05 April, 2010


Scene: Saturday afternoon, Jamie is on the couch watching TV while Scott is preparing to season his new grill (a process which requires burning a lot of charcoal for a long time, and which has no burgers at the end).

Scott goes outside to... do something involving the grill, and promptly comes right back in.

SCOTT: I draw the line at men sunbathing in the "back yard"

JAMIE: Is it Kirk? (our nickname for the guy who lives next door. the one with the pit bull, who sings 70s prom music at the top of his lungs, and slams his door all the time because he apparently doesn't understand physics)

SCOTT: (shaken) I don't know who it was.

JAMIE: Is he out on his chair?

SCOTT: He's on a lawn chair spread-eagle.

JAMIE: So? Go back out and finish what you are doing.

SCOTT: No way I'm going back out there! I saw testicle once, NEVER AGAIN!

JAMIE: You saw ball?!?!?

SCOTT: He's got his knees up, his legs spread, and his shorts are baggy!

A few minutes later, someone shirtless walks past our window having a conversation with someone we can't see. Scott peeks out and tells me the gator is back in the pond.

JAMIE: Take my camera and go get a picture!

SCOTT: No! There's still a half-naked man out there!

JAMIE: But I'm not wearing a bra. By the time I get decent, it'll be gone.

All that to say this photo would've been so much better had there not been a rogue testicle behind our house: ...and the sunbather wasn't Kirk. It was some guy we'd never seen before. Apparently there's renters on the other side of Kirk. I'm assuming that's who it was.

DISCLAIMER: this might not have been the exact conversation...but all the relevant bits (heh heh... 'bits!') are there.

1 comment:

wickedmess said...

At least your naked guy sounds younger. Our neighborhood near nude is in his 70s! (And who the hell sunbathes these days? Idiots.) At least I've never seen the dangly bits of our guy but of course I make certain to never look directly at him. I'll be even more determined about that now!