when I showed up at 8 am (grr) on the 26th I was ready for this tooth to never hurt again.

Yes, I know that it sometimes takes a few days to recover from a root canal. I was prepared to take ibuprofen non-stop for another two or three days. What I wasn't prepared for was the absolute agony my mouth would be in. I wasn't able to sleep on my left side, because I would wake up with white-hot pain covering the left side of my face. I was taking 600mg of ibuprofen every 4 hours (the package says not to take more than 1200 in 24 hours, if that gives you any indication). So Thursday I called and they prescribed me some pain killers (since the vicodin didn't do anything but make me high, they gave me darvocet) and yet another round of amoxicillin.

By yesterday morning, I could tell I was a little bit better. I still couldn't chew on the left side, but I wasn't in constant pain that the painkillers weren't touching. Still, I had Scott call the dentist and they were nice enough to fit me in at the end of the day. So they x-rayed the tooth again (and told me what a beautiful job he did). He actually filed the tooth down a little bit so that I can bite without banging it into my top teeth (by the way, this hurt A LOT - he didn't want to numb my whole jaw for 15 seconds of work). He listened to me when I said the first two pain pills didn't make the pain stop - that they just made me high - so he gave me a third prescription. And it seems that if the antibiotics don't knock out what he assumes is the infection that he thought he got out during the second half of the root canal in the next few days, apparently the next course of action is to pull the darn tooth and just put in a bridge. Yikes!

It does feel better. I'm guessing that it is infected and that the amoxicillin is doing its job. Amazingly enough, it seems that my vacation is paramount here. Both the dentist and the hygienist kept referencing it and saying we need to get it all taken care of so I'm not in pain. Funny, I was desperately in need of a root canal on the top in December for that cruise. I was just starting to think that I was doomed to carry ibuprofen with me everywhere for the rest of my life!

I just find the entire process ironic - there I was in January with two little cavities. Here I am in March with one cavity that hasn't even been touched yet, another that's still in trauma, and enough prescription pain killers to go into a black market side business. Scott, on the other hand, goes in to the dentist and comes out with a potentially catastrophic diagnosis on one of his teeth. Three appointments later, he's completely fixed.

But I know that expression that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Apparently I can - and will - handle a lot. I would just prefer to not handle it in my mouth!

Family Time

Scott had this brilliant idea tonight - bring ZoePig into the living room. I'm not sure if it was some sort of feline psychology experiment or if he just wanted to be the first one to feed her the fresh parsley we bought at Target today (Target, by the way, has the freshest cheapest parsley you can find anywhere).

So there they were in the man chair, and both cats moved in for a closer look. Kilo jumped up on the arm of the blue chair and sat there trying to figure out how to attack. Milo, meanwhile, jumped on the sofa behind me, and then jumped onto the back of the man chair. It was like that scene in Jurassic Park when the one raptor stands in front of the prey and then the other two attack from the sides.

The longer Kilo sat there, the more I got the impression he was running old Tom & Jerry cartoons in his head, picturing the Pig in between two pieces of bread with a slice of cheese and some mustard. He even started licking his lips!

So of course I grabbed my camera and snapped some pictures. Sadly, Milo was sitting on the floor between Scott's feet for most of ZoePig's parsley time, so I didn't get any pictures with both of them in it. But this story was really all about Kilo anyway...

Note: Kilo wasn't really launched across the room. He pretty much gave up and left the party. I was just looking for an excuse to throw in the gratuitous Milo "pretty boy" picture!

One Down...Eight to Go

Can you believe it? Thanks to a monster chunk of vacation time taken this month, I am working a grand total of NINE DAYS (indicated in purple below). Every time I see that, I just laugh. It's ridiculous, right? Well, keep in mind that I only work 4 days a week anyway, and would have been working 19 days this month. It still doesn't sound like much. But trust me - I am going to enjoy those days off!

Scott and I took this weekend off for my birthday (which, by the way, is tomorrow. I expect you all to call and leave me birthday messages!). And we took two weeks off later in the month to go on vacation.

So what's on the agenda? Well let's focus on the near future. Tomorrow we're going to go to dinner at the restaurant of my choice and then we're going to see a show of my choice. Want more details? Wait until tomorrow night!

And of course, Tuesday we're going down to Tampa to see Wicked!

As for the big vacation, I'm not quite ready to reveal those details yet.

Speaking of birthdays, I mentioned mine to my boss last night (when I reminded him that I wasn't working this weekend). He said, "oh yeah, happy 29th." And I stopped and thought, "how does he know how old I am?" And after almost a minute, I realized that I'm not going to be 29 - I'm going to be 28. So we had a good laugh about the fact that I couldn't remember how old I am. And he noted that he knew I was in my "upper 20's" and that he was close. It took me until I was driving home last night to realize that when he said "29" he probably thought he was being polite and that I was, in fact, older than that.

Older than 29? That's 30+. Gah!