29 December, 2006

You Might Call it a "Comedy" of Errors...

...but I don't think it's funny!

Really, why "comedy of errors?" Why not "avalanche of unfortunateness?" Why not, "list of reasons Jamie shouldn't have left the house this morning?"

So you want the story?

First, a little map of my local area:
The blue line represents my normal route to work. It's mostly one lane in each direction, double-yellow lines all the way, and a little out of the way, but the speed limit is 55 for most of it and there's minimal stop signs/traffic lights.
The red line represents the most direct route to work. It's a total of only 4 roads, but full of unpredictable tourist traffic and 12+ traffic lights.
The green line represents the road not taken. The section where this line is separate from the red is a new toll road, which costs $1 to literally drive less than 2 miles. It's a racket, and generally best avoided.

Now I'm ready to tell my story.

I was driving behind a slow truck at the beginning of my travels today. He was in the left lane going about 40 mph (speed limit: 55), but I didn't bother passing him on the right because I was about to turn left onto the back road. When I saw his turn signal pop on, I decided that I didn't want to go 40 all the way to work. Sure, I had plenty of time, but I just didn't feel like dealing with driving behind a slow guy for 20 minutes.

By the next traffic light along the red route, I realized my error. I was at the point of the day where the tourists are all out (really... 11 am... every day... for no apparent reason...) and traffic was sloooooow. I called Scott around 11:20 when I realized I might not make it to work on time. While talking on the phone and driving (you know - 5 mph), I fished around in my purse and found 4 quarters and decided to take the green route.

I had never taken this road before and was surprised how long it was before I ended back on the red route again. The green route saved me probably a half hour of traffic on 192, and I was back on track to make it to work on time.

...until I got onto World Drive and the world, quite frankly, stopped driving. My guess is they were rerouting traffic away from the Magic Kingdom, although I'm really not 100% sure that was the hold-up.

At 11:45, I text messaged Scott (because I had some free time and because talking to him would have only led me to yell at him out of frustration). What follows is the texts back and forth while I am driving less than a mile down the road: (keep in mind, I was supposed to be at work at noon)

(11:47) Me: F ing turnaround
(11:48) Him: Think you will make it in 15 minutes?
(11:50) Me: Sitting under bridge 1. Prolly not.
(11:51) Him: Wow...just not your day for traffic
(11:52) Me: Understatement
(12:02) Me: Ahoy! Toll plaza 100 feet ahead!
(12:03) Him: Holy Crap

I made it to work a mere 15 minutes late. And I was still in decent spirits. But the shift was rough. Things just continued to go this way for the rest of the night. I realized that waking up on the wrong side of the bed won't screw with my karma, but taking the wrong road to work sure will.

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