Did you know that April is National Smile Month? Enjoy the last day of the happiest month of the year with some lame jokes...
Two peanuts were walking down a spooky road at night... One was assaulted.
A termite walks into a bar room and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
"Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud."
"Yes sir, it's fresh ground."
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?
Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
Famous last words of a Mafia hitman: "Who put the violin in the violin case?"
What's brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
What do you call spending the afternoon with a cranky rabbit?
A bad hare day.
Where do kings keep their armies?
In their sleevies.
Why don't anteaters get sick?
Because they're full of anty-bodies.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies!
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it naked or homeless?
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!
What was the centerpiece at the annual anorexia and bulimia convention?
A cake jumping out of a girl!