Beach, Nap, Food, Repeat

Before our vacation, I had made very simple plans: beach, nap, food, repeat. Today, we spent a little under 2 hours at the beach, then showered and headed out to lunch at Aunt Rose's (where we also saw Gary and Aubrey and Laura). No nap. I've been in a sort of zombie trance for the past few hours, even after the tasty dinner we had at Scott's restaurant of choice.

I posted family pictures to my Facebook vacation album, but for here I thought I'd stick with another beach photo from last night. With a little editing, this picture might be really sweet.

If you'll excuse me, I'm off for cookies and then bed.

Please Don't Hate Me...

If it helps, future me already resents present me for this!

And Janette, I want you to know that I haven't stopped bird-watching just because I'm on vacation. In fact, here are a few pictures I took tonight ON THE BEACH OMG CAN YOU FREAKING BELIEVE IT?!?!?

Do We Have a Winner?

The glass tile samples came today. As you can see below, we think we might have a winner. Of course, we have to find a paint color that coordinates with both the tile and my stand mixer. This tile has such a fantastic variety of warm sunset colors, I have to believe we'll have plenty of color options. As for the other samples, I believe the term 'epic fail' may apply. From top to bottom:

* cobblestones - umm...they were buy 4 get 1 free...and I thought the stones would be smaller the actual cobblestones!

* the red ovals were out of stock, so there was a hand-written note on my invoice: "out of stock - try opal ovals." the opal is lovely, but what project could I possibly be doing where the two would be interchangeable?

* desert waterfall: I really do love this one. I bought it because out master bath is shades of sand and blues and some day we plan to get rid of the crappy plastic shower surround. It's too expensive to do more than an accent, but isn't it awesome?

* sunset mosaic - totally needs to be in my kitchen!'

* got twizzlers?


So now I have some fun glass tiles to do arts & crafts. I don't know what kinds of crafts, but there's got to be something!

To the Beach!

With stories like this, is it any wonder I'm escaping to the beach while I can? Who knows how long it'll be before we can do it again?

I'm sure vacation will be bittersweet, but boy are we looking forward to unplugging!

Fail!

I didn't post yesterday, but it's totally not my fault. See, Scott and I carpooled, despite the fact that in the past two weeks, Tuesdays are the days where the s--t hits the fan in his job and he ends up having to stay late.

It couldn't possibly happen THREE weeks in a row!

It happened.

I ended up sitting around for two hours. We got home around 12:15.

I think we're carpooling today, which means I really should be in the shower by now! I've got a very exciting day at work that I can't talk about AT ALL publicly. And truth be told, I doubt the rest of the world would even be interested. But I'm bringing a paper bag with me in case The Boss starts to hyperventilate!

Sample Sale

I ordered some sample sheets of glass mosaic tile - potentials for an accent for our kitchen back splash. Here's a photo of what we're going for (a Facebook photo of a high school friend's recently remodeled kitchen), followed by some of the tiles we're considering:



Disclaimer: when I say "we" are considering these options, I really mean Scott hasn't vehemently objected to my ideas. As it turns out, red isn't an easy color tile to find. This means we're really going to have to find and commit to the tile and then find a paint color to coordinate.

Anyway, I'm quite excited to get our samples. I'm absolutely in love with the ovals (picture them sideways, in a row maybe 4 ovals high), but tile is one of those things you can't go too crazy with. It's forever-ish.

I'll update when the samples come in!

Muscle Memory

We bought Super Mario 3 on Wii yesterday. It's strange how many little shortcuts I remember, and yet so far we can't make it past the second world.

Anyway, if you need me during my spare time in the next few days, it's likely you'll find me in front of the Wii.

Lazy Day

Scott and I are home from grocery shopping, and we're doing laundry before our next outing. You can tell I've been sitting still too long because I've got Milo laying on my left (check out the new polka dot throw pillow) and Elphie on my right.

Milo, by the way, does not like the sound of typing. Ever since I started, he's been shooting me the meanest looks! And since he's mad at me anyway, to the right is a picture of all four of Milo's feet, twisted up in a most inexplicable way. The one at the bottom (pads up) is one of his front feet, and the curled one at the top (on the polka dot) is a back foot. Like I said, inexplicable!

Snapshots from the Day

Scott and I spent just enough time in Epcot today for me to get a raging sunburn (roughly two hours). During that time, we had margaritas, saw butterflies in various stages, saw a duck family braving its way across the sidewalk, and saw some flowers.

We also saw something unexpected (besides the ducks). As we were leaving the butterfly tent, I noticed 50ish goobers standing across a pond from us, staring in our general direction and clapping and taking pictures. I looked at Scott and asked what the heck they were looking at, half expecting to see a celebrity behind us. Just then, one of the people working in the area asked if we were going to watch the shuttle. Sure enough, we turned around just in time to see the flash of orange disappear into the top of a magnolia tree. Thirty seconds later, I was distracted by the ducklings. It was strange though, all of the people just stopped where they were to watch. Some even clapped. It was sort of a unifying moment.

Anyway, here are some pictures from our adventure. The first three are the life cycle of a butterfly, from caterpillar to breaking free and learning to fly, to full-fledged awesomeness. Then some ducks. Then the margaritas.

Something Real

So at the risk of sounding optimistic or hopeful, I think my interview went ok. The hiring manager said she'd definitely be calling my manager for a chat, and even though she's out of town today through Tuesday, she said she would let me know either way by the end of next week. I didn't ask how many people she had interviewed, but I know I was the last one. I can't imagine she would waste her time checking out my references if she already had her mind made up to hire someone else.

For now, I'm doing my best to not think about it. Scott and I have a few fun diversions planned this weekend, and we've got chores (and sleep) to catch up on. Tomorrow is my 10-year company anniversary, and to celebrate we are going to my favorite Afrindian restaurant for lunch, and then going to Epcot to have margaritas for dessert. I'm sure we won't stay long - I melt in 90-degree heat - but this is the last weekend of the Flower & Garden Festival and I'd like to get a few pictures.

Lyrics and Music

I made up a song to sing to my cats today. Kilo seemed to really like it. Milo tolerated it. And Elphie won't have any part of it. Here are the lyrics:

Scratching your head
I am scratching your head
Scratching your head
I am scratching your head
Scratch your head

Now we can have a sing-along!

Slow News Day

It's been a slow news day for me. My work trainee was with me for the past week, and I love her and she's doing really well, and I'm so glad I can put myself on auto-pilot today and tomorrow and not narrate everything I do!

And so, much like the local news does when they don't have anything to say, I bring you a fluff piece from somewhere else! In this case, the wild migratory birds are a hat-tip to my own bird watching.

Public Servant

It's so good of Stephen Colbert to help come up with solutions to the Gulf oil spill. He's such a giver!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Oil Containment Solution Randomizer
http://www.colbertnation.com/
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

Interviewus Interruptus

I found out 30 minutes before my scheduled interview that my interviewer had a family emergency and wouldn't be there at my appointed time.

So...consider today a dry-run with a scenic one hour drive mixed in. At least I know my suit still fits!

I'm rescheduled for Wednesday morning. Please mark your prayer/good thought calendars accordingly!

I Have Good News and I Have Bad News

The good news for Win McMurry is that no one really watches the Golf Channel, and therefore few people actually heard her say that Tiger Woods pulled out of competition because of his bulging dick. (hello, Google porn searchers!)

The bad news for her is that a lot more people watch YouTube. And read Twitter. Her gaffe will probably turn viral for a few days. It's an honest mistake, which she caught right away, but that's not going to stop me from giggling and pointing.

What can I say? This morning my inner 13-year-old is out to play! I hope she has a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at herself!

As Seen on TV

Guess what they're selling at Target now!

The Emery Cat!

So far, all of the cats like to kill the feather-and-bell-on-a-stick that attaches to the side, and they all enjoy licking the catnip off the board (I guess that means they don't have sharp tongues...). Elphie is the only one I've actually seen scratch on it more than once.

I'll keep adding catnip to get the interested. It would be really great if they'd actually use it. More on this story as it develops...

Vacation Paralyzation

It's getting to the point where we can book cheap last-minute vacations for our scheduled time off. And there's some pretty cheap deals out there. My problem? I'm burned out. All of a sudden those vacation ideas like NYC and DC aren't what I want. I don't want to have to think about travel or about itineraries. What I want is a cruise. But since we still don't have passports, that's out.

So...the beach?

Well, vacation is still far enough away that I don't know whether a Florida beach vacation on either coast is advisable. Damn oil spill!

And then I thought maybe we can find a cheap deal very locally, and have a Universal-Sea World staycation. We already have some Universal tickets, and Discovery Cove for 2 would still be cheaper than airfare anywhere else! Heck, I don't even WANT to swim with a dolphin. I just want to go snorkel and laze around and be take care of for the day!

Other than "out of the house," I don't know what Scott really wants. Maybe we can figure that out today.

Things That Make Me Go Stabby, Part Two

Wow. Just wow...

A Longwood mom who refused to return four Gossip Girl-inspired library books because she objected to their content brought them back to the public library Thursday.

Tina Harden, who had withheld the books since the fall of 2008 to keep young readers from seeing them, said she returned them not because of criticism she received but because she had made people aware of the issue through media attention...

Harden owes $85 in fines but hasn't paid them. She said she's hoping the library will waive the fines.

"It's not that I lost the books or I didn't feel like turning them in," she said. "I want us to work together. Hopefully they have the same goals as I do."

Where on God's green Earth did these people get the impression that they have the right to decide what books go on PUBLIC library shelves? Or that it's ok to just steal books that they don't want their children to read? Was there some sort of break-out meeting at the latest Tea Party convention on how to get around the first amendment? (umm...it's early, please don't tell me if free speech really applies here)

The silver lining to this story?

"After an article about Harden appeared in Thursday's Orlando Sentinel, a man donated replacement books to the library and several others told the library they planned to send checks or books to replace the ones Harden was keeping."

...and the library system is refusing to waive the fines. Yay librarians!

Taking a Break

I'm taking a brief momentary pause from my manicure and watching the last episode of "V" on the DVR to bring an amusing clip from last week's Colbert Report. The part about the KFC pink buckets was particularly amusing. Enjoy!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Tip/Wag - Scientists & KFC
http://www.colbertnation.com/
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Fox News

...and then the phone rang and the world just tilted

I got a phone call at work today. It was a secretary for someone I'd never heard of calling to schedule me for a job interview I'd forgotten I applied for.

Interview? You mean my resume hasn't just been sucked into a black hole? I daresn't believe you! I applied for that position 6 weeks ago...and have applied for probably 50 others in the past few years. I hadn't given up hope... just started considering a resume workshop. I still am, really.

Actually, I was explaining to Scott that getting an interview for this job is sort of like in high school when I was asked out by someone infinitely more popular than I was, and I couldn't figure out why he was asking me out. It's not like we had anything in common... (I couldn't go the time he asked, and I guess it was a one-time deal because he never asked again. oh well) Anyway, while I don't think this department is more popular than me, we don't have a whole lot in common. That is, I'm certain I could do the job, but my background doesn't exactly line up well there!

So the interview is next week. I'll get the ol' interview suit out of the back of the closet, get my hair cut, brush up on my smiling and eye contact, and research what I can about the job between now and then. I'm treating this as a fire drill, because I just can't fathom that they'd really offer me the job.

And that's all I'm going to say about that. I'll post more if I find out more. Much like the last job I interviewed for, I doubt I'll even get the courtesy of a thanks-but-no-thanks letter if I don't get it. Come to think about it, maybe I'm still in the running for that last job. It's only been two years...

"Laughter Through Tears is My Favorite Emotion"

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Beyond Awful
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Tea Party

The situation is NOT funny. But when faced with the option of watching video of dead sea turtles (really - did you see ABC News last night?) or Jon Stewart singing West Side Story parodies, I choose the latter.

Dinner

Tonight's dinner will be a ridiculously ambitious endeavor:

• Pasta with...
• Sauce from scratch (starting with canned tomatoes) and
• French bread from scratch

The occasion? None. Scott came home from work early under the weather, so I stayed home. We convalesced together, and in another 45 minutes we'll be feasting together. We both hope it doesn't suck!

Bon apetit!

UPDATE (the next morning): the bread smells and tastes exactly like the french bread you buy from the bakery at the grocery store. It's fine, but I have this philosophy that anything that takes 4 hours to make better taste better than if it's store-bought. It did, however, make some fan-frigging-tastic double-French toast for breakfast this morning!

Whirlwind

Time flies when you sleep until 11:30!

That's today's public service announcement. I woke up and realized I should have already been in and out of the shower. Oh well, I still made it out the door on time. As a result of my extended slumber (in my defense, I was up past 2 am), I have nothing interesting to say about my day.

Except this: I had several "LOL" moments in President Obama's speech to the White House Correspondents Association dinner last night. I didn't watch Jay Leno's portion, because I'm still boycotting him. And because I don't think he's funny. And in related news, Scott DVR'ed the Conan interview on 60 Minutes tonight. I'm looking forward to watching that soon!

How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways...

I made sticky buns for breakfast. I started the sticky buns around 8:30 last night, and we just ate them. I regret to say there are no pictures of Phase I (last night), which included mixing and kneading the dough. I had a few moments when I really thought there would be no sticky buns at all, given my few stupid screw-ups. There are plenty of pictures from this morning though. Below you will see the rolls in the pan-o-goop, the rolls after 90 minutes of rising, the rolls straight out of the oven, and the rolls "unmolded" onto a baking sheet.This experience was definitely a labor of love. I had more than one temper tantrum moment when I almost threw the whole thing away, with my brand new pastry mat. (here's a hint: weigh down the corners if you don't want your "floured surface" to fling flour all over the kitchen!) In the end, the bread is on par with the best sticky buns I've ever had. The glaze - Bobby Flay's orange-honey glaze from the sticky bun episode of 'Throw Down' - isn't quite right. If you're not a huge fan of honey (or orange for that matter), this isn't the product for you.

Not to sound immodest, but I couldn't be prouder of the way these came out. You can tell in the pictures that I didn't do such a great job rolling the dough, but you can also tell that a lot of work and love went into this. And you can taste it. No lie, despite the killer sweetness of the honey, they are delicious.

I will definitely make them again, though probably not for a few months until my blood sugar goes back down to normal levels, and when I do I'll find a new glaze recipe. Or skip the glaze and do cream cheese frosting instead. But then they wouldn't be sticky buns, and isn't that the point?

Shopped

Well, we went and spent our free money at Sports Authority, and only ended up spending $18 of our own money. That was pretty sweet! We bought:

• a handlebar bag for me
• 2 sweet water bottles (no BPA and dishwasher safe)
• a bike lock with a cable long enough to secure both bikes
• a bottle holder for Scott
• a portable tire pump
• ceiling hooks to hang the bikes (we think we're going to mount them under the neighbor's stairs where they will be easier to get down)
• a padded seat for Scott (the one his bike came with was sort of...utilitarian)

I think that's it. Of course, Scott's got an OT shift tonight, and I have one next week. By the time we're both off, it'll be 95 degrees out! Even if that's the case, we'll just have to get up and go early in the morning when it's "only" 80.

And thus concludes this month's NaBloPoMo entries. I'm going to try to keep going next month, because writing every day is therapeutic in its own weird way. And I know I've never gone 2 months in a row before...

Wish me luck!

Shopping for Free

Scott and I are going back to Sports Authority tomorrow to spend our $100 "free money" we got for buying our bikes. I definitely want to get an air pump and locks. After that, I've got no clue what we should buy.

I'd so much rather have a $100 certificate for clothes or World Market, but beggars can't be choosers!

Anyone have any good ideas for purchases?

Collage

Lucky me! Snapfish came out with a promotion - 50% off collage posters - just in time for me to create my own bird-spotting guide! Here's what I came up with:


Before you judge my placement of the photos, know that I spent 45 minutes hitting 'shuffle photos' again and again trying to come up with something that didn't tweak my OCD. They let you pick out the pictures, and then they place them for you. As you can imagine, that was challenging!

While I wanted to include the otters and the alligator, I didn't want them to be focal points. And at one point (this may have been when Scott almost removed me from my seat), the bottom row of birds were all facing left except for one facing right. *twitch* At least the way this one is set up, they're in all different directions.

Anyway, I'm pretty happy with the way it came out. The poster size is 16"x20", and hopefully we can find a frame for it and hang it downstairs right next to the sliding door. It's not much of a bird spotting guide, since there's no labels, but I'll probably print a small legend to hang next to it. We'll see.

Now I can't wait for it to come in the mail!

Antici...

This is a pretty terrible picture, taken with my camera phone in the noontime bright sun.

It's a magnolia tree outside The Hotel, and it's absolutely covered in buds.

I hope they all bloom at the same time.

Won't that make a fabulous follow-up post?

Surrounded!

I'm surrounded by cats right now. I've got Kilo on my lap sucking on his foot, Milo on the back of the couch, and Elphie was in front of Scott's couch, but now she has disappeared.

I guess that means I'm not actually surrounded...but still feeling smothered!

Yes, Please!

Scott and I made the decision a while ago - sometime between bringing Elphie home and moving - that we can't seriously consider getting any dog while Milo is still around. He adapts to change worse than any pet I've ever had, and when he's unhappy, we're unhappy. (or we're laughing at him for being a jerk...but mostly it's stressful for everyone)

If it were possible for me to bring home a dog today, it would definitely be a greyhound. I've wanted one ever since I was in high school and I met my Aunt Toni's dog. He was the sweetest thing ever. Plus, I'd never buy a dog from a pet store or breeder, so it's basically this or a shelter dog. Scott wants a little short dog, but this is what I want!

...and if I could bring one home today, it would be "Honey Bun." Not just for her name - she just looks like she'd be a good friend.

Here's the link to the local Greyhound Pets of America, in case you want to window shop for a fantasy dog of your own, or would like more information on why you really want one of these dogs!

Nature vs Nurture

One of the nicest things about living in a condo-type dwelling is that someone else takes care of our grass and flowerbeds. Scott and I discovered long ago that the only flowering plant we didn't kill was the basil, and that doesn't really count!

This flower to the left was planted outside our front door. I don't know what it is, but it seems to be in the daffodil/iris family. I bet that last sentence sounded really stupid to anyone who knows anything about flowers. Luckily for me, ignorance is bliss!

Amazingly enough, this isn't the only flower we have right now. It's the only type in the flowerbed, but we've also got two very different flowers blooming out in the pond...

Pardon me while I photo-geek out on the fact that you can see the spider web in the last picture!

I'm a huge fan of the wild flowers, but I'm glad we have the other ones too. And I appreciate the happy accident that lead to them all being coordinating colors!

Potato Salad Humor

For Easter, one of the husband-wife teams at The Restaurant made a buffet spread for the rest of us. There was a ham and a bunch of different sides, and it was the best Easter dinner I've ever had. (the ham was a Honey-Baked Ham, which Scott dislikes, but I'll find a way to have it again somehow...) The surprise favorite of almost everyone was the potato salad. It was the most delicious potato salad I've ever had. It was so light and fluffy you could've eaten a pound of it. And most of us tried!

So after dreaming of this potato salad for a while, I finally asked the guy who made it for the recipe. He said he found it in a Southern Living cookbook and picked it because he had the correct ingredients at home already. But since he had so many compliments, he's going to start telling people it's his secret family recipe. Luckily for me (and you), he was willing to share the recipe. I got it by e-mail yesterday...

Here's the super secret family recipe brought over from Ireland and passed down and tweaked by all of my southern ancestors with some suggestions made by General Sherman as he passed through on his way to Atlanta. The recipe was stolen by Jean Lafitte the pirate but was recovered in New Orleans by Louis Armstrong who returned it to my grandmother (I'd rather not say how they knew each other. Let's just say he liked her "cookin").

I've made notes as to what brand of ingredients I used but of course make it with whatever you like.

Southern-Style Potato Salad

You can substitute light mayonnaise and sour cream with good results.

Yield: Makes 8 servings


4 pounds potatoes (about 4 large) (I used Yukon Gold Potatoes)
3 hard-cooked eggs, grated
1 cup mayonnaise ( Used Dukes brand. Closest flavor to homemade mayo)
1/2 cup sour cream (Daisey's. All natural. lovely flavor)
1/4 cup celery, finely chopped
2 tablespoons onion, finely chopped
2 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
1 tablespoon mustard (Guldons Spicy Brown)
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
1/2 pound bacon, cooked and crumbled (Didn't use this time but I will next time. Who doesn't love bacon?)
Garnishes: chopped fresh parsley, grape tomatoes

Cook potatoes in boiling water to cover 40 minutes or until tender; drain and cool. Peel potatoes, and cut into 1-inch cubes.

Stir together potatoes and eggs.

Stir together mayonnaise and next 7 ingredients; gently stir into potato mixture. Cover and chill. Sprinkle with bacon just before serving. Garnish, if desired.

Decision

Neither of the B&B's that I really liked online were available, and I took that as a sign.

We talked about it this morning, and Scott and I decided to put off our big vacation to Moab until this time next year, when we're hopefully in much better shape than we are now. The idea of hiking the trails of Arches or Canyonlands in my current lack of shape... I just think we'll get more out of it later on.

Make no mistake though, I will get to Dead Horse Point State Park before I die. I need to see this in person!
(plus, there's a brewery that makes "Dead Horse Ale" - you know we need that pint glass for our collection!!)

Don't feel sad for us. We're still going to GTFOH, we're just not sure where yet! One of the online travel sites - I think Travelocity - does last-minute discount packages all over the country. So depending on what's cheap, we're probably going to aim for the mid-Atlantic - NYC, Philly, or DC - for a long weekend.

Biker Gang

Who wants to join my biker gang?

That's right baby - I got a bike! Scott got a bike too, but I can't find it on the internet. And we bought a car rack for them. We got them home in one piece, and then took them for a quick test-loop through the last undeveloped bit of our development. Everything seems to be in working order. I'm looking forward to getting out for a ride that lasts longer than 3 minutes.

I can't wait to get out on the West Orange Trail and maybe even Ft. Wilderness (combine an afternoon of bike riding with a buffet lunch of fried chicken and pulled pork...it evens out, right?).

We can't really get safely outside our development without loading the bikes onto the car because our closest major road is under construction and we don't want to die. So while I'd love to say we're going to bike to the store or some other Earth-conscious claim, right now it would be a big fat lie.

Our purchase entitled us to a $100 shopping card that's valid next week. At that point, we'll get locks and a pump and whatever else we can get for free. Maybe a backpack for our vacation.

Picture(s?) to come...probably tomorrow...

Death and Dismemberment

It's open hunting season here at Casa ParkHopper. As you can see, one of my little hunters is less into the swift and painless death than the Princess Bride "Pit of Despair" version.



Wait, no, that's the wrong Princess Bride reference:

Prince Humperdinck: First things first, to the death.
Westley: No. To the pain.
Prince Humperdinck: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Westley: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Prince Humperdinck: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Westley: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Prince Humperdinck: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Westley: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.

That just about sums it up. I've got a dismembered cricket - yes cricket, and don't anyone dare try to tell me otherwise - under my dining room table and I'm too grossed out to touch it. If only my little hunters killed for food instead of sport...

Not For Sale

Look! I made art!

This used to be a plain white tissue box holder sitting on my desk at work. And then I realized there was a Sharpie in my pencil cup. I intended to cover one side completely in my own weird filigree pattern, but stopped with just a partial border.

It looked so pretty that I did another side.

And then it looked so pretty... that I put the Sharpie back in the cup and vowed to not mess with it anymore.

...but I really want to mess with it some more!

While I was doing this, I thought how much fun it would be to do that on light switch covers. Just a little pop of design on an otherwise blank surface. Maybe I'll go to Lowe's and buy a plain one, paint it purple, and find a metallic silver pen to doodle with. That sounds like a pretty cheap arts & crafts project. And hey - if it works, even better! I'll stick it in the powder room.

Math and Money Monday

I'm not really good with interest rates, so I'm hoping someone can check my math here:

Scott and I have been bouncing around the idea of taking $4,000 of our new home buyer tax credit and dumping it straight back into our mortgage. Our interest rate is 5%. So 5% of 4,000 is 200. Now this is the part where I'm fuzzy. That's 5% annually, right? So $200 per year over 30 years is a savings of $6,000?

That's a lot of money!

A quick look at our most recent mortgage statement shows me that only $172 of our monthly mortgage payment actually goes to the principal, with 4x that much going to interest and the rest going into the tax/insurance escrow account. So $4,000 is like 23 months of principal payments. Right? Wow, that's insanity!

Plus, when we can afford to do so, I over-pay by $150-200 each month, and that goes to principal. So...if I do that every month, does that mean our 30-year mortgage would be paid off in 15? That can't be right!

I'm done geeking out with numbers. If I'm way off, will someone please let me know I shouldn't be so excited? Thanks!

Things That Make Me Go Stabby

Attention Parents: please stop screwing with libraries. Please don't ask the librarians to wade into the murky gray area of "inappropriate." (I love the smell of mixed metaphors in the morning!)

LEESBURG – A Leesburg mother who successfully challenged the young-adult book policy at the Leesburg Public Library is expanding her campaign, hoping to get warning labels placed on some books in libraries across the county.

Dixie Fechtel recently got the backing of Liberty Counsel, a conservative legal-advocacy group in Maitland. She's asking Lake County commissioners and library officials to label objectionable books aimed at middle- and high-school students.

Fechtel and another Leesburg mother, Diane Venetta, are targeting books that Fechtel says are "glorifying illegal behavior."

"What we're talking about here [are books] depicting a lifestyle that just doesn't work if they're going to be the leaders of our nation," she said. "It's a shame that we as a community are feeding [teens] this kind of garbage."

One of the books that started the mom on her quest was a "Gossip Girl" novel. Umm...hello? You didn't know that was going to be inappropriate (and crap) just by the title? Apparently she's already managed to somehow convince the Leesburg library to label some Young Adult books "high school" and put them on a special shelf in the YA section. The kicker? Kids aren't restricted from checking out any book in the section. So now you've just made it easier for the kids to find books about drugs and sex. Just go to the "high school" section!

Look, I was a precocious kid and a voracious reader when I was little. I was reading Sweet Valley High books when I was in the 4th grade. That's inappropriate subject material! You know what? It didn't turn me into anything bad.

Deborah Caldwell-Stone, deputy director of the American Library Association's Office for Intellectual Freedom in Chicago, said labeling books would put a burden on libraries and force librarians to act as parents.

"The whole issue of rating content gets into the rat's nest of who decides what's too much, what's too little, what is banned and what is not," she said. "What it comes down to is: It's the parent's decision."

So why not simply ask the parents to be parents? Why not expect them to talk to their children and know what they are reading and watching on TV? Why not use the books with questionable themes as a learning opportunity? Oh yeah, because it's easy to ask the librarians (whose funds and staffing have been cut all over the country, but that's another story) to parent your children for you.

Maybe these moms got their ideas from a book that should be marked for its questionable content!

Window(s) Shopping

I recently discovered a site where I find myself alternating between "wow, I really need that!" and "wow, they really think someone is going to buy that?" It's Etsy. Etsy makes it really fun to window shop with their "pounce" function. It basically shuffles through the sellers, so even if you don't know what you want to look at, you'll figure it out.

Case in point: I need one of these. Scott agrees. Tell me you don't need one too!

I also just found out that there's a giveaway going on for one of those adorable aprons here. You know I'm entering that!!

Food

The little dietitian who lives inside my brain has decided to kill herself, since it's obvious she's going to continue to be unheeded. Taco dip for lunch, Arby's for dinner, chocolate cake for breakfast... it's like I'm a walking billboard for poor life decisions!

In my defense, Scott and I spent most of this week eating the leftovers from our grill party last weekend. And to further my defense, we brought 2 (nearly) whole cakes to our respective workplaces, and neither of us ate a slice.

Right now, Scott is starting to grill/cook our meat for the week. If there's room in the fridge, I'm going to make a few less-bad-than-taco-dip sides, including okra-tash (it's like succotash, but just okra and corn) and couscous. My hope is that I manage to avoid ALL fast food for the next 7 days, and that I eat at least one green vegetable per day. And maybe start my day with a glass of juice. And maybe not eat when I get home at 10:30 pm.

...but let's not go crazy. For now, green vegetables and no fast food. My insides thank me in advance. And maybe I can get the little dietitian off of suicide watch!

From the Mouths of Babes

(or the chalk-covered hands of little yellow boys...either way...)

Don't ask. Because I might be tempted to tell you. In an elevated voice. With many expletives.

Rookwood Red

I found out that Sherwin Williams has a fun little app on its website that allows you to upload a picture of a room and experiment with different paint colors. After 1/2 hour and every shade of the rainbow, Scott and I are still fond of the first color I clicked on.

The area under the microwave is left intentionally white, for an eventual white tile backsplash (yeah, boring, but not with a crazy-dark color on the walls).

So what do you think? I like it because it matches my stand mixer! (nope, you can't see the stand mixer past the other stuff on the counter. you'll have to take my word for it)

Ad-Stalking

Let me start by just saying this: Google Ads, please stop looking at my cookies!

I was doing a little online research for a hypothetical vacation I'm planning to [the coolest place ever, OMG the pictures I'm going to come back with!] before work this morning. I was bouncing between Travelocity, Hotwire, and generic internet searches for hotels in the vicinity of [the coolest place ever, OMG the pictures I'm going to come back with!].

What a coincidence that, as I was going through various blogs this evening, I kept seeing the same ad for La Quinta popping up on sidebars. This happened to me once before that I was actually aware of, when I was window-shopping for faucets and then all of a sudden the same faucet I had clicked on on overstock.com suddenly appeared in a banner ad, and then another banner ad, and another.

I suppose it's really smart marketing. In this case though, it's kind of ridiculous. I checked into it - the La Quinta Inn in [the coolest place ever, OMG the pictures I'm going to come back with!] is $199/night. I think I'd rather stick with a bed & breakfast for half that, even if it means Scott will have to grit his teeth and play nice with strangers.

As for [the coolest place ever, OMG the pictures I'm going to come back with!], I don't want to give it away quite yet. For now, I'll just tell you that it's somewhere in the map below:

By the way, it's not that I'm being coy. I mean, I guess I am. But right now this is one of those things that seems full of magic and adventure, and it's all mine and Scott's. Once I tell the rest of the world, then it's like we have to share with everyone else. And politely accept input. And pretend we care that {insert obscure relative here} once planned to go there, but {broke/ruptured/sprained} {his/her} {body part} and had to cancel the trip.

Plus, it's a pretty major trip that I'm basically hypothetically planning with a month-ish window. I may get overwhelmed and decide to just get a plane/hotel/car package deal to a major city - NY, DC, and Chicago top that "b" list.

Oh, and I can't share too much, lest we get robbed while we're on vacation like all those morons who advertise all sorts of personal crap on the internet. I could quite possibly be one of those morons. But I'm really trying hard not to be.

Pond Log III: Leaving the Pond

Guess who's sunbathing rightthisveryminute behind the house!!!

Those first two pictures were taken from the bedroom, through the screen. In order to get this next picture I had to run downstairs, open the blinds on the glass door, and stand on a chair!

Somehow, he seems less menacing lounging in the grass than he does lurking under water.

Anyway, I'm about to be late for work. TTFN!

New Toy

Elphie says hi. See?

Sure, this isn't a great photo. I'd argue that it isn't even a good photo. But I took it with the webcam built in to the new netbook.

The netbook, a.k.a. "vacation computer," is tiny. The keyboard is cramped, though positively enormous compared to attempting to type on my cell phone. The screen is big enough for casual web surfing or video watching, though I wouldn't want to have to actually work on it.

Anyway, you should be glad that all you have is a still picture of Elph...it could've just as easily been a video of Scott and Milo asleep on the couch! Perhaps I should take one of them to bed now. G'night!

Houston, We Have a Problem

Cute little ducklings, right? Sadly, we may never know how cute, because the only photo editing software that came with this computer was PAINT!

It's not really a crisis. I mean, it's not a crisis at all. It just means either I'll have to throw myself on the mercy of online photo editing software or find the CDs that are probably in the closet in this very room. The printer came with a program that lets you do layers and all sorts of fun stuff. Not it's just a matter of finding it!

Anyway, thanks to Scott for taking this picture while I was trapped at work. He thinks, given their extremely small size, that the nest must be around our pond somewhere. If that's the case, I worry about their chances of survival, considering not just the alligator(s), but the hawks and eagles in the area as well. I count at least 6 of them up there... it'll be cool if they stick around and I get to watch them grow up. Plus, Scott really has an affinity for the ducks. They might be his favorite of all the pond birds.

Writer's Block

So...not only can I not think of anything to say today, I don't even have the luxury of pictures on the hard drive to fall back on. So here's a clip from last weekend's Saturday Night Live. Sure, this is definitely a cheaty-pants post, but you've got to admit it's hilarious!

Last Blog with Mary Jane

This will be my last blog on the old computer, thus the weird post title. And because I am incredibly tired this morning, but had to be awake for the FOUR HOUR 8-noon Geek Squad window (you'd think geeks would be better at scheduling!), here's some pictures of my cats:


Some more fun with perspective from Elphie and Kilo...only this time she does look smaller than she actually is. Also, yesterday someone said our stair rail looked like it came straight out of an Escher painting. I'm pretty sure she was referring to that part where Elphie is!

Milo contemplates the cranes. One of these guys came up 3 feet from me while I was taking pictures. Cool? Yes. Scary? Hell yes! Those things could peck my boobs out! (not quite tall enough to reach the eyes) I think Milo got enough of an up-close view of them to realize he was out-matched.

Also, now that I've gotten some good pictures of the sand hill cranes, I think I have a full collection of bird pictures and can now put together my own bird-spotting guide. But of course, part of me thinks I should wait until Fall so that I know I've seen the entire year's worth of birds.

Reflections

I'm too scattered to sit down and write all about how exciting it was last night to stand at the screen door and watch a great blue heron.

Enthralling, right?

Well, long story short, the heron was walking way up away from the water, which spooked the cats. I've never seen them with their feet on dry land! So I watched it walk about 10 feet, ruffling its feathers and walking really strangely. The bird was spooked too! So we thought maybe the pond log was back. And we kept seeing something in the water. It just didn't seem alligator-like to us, but we weren't sure. And then the heron walked into the marsh and neither of us could bear to turn away, thinking the poor thing was about to be eaten by the dinosaur in the water.

So that's basically why we were watching. At some point, I tore myself away to grab my camera, since the heron was in a place with a near-perfect reflection of itself shining back. By the time I got the camera, I missed that picture, but came close with another one:

I dig symmetry! So about the time I took that picture, I had two simultaneous problems: the batteries in the camera were dying, and the memory card was full. So I stopped taking pictures. And then the heron lunged into the water - I really thought the gator got it - and came back up with a fish. I was standing there with my camera and couldn't take a picture!

And then, maybe 2 minutes later, a snake bird popped out the water with one of those big fat catfish, but the catfish got away.

So I changed the batteries and deleted some old pictures, but by that time the heron had moved on down the shore to another patch of marsh. And that's when the weird lump in the reeds popped back up.

Can you see it above? The reason we thought it was a turtle or a frog at first is because there was only one lump sticking out of the water. Usually with an alligator, you'll see the eyes and the nose sticking up. Keep in mind that picture above was taken with my camera on the highest zoom. It's much more visible than to the naked eye. And it wasn't until I did some photo cropping this morning that I saw the tiny nostrils, barely visible above the surface:

I'm still not sure whether this itty bitty alligator was hunting the heron or spooked by it, but either way it made for some excitement out back! And all of a sudden I'm dreading the idea that at some point I'm going to see one of my birds as the prey instead of the predator. I'm also secretly hoping that I can take pictures of it. Hopefully that doesn't make me a bad person!

Morning Rituals

In the morning, I always take a look out at the pond while I'm brushing my teeth just to see if there's anything cool out there. Yesterday, it was the Pond Log, swimming merrily along right below the surface. He disappeared after the lawn guy went by. Scott says they don't like the vibrations.

Really, he's only 3-4 feet long. Without any frame of reference in the photo, it looks like he could be twice that length. Except you can tell he's got a tiny little snout.

Also, Elphie inevitably stands guard outside the bedroom door, waiting for someone going out to let her in. It's because she's so cute we can't bear to say no. And she always jumps up on the bed for some petting from whomever is handy. First thing in the morning is NOT cuddle time. Pet her or prepare for the nagging meows to start. Still, she's adorable. We really can't resist!


...and though it looks like Scott is crushing her in this picture, you'll have to take my word that this is her "ooh...pet my belly!" time. It's her freakish non-cat-like habit. What other cat do you know who begs to have their belly rubbed (and the ones who lay on their backs daring you to pet their bellies don't count)?

These are the simple things in my day that make me smile.

Evolution of a Facebook Self-Portrait

We took the side roads up to the hairdresser this morning. On the way up, pre-haircut, I noticed we were driving past miles of orange trees in full blossom. I opened the window wide and stuck my face out so that I could drink as much of the smell in as possible. Yes, Scott was driving. You can't stick your head out when you're in the driver's seat!

On the way back home, we went the same way and I did the same thing. I noticed that while I had my face out the window, I was holding me feet up. It was like I was flying. Through orange blossom air. Ahhhh.... That's when I noticed my hair in the side mirror...


Sadly, I'm just not artistic enough to pull off the proper composition of the side mirror photo. So I held the phone with both hands and tried again, concentrating on not letting the phone fly out of my iron grip!


Crazy hair? CHECK! Smile or appropriate goofy face? Not so much. Third time's the charm, right?Yep, third time's the charm! The hair doesn't look quite as awesome as in the second picture, but the face is the perfect mixture of joy and insanity. I mentioned the other day on Twitter that I was high on orange blossoms. Obviously, I meant it!

Please ignore my face in this last picture. It's the best one so far of the new 'do. It was actually taken after the photos above, which has got to be the mark of a great haircut - survival! You can't really tell how short it is here, but trust me when I say I actually had to suppress a panic attack in the chair from about the halfway point of the cutting until the end of the blow drying.

I like it though, and I'm curious to see what it looks like tomorrow when I have to style it myself! I told Scott that it's like 'grown-up hair,' and I think that's the best description I can muster for right now.

Funny About Money

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you may already know this story. I got notification of my raise this week. Also, I got notification that I am topped-out in my pay grade. Actually, I wasn't so much 'notified' as told that I was getting a six cent per hour raise. And when I questioned why, with a first-rate evaluation, I was only getting six cents, I was told I was topped out. Surprise!

For those of you doing the quick math, my raise will cover less than one gallon of gas per week. Slightly longer math reveals that I'll be making an extra $124.80 annually before taxes.

It certainly doesn't cover the rise in my health insurance premiums this year. It doesn't cover inflation. And in my book, it's a big fat insult.

To his credit, my boss is making a half-assed attempt to have my pay grade changed. Technically, right now I'm a clerk. If he can have me bumped up to coordinator, the pay will be slightly better. Realistically, if this decision is made by the same bean counters who refuse to adequately staff our location, I think it's unlikely that they're going to change my status.

Ironically enough, my past two jobs are both hiring this week. I got an email from a former co-worker (to be fair, he sent it to 5 other people too) pointing out that they were hiring and to PLEASE consider coming back. He also told me that the starting pay is nearly $1 more per hour than what I'm making now.

There are a lot of reasons why I left that location. Most of it had to do with negativity. A lot of the people there are miserable and just working for a paycheck. And a lot of my job was handling angry yelling people on the phone. But I was good at it. And even with zero seniority, I'd be a part of a team with multiple members and therefore able to actually take vacation or use sick pay without having to beg someone else to cover for me.

So...irony or fate? I have a week to decide, but right now I'm leaning towards applying. What's the worst that could happen?