Really, why "comedy of errors?" Why not "avalanche of unfortunateness?" Why not, "list of reasons Jamie shouldn't have left the house this morning?"
So you want the story?
First, a little map of my local area:
The blue line represents my normal route to work. It's mostly one lane in each direction, double-yellow lines all the way, and a little out of the way, but the speed limit is 55 for most of it and there's minimal stop signs/traffic lights.
The red line represents the most direct route to work. It's a total of only 4 roads, but full of unpredictable tourist traffic and 12+ traffic lights.
The green line represents the road not taken. The section where this line is separate from the red is a new toll road, which costs $1 to literally drive less than 2 miles. It's a racket, and generally best avoided.
Now I'm ready to tell my story.
I was driving behind a slow truck at the beginning of my travels today. He was in the left lane going about 40 mph (speed limit: 55), but I didn't bother passing him on the right because I was about to turn left onto the back road. When I saw his turn signal pop on, I decided that I didn't want to go 40 all the way to work. Sure, I had plenty of time, but I just didn't feel like dealing with driving behind a slow guy for 20 minutes.
By the next traffic light along the red route, I realized my error. I was at the point of the day where the tourists are all out (really... 11 am... every day... for no apparent reason...) and traffic was sloooooow. I called Scott around 11:20 when I realized I might not make it to work on time. While talking on the phone and driving (you know - 5 mph), I fished around in my purse and found 4 quarters and decided to take the green route.
I had never taken this road before and was surprised how long it was before I ended back on the red route again. The green route saved me probably a half hour of traffic on 192, and I was back on track to make it to work on time.
...until I got onto World Drive and the world, quite frankly, stopped driving. My guess is they were rerouting traffic away from the Magic Kingdom, although I'm really not 100% sure that was the hold-up.
At 11:45, I text messaged Scott (because I had some free time and because talking to him would have only led me to yell at him out of frustration). What follows is the texts back and forth while I am driving less than a mile down the road: (keep in mind, I was supposed to be at work at noon)
(11:47) Me: F ing turnaround
(11:48) Him: Think you will make it in 15 minutes?
(11:50) Me: Sitting under bridge 1. Prolly not.
(11:51) Him: Wow...just not your day for traffic
(11:52) Me: Understatement
(12:02) Me: Ahoy! Toll plaza 100 feet ahead!
(12:03) Him: Holy Crap
I made it to work a mere 15 minutes late. And I was still in decent spirits. But the shift was rough. Things just continued to go this way for the rest of the night. I realized that waking up on the wrong side of the bed won't screw with my karma, but taking the wrong road to work sure will.
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